Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Rain (Not The Nightclub)


It's 6:30pm. I just got in from work. It's pouring out. Like, "it's raining cats and dogs" pouring. I got out of work, and I saw it, and I thought "Oh shit." Then I was like, "Never fear, I have an umbrella!" And then my umbrella humiliated me by not giving me the right protection. If rain was an STD, I'd be ridden with them right now. Absolutely ridden. The best part of it all? I was wearing a white shirt. Even better? I was wearing a black bra. Put that together with running mascara and glasses covered in water, and you have yourself a white trash whore that nobody would pay any money to sleep with. Zero money. Sort of like Amy Sedaris from "Strangers with Candy".

The T smelled strongly of wet dog. Mainly because everyone on it was soaked. And there may have been one or two dogs (ugly people). Every girl on the train had her cute outfit ruined, every guy had on wet suits (like suits that were wet, not suits to go diving in) - which for some guys looked kind of hot. OK, one guy. He looked really hot.

When I was in second grade, I was asked, "What's your favorite kind of weather?" and I had to answer it out loud and I said, "Rainy." I think it was because I got to sleep in and not be woken up by sunlight. But still, it seems really morbid, doesn't it? What kind of second grader wants to stay inside and sleep and not be woken up to face the horrible day? I don't even know why I said that, cause I was usually up at the crack of dawn and outside dancing in my back yard within ten minutes of waking. I was a happy child.

Again, in second grade, I read a book called "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" where meatballs fell from the sky. It was written by Judy Barrett. I told everyone she was my aunt (and to be fair, I did have an aunt named Judy). But I was lying. That particular Judy Barrett was not my aunt. I'm sorry second grade class.

Winnie the Pooh was my favorite character when I was little. And the story of Piglet's home being flooded and putting a message in a bottle and floating around on a chair always sticks out to me. I wanted to rescue Piglet. Or I just wanted to have a flooded home and put a message in a bottle for help. Not sure about that one.

I'm ready for the clouds to go away.

1 comment:

becky said...

i seriously thought my train car was going to get struck by lightning on the bridge before wellington last night. lightning was hitting the water RIGHT NEXT TO US and the train stopped.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails