Flevan.

A small piece of the hilarious fun my new pen pal sent over.

We are a family, like a giant tree...

So there's been quite a theme in my life for the past week: High school. It's been coming up in more ways than one.

From fights.. rumors.. talking about people behind their back.. and even to smaller things like randomly talking to Ferris from high school who is now in Iraq... or running into someone at Starbucks who I haven't seen since those days...

But here's a snippit of conversation from last night...

Person 1: I thought you got along well with (name)!
Person 2: I get along with him in the way that I get along with some people who have been here a long time...
Person 1: I don't get that, it's such a small place, we should all just get along.

Totally ignoring the fact that Person 1's statement was probably directed towards me (by actually not ignoring it and blogging about it...) it brought up a few thoughts...

Cliques. Theater cliques. When you decide you're going to go work for a theater, you better be equipped to deal with some drama. And it's not just me... there's been other drama. Egos... relationships... fights... etc. But, if you decide to work there and JUST work - you will not be accepted. You'll be left out. But if you work there and become a part of the theater, then get ready.

To me, it's like a family. Families fight, they never ALWAYS get along. To me, theaters are like big, incestual, close-knit, weird, crazy families. Everyone knows everything about each other. People date, people fight each other, people talk about each other, there are constant issues... and sometimes everyone gets along, but a lot of the time people do not.

So, I looked it up. I thought, "Whyyyyy is it like thisss??!?! I wish it wasn't because my SOUL HURTS." And I found an article on why teens and pre-teens get into cliques - and here's a quote I found that was so FITTING it's scary.

"Safety, for those whose self-esteem and self-confidence is still shaky, lies in fitting in and having a place to belong. Most kids find a group with whom they “click” in a healthy way. Others get swept up in a “clique” that does give them some security but at the price of their individuality and maybe even their values."

Theater people (some might call them 'actors' or even better, 'thespians' such as "the Improv Asylum thespians"...) for the most part, are the most egotistical, confident people in the world... in such a way that they are extremely batshit crazy and hate themselves. All they do is think about themselves, and how much they want people to love them and accept them. So, it makes perfect sense that we strive to fit in, belong, and gain acceptance of other people... so, there's our clique.

Some people become the queen bees & beatles (I made that up.) While others strive to be the queen bees and beatles... so they do whatever it takes. Losing themselves in the process... as the quote suggests. I've seen that happen so much.

What I find funny is that when I got to Improv Asylum 3.5 years ago... I wasn't all that confident. I was awkward... so I lost forty pounds, dyed my hair red and got into improv classes. So working there sort of helped me build a better me, so to say, and I was like, totally confident. All of a sudden I felt awesome... I was never sad.. everyday was great... I got out of bed and birds chirped and sun shined through my windows. I feel like I gained my individuality by joining a clique. I went with the flow... I didn't force myself on anyone. I took time to be accepted.. and then one day, I was the one doing the accepting.

Here's the "acceptor" job works - "Her, yes. Him, yes. Her, no! KRISTIN, Fire her!! She mis-spoke my name!!!! WHY DID THAT GIRL JUST LOOK MIKE IN THE EYE?? DOESN'T SHE KNOW NOT TO SPEAK TO THE TALENT YET?!?! GET HER OUT."

But you know, things go up and down... and in the end, we all continue to love the F out of each other... (and hate the F out of each other...)

But yeah. High school. We're all basically a bunch of teenagers. Which probably explains why we freak out when Miley Cyrus plays....


** P.s. I'm not trying to offend anyone. Most of this is a generalization... and I have a lot of these qualities. This is just me being real, this is just me Barrett'ing All - am I right Nick Mandella?

P.s.2. Kyle just said my boobs look good today. I don't know if your boobs should look good when you're at work. BUT I'LL TAKE IT! :-)

Carrie Fisher

About a year and a half ago, I read an interview in Glamour on Drew Barrymore, and it was conducted by Carrie Fisher. They had a great banter between the two of them, and it was really funny.

She said, "You need to be moved three inches to a slant where your childhood is funny. I always say, if my life weren’t funny, it would just be true—and that’s unacceptable. [Laughs.]"

