Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I Ain't Got No Monies



I have a job.

Thank my lucky stars – because I’m poor babies. Last night I was online shopping for some Christmas gifts and I decided to check my credit card statement. The sucky thing is that my credit card is through Bank of America. My checking account is through Bank of America, as well. So if I’m checking one balance, I end up having to check them all. Savings Account = zilch (thanks Starbucks!) Credit Card balance… smallish amount, but checking account… so small nearly induced a heart attack.

I saw the amount.

I hyperventilated.

I freaked out more.

And I immediately was placed back to 18 years old. Sitting in my car at a gas station. A man just pumped the gas then took my card for payment. I gave him my card. He came back. “This card was declined.” “But that’s the only card I have!” “Well, it was declined, you don’t have any cash?” “No, I don’t!” And then I freaked out, and freaked out – and had to call my sister to give me her CC number to give to the guy so I could pay my $10 for gas.

But, then, at the age of 18 – during the summer of 2004 – I didn’t have a job. I was living off graduation money! And you know what I spent nearly every cent of that money on? Starbucks! I went to Starbucks everyday! I had a car! So, basically, Starbucks has been ruining my life for like… 6 years.

It took texting the first person I could think of that A) I wouldn’t be too embarrassed to tell the amount of money in my bank account and B) who I know for sure has had the same problem numerous times… and them reminding me I get paid on Friday. Cause I have a job. That’s right. I have a job. In fact, I’ll get paid from TWO jobs on Friday! So, then I will be able to spend spend spend and rack up more $130 bar bills! 

So now I’m okay.

Plus once I collect the nearly $500 that people owe me, then I’ll be more than okay!

And also, I like some things about my job. Like, flirting with delivery guys! And, sending out emails that say “You have a package!” and giggling at the innuendo, and sometimes even referencing the innuendo or having it referenced back to me. And I like the satisfaction of a job well done, even if it’s not a job I’m 100% into. I like knowing I’m awesome at anything I put my mind into doing – am I right? Great.

I had a Venti Starbucks drink this morning – RUINING MY LIFE – so I’m wired like a maniac. In a couple of hours I’ll crash and become manically depressed. But until then!

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