Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Story of Me

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Today at work I got an IM that said, "Hey, are you ok? You seem sad lately."

This is wrong for a letter of reasons.

A) I didn't realize I was.
B) Am I? I guess I am.
C) That's embarrassing.
D) I'm tired of it.

I haven't been able to sleep lately. I'd say it started right after Vegas, it feels like around that time, but I didn't sleep all that well in Vegas either. Despite the 16 naps a day. And I could have slept in for hours - and still woke up at 7am. But I take sleeping pills all the time. There is so much running through my brain throughout the day, and when I put my head on my pillow(s)... the thoughts run faster and faster. You'd think all the fast running would exhaust me even more and make me pass out - but no. Just keeps me up tossing and turning for hours.

Then when I eventually fall asleep and wake up the next day, I feel awful - because I'm in a sleeping pill coma. That sets the tone for the rest of the day, where I sit at work for hours filled with mundane tasks and tons of MTV and VH1 reality shows.

Am I just bored with life? I was in a blah slump after Vegas because it was the most exciting thing that had happened in my life for a while. It was so spontaneous. And then I had to go back to my 8:30-5:30 lifestyle. I feel like I'm way too young to be in this rut, but I still am. I'm in a rut. That's what's wrong. My rut.

Well fuck the rut. I'm going to get a good sleep tonight, mind be damned. And when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to not be pouty Patty. I'm going to be perky Patty.

Let's all take a moment to think "Where in the world is Evan Kaufman and what is that crazy jew doing?" Probs writing poetry... OR MAYBE BLOGGING? Spotted.

Barrett All

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