I Got Carried Away

Well I’ve got to write about it, right? What kind of Carrie Bradshaw fan would I be if I didn’t write about the ‘Sex and the City’ movie? Although, I’m not lying in my bed with my Apple laptop before me and my thoughts being narrated for the world to hear. They’re not that interesting anyway, and today they would just go something like, “I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired.”

I’m TIWED because last night I went to see the movie at midnight. I had every intention to go home right after work (work #1) but then I found out that I was managing at night, so I had to go to work. I didn’t sleep the night before, so I was running on low fuel. And then when I got to work, I was reminded of Sex and the City and somehow let the kids convince me to go with them. Then Brian O’Hara told me that it was a 2.5 hour long movie, which would mean I’d get home around 3-3:30am (which happened) and leave me with 4 hours of sleep. Sigh. I did it anyway.

It was a random grouping of Me, Jules, Keith and Aly (one of the new ushers). We got there and there were tons of girls pretending to be running around in couture and Manolo’s but they were really just wearing H&M and Steve Madden’s. I bought Julia’s ticket, and we shared a medium popcorn and a large icee. We were clearly on a date.

As far as the movie went, I loved every minute of it. All 150 of them. I mean, whenever I’m bored, I just pop in a Sex and the City DVD and watch the episodes for like 3 hours… so, this was really no different. It was just an uninterrupted string of episodes. A mini-7th season. There were storylines that normally would take about 1-2 seasons to wrap up, and they wrapped up in the end of the movie. I mean, I just loved to be hanging out with my girls again (“my girls” being Charlotte, Carrie, Miranda and Samantha, not Keith and co.) and there were certainly some TERRIFIC moments (like Stanford and Anthony GETTING ALONG!) But, they were all so old. And it sort of made me sad in a way, not that it was over for good, but just, in general. I cried at the end. But I was also very, very tired.

But anyway, I’m running on 4 hours of sleep right now. I’m DYING. Oh, and I’m a Carrie. Jim Geraghty’s totally a Miranda.

HEEL! HEEL! Heil?

I was driving down Main Street in Everett last week when I saw this billboard.

My first thought was, IS THAT A TACO BELL AD MODELED AFTER HITLER?!?!? I was shocked! I didn't know what to do... so I called my sister and told her. We both looked it up on the internet, but we couldn't find anything. No website, nothing on the Taco Bell website, and nothing anywhere on the internet. I'd assume that if people saw it they'd be infuriated and have some sort of backlash! Surely it isn't right for an ad campaign to be modeled after (or even make fun of) Adolph Hitler. (At least I think it's still too soon. I mean, not that I don't love Hitler... and by "love Hitler" I mean love reading about him and watching documentaries about him... better, right?)

I think that because it has a chihuahua in the poster, with spiraling red stripes. And the text says "HEEL HEEL HEEL", which I connected with "HEIL! HEIL! HEIL!" But maybe I'm wrong.

I just looked it up again. I didn't find anything, but I googled "Hitler" which brought me to an image of the newspaper headline saying "HITLER DEAD" (although it is dated 1942, so it had to be a mistake... would hate to be the reporter who did that) and then I clicked on the website it was from, and I read a paragraph about his sexuality, and it's been said that he had a weird sexual fantasy - which may have caused all three woman in his life to attempt suicide... I think it was probably just because he was a crazy mother fucker - called "urolagnia" which I then wikipedia'd and found out it is a urination fetish. But, wikipedia also stated "The practice of drinking large quantities of one's own urine as alternative medicine is not the same as urolagnia." So, don't worry people who do that, you're not a perverted freak.

To end this blog entry, I would like to congratulate you on taking a trip through my ADD brain with me. I hope you have enjoyed the journey you have embarked on with my mind, starting with a strange billboard and ending with both the consumption and fascination of urine.

Time To Remember

I don't remember what I did this past weekend.

Oh. Right. Yes, I do. Anyway...

