Saturday, November 29, 2008

Awesome Soup


The other day I got a text message from Mike Anastasia that said, "I think you paint a bleak picture of me in your blog." due to the fact that I say things like, "I tell new hires not to look Mike in the eye" because well, he's the talent, and you just don't do that, right?

I want to paint a better picture of Mike.

I used to keep a quote board. I wish I still did, but Myspace stopped letting me update it, so I had to stop. And I couldn't find a place to put it that was private enough so that no outside hooligans could read all of our stupid secrets.

But, here are some quality Michael pieces:

Here's Geek Mike. . .

Mike: I could do a lot with that money Patty. I could buy two whores and pay for them to fight each other.
Me: Who buys two whores to see them fight??
Mike: ... in superhero costumes!

Mike There's always some no-talent ass clown asking me how many times did I have to take the Super Hero quiz before I ended up as the Green Lantern, and I'm like, 'first time, ass clown'.

Mike: Patty, why are your eyes and face burning?
Me: I don't know.
Mike: Maybe new make-up, new shampoo?
Me: Nope.
Mike: Batman dip you in toxic chemicals?
Me: Yes. That's it.

Here's Caring Mike. . .

Mike: Babe, what's up?
Me: What do you mean?
Mike: Jeremy and I are staging an intervention!
Jeremy: We even wore our sports coats for the occasion.
Mike: And we're switching.
*they switch Sports coats*
Mike: Now what's the matter?

Mike: Patty... are you drunk? Have a few drinks?
Me: No! Why does everyone always think I'm drunk?
Mike: Because Patty, I'm always angry and you're always drunk!

Mike: What are you guys doing??
Me: Nothing...
Mike: Why are we googling mole people??
Jeremy: Cause Patty's never seen a mole person before...
Mike: Cause we're making fun of people?
Me: Yes...

Here's Improv Director Mike. . .

Mike: *regarding a scene I had done* Project when you're on your knees.

Here's Drunk Mike (also known as Regular Mike). . .

Michael: I realized that I love drinking, and this is the 5th consecutive day that I've been drinking and I love it.

Mike: If he (a magician) gets this next trick, I'm going to punch Patty in the face!

Here's Senile Mike. . .

Mike: I'm just so normal and sane and everyone else is fucking nuts.
Me: That's right. As long as you believe that, Mike.

Mike: I'm the least creepy person you know.
Me: Eh, I don't know about that.
Mike: I'm not creepy, Patty! I just like smoochin' randoms, that doesn't make me creepy.

Here's Athletic Mike. . .

Mike: I went to the gym, Patty. Pushed the weights around.

And here, finally, is Classic Mike. . .

Mike: Alright, Patty. I'm gonna go be awesome. See ya later.



He's my favorite!

1 comment:

Betsy said...

I don't understand why you can't have a secret blog quote board. Or even a blocked live journal. Or even just a handwritten diary.

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