Wednesday, July 30, 2008

DAMN - girl gettin' REAL


So, I’m young. I’m 22. Sure, I’m always complaining about being old because my bones hurt – but don’t worry, I’m taking Vitamin D for that. And a one-a-day woman’s! (I’m old.)

Regardless, I was thinking earlier… about things… and how I always think the world is going to end when something doesn’t go my way (like I commit to something so much & get nothing in return. Not even an email address with my name in at placeofwork.com!) Or when I really like someone – and shit doesn’t work out (I mean, not that that’s happened in the past two or three years or anything…) and I think I’m never going to get over it and it’s always going to haunt me. But – time passes, doesn’t it? And everything sort of… gets better. And you’re no longer running away to cry – and things become more bearable. The last time I was at a low point – someone said, “You’re stronger than you think you are.” Which A) was coming from the person who put me in the low point, so it was like “fuck you, don’t try to make me feel better!” and B) Fuck, it’s true.

But it never stops me when shit happens again. But I’m young! And while reading literary masterpieces (Glamour and Self) I learned that things only get better when you get older. Like, actually older… like 30’s and 40’s. So, maybe eventually I’ll calm down. And I can realize that I just graduated and I’m in no rush. I’ll figure it all out – eventually. And I’m kind of awesome – so if I keep being awesome, awesome things will happen? True. I’m 22 – and I’ve got a long way to go, right?

Well, not if I keep driving drunk.

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