The best part about my new job is "summer hours" which means that during the summer months (although it's starting now) we get out at 1:00 on Fridays. So, that means I only have to work from 8:30-1pm, but I get paid until 5:30. I like getting paid to do things like walk around the city aimlessly, or lie in my bed and take a nap!

This week is the best though because I didn't work yesterday (Memorial Day) but I got paid to sleep in late, go for a nice walk, drink Starbucks, buy new make-up, have lunch with Janine, and watch "Knocked Up" for the first time. So, that was exciting.

The only not exciting part is waking up at 7am. And I forgot my phone at home and realized it when I got to the T station. And then the train stopped for a while between Malden and Wellington station, which prevented me from being able to go to Starbucks. BUT, I do enjoy getting to work at 8:30, because it's nice being there when nobody's there. Also, I get out a 1/2 hour earlier, which is better. Especially when I'll have to run over to Improv Asylum.

The sad part about this whole "summer hours" thing.. is that I've already felt sad for the winter months, when I'll have to work until 5:30 on Friday. I'm already dreading it, and the summer hours haven't even started yet! They start Friday! But I'm that type of person, the type of person who's in Disney World and can't wait to go back another time, even when I've got 5 days left there.

Remember when there was a thunder and lightening storm in the middle of the day today, then it was beautiful (albeit humid) again?? I do.

I can't wait until Nick gets back from Italy! Ciao!

It Was So, So Cold In There

Last night Jeremy, Evan and I went to see our friends (Tony, Nick and Christina) in some plays in Allston. We were going to take the T over, but we ended up driving, found a parking spot right outside, and then got there early enough to split an ice cream at cold stone. We got cake batter ice cream with graham cracker crust, gummy bears, and reese's peanut butter cups. It was delicious.

The plays were interesting, but the kids (Tony, Nick and Christina) were really great. It was fun to see Nick doing something other than improv, I don't think I've ever seen him do anything else... even though he has done theater, I've just never seen it.

Afterwards, we drove to Cambridge St. to go to The Liberty Hotel for Clink and there was a line out the door. There were two guys there checking id's and monitoring the line, and somehow the three of us just walked right in. Nobody asked us any questions, I assumed they thought we were guests. So, we headed up the elevator and saw that the lobby was SO CROWDED with corporate men and slutty sluts, and we definitely wouldn't be able to get drinks and fancy cheese and enjoy ourselves! So, we left, and completely downgraded to IHOP where there was some sort of after prom celebration with 100 high school kids (including two sad girls in their prom dresses eating alone), and the most annoying women in the world sitting next to us, with a waiter who obviously worked at IHOP part-time to pay off the guitar he bought for his punk rock band.

Thursday night I didn't sleep at all because I was so nervous about Friday and the new job. Ugh, it was a horrible night of tossing and turning and three viewings of the same episode of 30 Rock. So, I was exhausted, but we still went to the theater to see who was there, and while I turned down watching Volver to go home and sleep, we ended up staying and talking until 2am.

It was fun. They made me feel uncomfortable about my driving abilities. And even when we got to Allston, and I parallel parked, I said, "I hate parallel parking with people, well mainly with Steve because he makes fun of me." And Evan said, "We won't judge you." But they did, they judged my drifting and my not-switching-lanes... and Evan said something like "The way you drive doesn't change the fact that you're a good person." So, I'm a bad driver and a good person? That's incorrect! I'm not a good person, either.

The new job is scary, but I think I'll be capable of doing it because I'm a smart girl and a hard worker, so I'll make it my own. I've been in need of some encouragement lately though, so feel free to tell me how awesome I am all the time so I feel better about myself. Danke!

What Can Happen In A Week

Well, I interviewed for a full-time job on Monday. I thought I did pretty well, I was pretty honest and thought I went off on a tangent too much, or was too honest (meaning slightly bitter about previous job experiences) but, they liked me, so they hired me two days later and I started today.

