Thursday, September 18, 2008

Adventures of Patty and Roberto


Today at work I was super bored and all I wanted to do was go outside in the park and read Eclipse. So did Roberto, who is also reading Eclipse. We decided to take our "lunch break" and go on an adventure to Border's so I could buy the 4th book of the Twilight saga.

So we went, and I got it and we looked at books. Y'know, adventures. I looked at a picture book on how to give great blow jobs - it showed all sorts of positions. And I said we should have a work reading club and have that be the first book. I looked up and a lady in the aisle smiled at me, and laughed. She was a bit older, so I felt pretty stupid. But oh well.

Then we stood in a line. And stood... and stood... and stood...

We walked through the Irish Famine memorial - and I said, "This is the story of my people. The potato famine." And then Roberto said, "Ew someone threw up in it!" And I looked over and yes, there was a pile of puke in a portion of one of the statues. I responded with, "Well that's also the story of my people. We get crazy drunk and throw up everywhere."

Then we thought, "Let's get Starbucks!" It was busy - but it's always busy. It ended up being slightly ridiculous. The guy working the register spilled hot coffee on the girl taking orders and she snapped, and he gave her bitchy eyes and said, "It didn't hurt you last time." As if he's ALWAYS accidently getting hot coffee on her.

Then they kept messing up drink orders and Roberto's coffee never came out - and 20 minutes later, we were back on Washington St.

We discussed going on a duck tour and showing back up at the office with "I <3 BOSTON" t-shirts on, quacking duck mouth things, and waving Boston-themed flags. Then, as we were mere steps from our office, we started crossing the street (there was a red light!) and a truck almost hit us. Then the driver laughed. And then a fast car almost hit us, and that driver also kinda laughed.

I thought a good end to this story would have been that we DID get hit mere steps from our office, and then as our co-workers left for the day 2 hours later, they'd see our bodies in the crosswalk, and go, "Hm, didn't even notice they left...." as they stepped through the crime scene and over our bodies.

But no, just.. back to work.

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