I was freaking out at one point because I didn't think I'd find a job. I spent basically all week fucking around. I stayed up late, I got a pedicure, I went to a matinee and saw an embarrassingly hilarious movie (What Happens In Vegas... shut up), I ate popcorn, I did karaoke by myself at a bar (though my friend was there... I'm not that pathetic), I took naps... and then all of a sudden I'm thrown into the work force and have to go to bed and get up early. I'm not sure how to handle it.

But, the first day on the job got me thinking about my life, and the past four years, and things. Y'know, the way a giant shift will force you to do. I'm going to miss being a student a lot. When I look at Suffolk though, and think of the time I spent there as a student, I'm really going to miss that brief point before rehearsal when we all stood outside and the kids smoked their cigarettes and we talked about whatever events happened the previous night that made Nick Wilson late, Nick Mandella sneer, Julia show up a hot mess, Trevor go missing, Kelly run down the street with a coffee in hand. Sigh.

And then I thought about Improv, and what I miss about working there during the day and how my life was last summer compared to this summer, and well, I do miss a lot. I miss the satisfaction of doing my job (and doing it well) and the comfort. But, that came with time, and all of that will come with the new job too if I just give it a chance.

I haven't been "the new girl" in quite some time. . . like, 3 years, so it's a little strange walking in and not having everyone know me, and not know what I'm doing and know everything about the job inside and out. But, time, it takes time. Soon enough I will have tons of friends, know the job like the back of my hand, and be very very bitter. I can't wait!

Oh, and I got through the day today comparing everyone with IA people, cause there were some where I was like, "Oh, there's the Jeremy of the group.. there's the Dana D, there's the Chet and Norm, there's the Chris Loughran..." But the only difference is they're all proactive and chipper, so everyone at IA is their lazy, angry counterparts.

As We Go On, We Remember . . .

Today was the day I graduated college. Ah dia feliz! (I speak in Spanish because I have now joined the group of educated people, and nothing says 'educated' like speaking in another language!)

I woke up a bunch of times this morning and kept having weird dreams about graduation, so right when I thought I didn't give a shit, I realized that I actually did give a shit. I sort of forgot I was graduating until this past week when I was like "Oh yeah, it's not just my birthday this weekend, I have graduation." But I didn't care.

Today I felt nervous. I got teary eyed a few times just realizing it was all over. I have to grow up and be a real person now, I can't roll out of bed at noon, or skip classes to have lunch with Seriously Bent in the Donahue Caf. Oh... Seriously Bent... that's right, no more of that. No more seeing my school friends on a regular basis, and who knows when I'll see them again! But it also felt great. I felt accomplished, proud, happy, and mature. And I figured graduating Magna Cum Laude was a big accomplishment, considering how busy I was throughout the past four years. So, all in all, it was a bittersweet. Which is how a graduation should be.

Luckily, since my last name begins with B, I was among the first few in line and got started with everything quickly, including procession and receiving my diploma. And Julia and I had conversations with each other loudly even though we were like 3 lines apart. And then when the ceremony was about to start, I had to motion to her to fix her hair becuase her ear was sticking out. She got out of her seat and screamed for me when my name was called, and I yelled "OOH OOH!" to her, and she yelled it right back, pumping her fake diploma in the air.

Not a bad birthday! Not a bad graduation day! Not a bad life I lead!

There's Jules and I in what looks like heaven.

Birthday Part Deux

Every night is a celebration when you have great friends. Cause I sure do.

Tonight I turned 22 at midnight. That was 2 and a half hours ago, and I was working - about to start the midnight show. At midnight I got hugs and "Happy Birthdays!" and texts, and I felt pretty great. Is this a blog to brag about how awesome I am, and how much I love attention? Sure, maybe, but at least I admit it.

I'm going to cut to the chase though, cause this blog was initially about how much I love my friends (not me). How much I love that Jim Geraghty is basically my dad, and has been there for the past 3 birthdays and provided me with a cake for each. Tonight's cake was the most delicious chocolate cake ever, rivaling only the most delicious chocolate cake from the movie Matilda (you know, when the super fat kid has to eat the whole thing!) and it was delivered to me with a pink candle in it while I was rocking out on the dance floor to Miley Cyrus. What better way to celebrate?

And the kids (Kelly and Bryan) got me a Raven Simone card (which, coincidentally is also the one Steve got me for Christmas... despite the fact it's a birthday card) but it was all in the spirit of Trevor and his alter ego, Raven Simone.

There was gossip all around, and Keith talking about audience members, and despite the fact that it was a crazy busy night in a very hot theater, I did my job pretty damn well tonight and remained in a good mood throughout the whole night. Oh, and Jeremy even gave me a piece of gossip for my birthday... sad gossip that would be better if it was about someone else and not him, cause I love him too much!

Also, I have a job interview on Monday and I'm graduating tomorrow. All in all, life is pretty good, and I'm pretty damn lucky. Go me! (There it is, I love myself. Someone has to!)

It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To (And I Did)

The best part about waking up (every hour on the hour from 8:30-12:30) with a pounding headache is... well, not much. But I didn't get out of bed until 3pm. I just laid there, caught up on The Office and Ugly Betty, talked on the phone, texted, talked on AIM, facebook stalked, the usual. But the best part of all was eventually crawling out of bed to find my camera, and see all the pictures I didn't take, and some I don't remember taking, and laughing really hard. Oh, it hurts to laugh.

Last night was my birthday party and anybody who's anybody was there. That's not true, because a lot of good people in the world weren't there, like the pope. While tomorrow's my actual birthday, I decided to celebrate yesterday because tomorrow I'm graduating too. So, I didn't wanna be hungover for that, and nobody goes out on Sunday nights. Well, I do, but that's besides the point.

Fun times were had. Nothing too embarrassing happened... that I know of. Oh, I got pretty messy towards the end... but it's all right because Nick Wilson was there to work his Chicago magic, and then I passed out on the couch for like an hour. It was fun having my most random group of friends all come together to drink for me. They would never drink at any other time! They only drink for me!

The pictures are wonderful though, and it looks as though Evan never needs to have more headshots done because he's clearly done them for himself with my camera. About 40 of them, every angle of his face and his oddly large neck. I will share them.

I love everybody. I'm going to take a nap before I have to go to work. Sigh.

Even If We're Just Dancing In The Dark

When we (Seriously Bent) went to Chicago in November, Nick brought along a camera so that he could get some footage of us on the trip. Not performing, but just... us being us. This shot was taken on the plane there, and Trev got interviewed by Nick.

Around the time this picture was taken, Trevor said he could tell we were flying over Route 1 because he could "see the glowing orange faces of all the Northshore girls" as well as the sign for Kelly's Roast Beef.

It was funny. Trevor's in the hospital again. But this time they don't blame alcohol. Which is good, but after the 3rd time being in the hospital from it within a year, you'd think the doctors would have figured it out by now. I guess third time's a charm.

In an unrelated note, I want to go back to Chicago. So, so bad. But I want it paid for by Suffolk University, and I want it to be with all of my friends... as we eat dinner at the Grand Luxe Cafe and tour the American Girls store.

Why You All Up In My G-chat?

Here's what happens when my sister and I choose not to communicate with words but rather through gchat. Except, sometimes I'm not always logged into it, but she writes anyway. . . I thought it was funny. Sort of like a play-by-play of my horrible lifestyle when I have nothing to do and no car to get anywhere.

betsy: You are walking up the stairs

I hear you

You just opened the door

You just told me that you don't feel like walking there

Eventhough its just down the street

You dont

care

I mean you would go

Now you are in the kitchen

I don't know what you are doing

2:16 PM but I suspect doritos are involved

2:17 PM You are back!!

I missed you so much when you were in the kitchen

But I could never tell you

You have pizza in your hand

I don't think you heated it up

That is gross

You are letting Griffin out but he doesn't want to go

2:18 PM Everytime you leave my heart breaks more

2:19 PM You are asking for the remote

I am sick of you now

I wish you would return to the kitchen

That was when we were at our best

2:20 PM You have the tv on really loud

You changed the channel

HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING??

2:23 PM You have another piece of cold pizza in your hands

What the hell is wrong with you??

GROSS

Sorry

2:24 PM I was interrupted

by some rude bitch

Will Perform for Money

So, I took time off from the House Teams last January because I had a lot going on. I was in Seriously Bent, I had a lot of school work, and working, and it wasn't the same anymore, so I needed to take a break. But I've been doing it again this run, and I swear it has been my favorite run ever - and I thought the others (particularly A-Wipes and Falcor) were hard to beat.

Don't get me wrong, I loved working with Carp and Matt (hence why I started an alternate troupe with them) but working with the group I've got now, and being Jeremy's science fair project, it's all working out so well. Like every performance has been killer, in my mind, and every strange concept we come up with just works. And I've noticed my increasing confidence, or at least the differences in the way I performed last year, even last month, compared to now. It's great, I love it.

But in other news, I'm starting to get scared about not having a job. I've applied to so many places and haven't heard back from anybody and that's scary. How will I afford an apartment? Am I going to have to stay at Improv Asylum forever? Maybe I should just get a group to perform improv on the streets of Faneuil Hall with me for moneys. Or move to Chicago.

What's that? What Are You Saying?

Tonight I was boarded, well I don't know how to put that, but I told Alison via the telephone that after Jeremy walked her home, I would go and pick him up and take him home because I couldn't imagine him walking in general, nevermind late at night where some random man could angrily reach into his blazer and steal his iPhone. And then he said, "Board it" and so I had to actually do it.

I drove in to Boston to pick up Jeremy at Alison's (who lives in Beacon Hill) and I ran into the two of them walking, and they had plans to go to the Liberty Hotel bar for drinks and apps (Alison has been "sobah" for three years, so it's all apps for her.) I was super excited because the hotel (and the bar - Clink) used to be the Charles Street Jail and it was later turned into a hotel/bar, and it still has the jail cells and things like that, and I had been wanting to go there for a while. Luckily I didn't go out in my pajamas, like I was planning, cause it was mildly fancy.

So we went to Alison's place and she put on real clothes that she apparently stuffed herself into, but she looked fabulous with her Coach shoes. Then we went to the bar, where I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere, which was awesome, and the cocktail menu. So Jeremy ordered me my drink, and I don't know the name but it was grapefruity and good, he got a Bombey Sapphire Cosmo, Alison got a tea.

First of all, we got a cheese plate and prosciutto and it was absolutely delicious. It was like our mouths went on adventure. There were six cheese paired with flavorful combos like candied walnuts, fig jam, and other interesting concoctions I don't remember. We tried each cheese and combo separately and, mmm. Mmm. MmmmmMmmmm.

Spending time with Jeremy and Alison is an adventure in itself. Alison is one of the most amazing people, she's just so honest and you never wonder what she's thinking of you. Generally, she likes you. She typically likes everyone, and she's a little rough around the edges with a wonderful Midwestern accent. Jeremy, well he's Jeremy, and I can't really explain how great Jeremy is. He, on the other hand, doesn't typically like everyone. Like me, people need to gain his affection. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. We typically don't like people. I'm honored to be one of the people he likes, I can scratch it off my "Things To Do In Life" list.

We were talking about adderall and why people snort it, and Alison's response was "You might as well just do coke. I mean, if you od'd on adderall and an autopsy was performed on your body, people would just think you're poor."

She was also talking about her "new 18 year old crush who's like 17 or something" and how he stared at her "with passion in his eyes" and she thought inside her mind, "That's right, Phil. I shave my legs."

When we were walking away, Alison said, "Blog about me." But I thought she said "Don't talk about me." When i told Jeremy what I thought she said he goes, "No, exactly the opposite." So here Alison, I'm talking about you.

Look! Jail cells!

I Spy With My Wittle Eye

Betsy, my sister, has her Google set to "Ewmew Fudd" language, and she showed me and I flipped out. I have constantly been saying phrases like, "It's tiwed in hewe." or "No twucks! There's not enough cweawence!" And I call myself Patwicia Mahgwit Bawwett.

Well now I'm glad that my Google page can talk to me in my own voice, so I can "seawch" and "feew wucky", or learn "aww about Google".

To set yours to a different language, just click on "Pwefewences"

Happy Mother's Day !

Today is Mother's Day. My sister is home for the weekend, and we took her out to one of the most fancy establishments we could think of. . . The Cheesecake Factory. The one at the Galleria Mall, too, so ... extra fancy. We thought we'd have plenty of time to kill, as the wait would obviously be years. But we got a table right away. I got a mango margarita! It was delicious.

I treated my mother right by ridiculing her driving and parking choices - which she in return told an embarrassing story to my sister about me hitting a pillar at the mall a few months ago. My sister and her shared rotten stories of my childhood ( I was a terrorist ) and my sister and I turned my mother's stories into comedic bits. Like when my mom said she was walking the dog in the morning and saw two gay men, which she obviously knew were gay based on their put together outfits and the fact they were two men walking together. We made up a bit about how she walked up to them congratulating them on their lifestyle choice and their courage, but in the end they were just brothers. Sometimes I wonder why she never smacks us.

Then she bought us clothes. What better way to celebrate Mother's Day then by having her buy her children outfits ? I just can't see a better activity!

By the way, Griffin is my dog. He's cute.

Funny

That's Brian and Richie, actors from my work. I have ongoing bits with both of them, the bit with Richie is that I love him and I always seek his praise, and he'll either reach out to me, or pretend he doesn't know me. And with Brian, well it's less of a bit and more of me calling him a "fucking cunt" and him telling me he hopes my vagina falls out.

Anyway, this sketch is funny. They're funny guys. And they've got more hilarious stuff with other hilarious people coming up from what I saw the other night.

Salt and Pepper's Got It Swingin' Again

This morning I woke up to get ready, and I played Salt n' Peppa's "None of your Business" very loudly and acted it out as though I break rules and double standards don't mean shit to me.

I put it on shuffle, and then other songs came on. The following song was "Show Me Love" by Robyn (YEAAA JULLESSS). To most people (besides some of my close friends) I have bad music taste. Mainly because I don't listen to hip and cool bands like Magnetic Fields and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, and I only really know what those bands are because of my sister and Mike's t-shirts (he has the one above... among 100 others!). There are some songs I like, mainly the ones that were on Jeremy's NXT Intermission Mix like 2 years ago, but other than that. . . I just can't get into the hipster scene. Maybe I'm not artsy enough.

I've always had "bad" music taste... I grew up obsessively loving The Backstreet Boys, singing their songs and imagining my life traveling the roads of the United States on the tour bus as the group's girlfriend. And now, I like songs I can dance to and walk really fast to. Also songs that I can sing loudly in cars. I don't care about interesting voices and song chords, I'm all for the generic voice and beat that is in every song, as long as I can dance inappropriately to it. I'm not embarrassed!

Right now "Wait A Minute" by the Pussycat Dolls is on... ok, I'm a little ashamed. This song will not go on my "Improv Asylum Appropriate" mix, which is a mix I put on my ipod last year for me to play at work so I wouldn't get made fun of. I'm pretty sure I still did. "She's got Prince on there, and not even good Prince!" Thanks Mike. "Really, Patty? Billy Joel?" Thanks Jeremy.

(and Happy Birthday!)

Let's Go To Kyle's

Dinner at Kyle's. By "dinner" I mean appetizers. They consisted of fruit salad (strawberries and grapes), a giant jar of dill pickles, sesame crackers, soft cheese, a block of cheddar cheese, red pepper hummus, pretzels, chips, ranch dip, french onion dip, and tomatoes with salt. It was a delicious, not-so-classy assortment, but it suited us pretty well.

We each drank our own wonderful selections of wine: Pinot Grigio for me, Arbor Mist for Jules, and Montepulciano for Nick. Kyle drank PBR.

Kyle is Trevor's old roommate, and it was strange being there with new faces. I've been to Trevor's once, so I can't really be nostalgic, but I liked being able to walk into Trevor's room, make fun of his vitamins, and put on his sweater cause I was cold.

Fun events? Nick tickled me and I buckled over and hit my eye on a bottle of wine. It really hurt, and they got me a giant hunk of meat to put on it. Then, I was on a table doing an inappropriate bit with Nick, then I fell off the table and bruised my entire side. Regardless, it was fun and should happen more often. Oh, and we also sang Disney songs. Now that's a party!

Comedians Without Borders

Today Nick and I went to Borders (look Chringy! no apostrophe!) He was looking for an "Angels in America" DVD set, and I was looking for company, and a book to keep me occupied.

Every time a semester ends, I go to Borders and I gets me a book. It marks a time where I can finally read a book without feeling guilty, or feeling like I need to run off and do school work. So, I get a book I can enjoy. Last semester I read "Eat, Pray, Love" and I ate it up, prayed for more, and made love to it. I realized I enjoyed travel writing and memoirs.

Nick's going to Tuscany in two weeks (for two weeks, sigh) and he was looking in the travel section for Italy and Tuscany books. I was looking through travel memoir books and found a few funny ones. The one I chose is "Sand in my Bra" and it's a funny book about different funny writers' adventures, like Ellen Degeneres for example. I thought, since I don't have the money to go away and travel myself, maybe I should stay in my bed and read about other people's! It's sort of the same!

While reading that guide book, he whispered loudly, "The legal age is 16 years old!" Which means he can meet lots of underage boys and legally "be their friend." He also read that one of the towns is a homosexual mecca, in a way, which made him tap his feet in giddyness - or was it a pelvic thrust?



We also made our way over to the History section because he wanted to read books about Rome's history, or whatever. My favorite time in history to learn about is the Holocaust. For some strange reason I'm just so interested in everything about it. I saw Mein Kampf, so I read through it. Even the opening page was ridiculously insane. But at one point I started laughing, and Nick turned around and saw what I was reading, made a weird face and said, "Did you just laugh?!?"

Hitler thought that every young German boy should get up in the morning and engage himself in physical activity, and also another hour later in the day. He thought the best physical activity was boxing, even though most people considered it "folkish". He didn't understand why some people thought fencing was fine, but boxing was barbaric. Boxing helped young men with their sneak attacks, agility, and lightning defenses. It also helped people toughen up. Basically, it helped strengthen his army of crazies.

Oh, Hitler. I also looked at the picture above and said, "Ooh! Stalin was kind of cute!"

Anyway, Nick and I spent a while at Borders, reading sex help titles and freaking other customers out. Being creeped out by the person who rang us up. And laughing over silly things. Loves it.

Tranny Tricks on my Tranny Scooter

So, I just got back from a weekend down the cape with Seriously Bent. I don't really know where to start, but when I mentioned that earlier, Corey said, "The beginning." So I will.

It started with a car ride with Nick W. and Nick M. and Nick W's grandmother driving us to the Cape, while the rest of the gang went in Kelly's jeep. We all got there around like 5ish and met at Mashpee High so we could rehearse for our show later that night (2 am). We all ran in like an ADD camp and jumped on the stage, played with the microphones, piano, drum set, and we danced around until Trevor said, "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MICROPHONE BEFORE? CAN YOU GUYS BE QUIET!" So we did.

We went back to our personal unit of condos at the Sea Mist! We had three condos to ourselves, and it was fucking wonderful. Unit #1 was Trevor and Kaitlin w/ Jules riding side car (LITERALLY), Unit #2 was Nick M. and I (ma and pa) and Kelly, Unit #3 was Corey, Nick W. and Bryan. As soon as we got settled, I took my pants off and cuddled with Nick Mandella on the couch as we watched Will & Grace, basically living out the show.

Then the family went to dinner at "the nines" as Julia called it, but to all you normal people it's the 99 (restaurant HAS 99 REASONS YOU'LL ALWAYS COME BACK FOR MORE. 99!) We had a group of 9, so we called ahead, then went and picked up the weekend necessities (enough for about 23 people...) and then had dinner. We wolfed down popcorn, cheese and crackers, toasted raviolis, soups, ribs, steak, chicken wraps, etc etc etc.

Then we had our show at 2am, and it was the most hilarious thing just watching everyone say hi to Trevor and see how popular he is in his hometown. Everybody loves him! But everybody didn't particularly love us. I mean, it was 2am, these kids were stuck at their high school unable to get drunk and were stuck watching an improv troupe... I would have loved it, but not these people. I mean, it really wasn't that bad! We had a great show! But, a lot of stuff went over their heads... like GLBT references and such.

After that was madness. We started partying at 3:30 am, and went crazy. We made margaritas.. we had pixie fun... we drank other things, and man, I just don't know. There was NO concept of time whatsoever, it was as though time had frozen and it was just us in this separate world from everybody else. It was amazing. I don't remember a lot of the night, and I probably shouldn't document it anyway, but I do remember scissoring with Julia and trying to get people's attention, and nobody cared. So we just had a conversation as we scissored. I remember running to the pool at 7:45am with Nick Mandella, thinking everyone was there, and then we got in the hot tub and then swam laps in the pool (drunk). Then ran back to the condo through the woods (in our underwear and a wet white t-shirt) to get Jules and Kelly, and then we swam some more. Then I passed out, but apparently took a shower cause I woke up with curly hair that smelled like my shampoo and I had soapy skin.

Regardless, I woke up at 2pm not in a very good state. My husband took some care of me, making me some flat coke and staying by my side, but it didn't do much as I spent most of the day moaning, lying down and throwing up basically everything I've drank in my life.

Saturday we had a BBQ at Trevor's house and it was SO funny. His family is great, and his house is so comfy and homey, and the food was great, and the talking was great. Everything was wonderful. Particularly Trevor's dad saying, "I thought Trevor was gay. His mom and I would say 'He's gotta be gay'" and us agreeing.

Last night was another ridiculous night, but not for me cause I couldn't handle it again. So I was a bystander, and the driver to get snacks. The best part of the night (for me) was watching Nick Wilson lying on the couch with three bags of chip surrounding him and a thing of cheese dip on his stomach. He looked like a 600lb man who couldn't get out of bed and just ate all day. Except he's like 60 lbs instead of 600. Another favorite part was Nick Wilson talking about the drink Nick Mandella made, "This has the consistency of diarrhea! But it tastes like rainbows... and angel tears!"

So now I'm back. And it's funny and ridiculous how much I love these people. So so so so so damn much.

But, here is a list of what we think our autobiographies would be titled:

Nick Mandella - "A Day in the Life"
Julia Gustafson - "Sometimes You Just Can't Get It" or "I Made Them Do It"
Kelly Dooley - "I Clean When I'm Drunk" or "Follow the trail of honey mustard and you'll find Kelly Dooley's Struggles"
Patty Barrett - "The Quest for the Next Orgasm" (Corey) or "Julia Made Me Do It" (Me) or "Something To Blog About" or as Nick just said, "Pelvic Thrust: Patty Barrett"

And, finally, these are Trevor's baby hands.