Since then I thought, "That's my favorite quote ever." And it's true, because it has been in my Facebook profile ever since. Huzzah!

I love it! Even relating to childhood - like, if I dwelled on the fact that my father was kind of an alcoholic and kind of emotionally abusive and my mom was kinda depressed... then I would go absolutely insane. Luckily, I had my sister. Because I think we grew up with that frame of mind - it's got to be funny, or else it will be real. So we just made fun of it. "Oh, ha ha, Dad threw a chair at the wall because we gave ice cream sandwiches to the neighbors! Ha ha ha ha."

This comes up because I saw Carrie Fisher's one-woman show "Wishful Drinking" last night. She opened her show with that quote, so I was thrilled.

And then she went on and talked about her life. She was born into a rich, famous family with its drama and problems and drugs and craziness. She was a drug addict. She's mentally unstable. She was an alcoholic (or is). She married and had a child with a man who ended up being gay. And all these things happened... so much "tragedy". And there she stood on the stage - laughing about it. Making a BRILLIANT show out of it.

So - that's good. Very good. My life is kind of ridiculous. I'm affected constantly by family issues and feelings and genes... but if I didn't laugh about it, or talk about it jokingly, then I'd be stuck having to face reality. I certainly don't want that.

So maybe all the bullshit I go through, or put myself through, is worth it because in the end of it all, I can write a great memoir, or have a fabulous one-woman show. Which is all I ever really wanted! Someday I'll be able to premiere "Barrett All" the book! the show!

You know, I have never watched Star Wars.

Late Night Drunks

As I walked to the ATM on Friday night quite unhappy. I heard this from 3 drunk guys outside of Goody's:

Man 1: Do you have a lighter, by any chance?
Me: Sorry, I don't.
Man 1: Oh, ok thanks.
Man 2: You're pretty.
Man 1: Yeah, you are pretty.
Man 3: You look sad. You shouldn't be, you're too pretty.
Man 2: You have nice legs.
Me: Thank you.

Then I walked into the ATM.

But I really wanted to say, "Go on, drunkies! Tell me more! I realize you're drunk and probably can't even see me straight. But hearing your compliments is exactly what I need right now!"

When I left the ATM they were gone. Too bad. I'm pretty sure I would have slept with all of them.

No, no it's fine! It was just for self validation. Nothing wrong with that!

When Being You Is Kinda OK

I've noticed some things lately in my search for a better soul, that I'm kind of a bad person. I'm certainly not the worst person, but I'm definitely not the best person (to steal a quote from the great season premiere of "30 Rock" which can be seen on Hulu.com). But, a lot of my relationships are built on this fact that I'm kind of a bad person.

Last night, in great dispair and hatred for myself.. with my head down on the computer I said, "I'm a bad person." to which Jenny responded, "Yeah, but you wouldn't be as fun if you weren't." She also said something similar when I said something mean about someone and she said, "Be nice" and then said, "though it's more fun when you're not."

Jeremy has once said, "I knew I liked you when I heard you say something sarcastic and bitchy and I was like that one, I like her."

At my new job, I've made great friends... generally by being funny. But also, some, from being mean WHILE being funny.

I've complained about how I should be nicer in the past, and tons of friends have said, "No!! That's what I like about you!"

So, I don't know where I stand or what I should do. I don't know if I believe in karma or not, but I think it's a terrifying thing. It's terrifying to think all of your wrongdoings could somehow come back to bite you in the ass someday. And I've certainly had moments where I felt like that was happening.

But, on other days, and in general, I'm a good person. I care a lot, and often too much, about other people. I put everyone before myself... everyone's feelings, comfort, everything - before my own. So, I gossip every now and then and I don't like people because they're ugly, or annoying, or look snobby. I'm wondering if there's a balance somewhere. I'm equally terrible and great.

But I know one thing - I have great friends. Friends who don't care if I'm a psycho crazy bitch, or make bad decisions, or be upset for the same reasons all the time... they're OK with me and think I rock regardless. There's something great about someone putting up with you when you don't think you deserve it.

Today has been a weird day. I'm SO excited and happy and anxious... and in other ways my soul hurts a whole lot. But, maybe that's Karma's (Karma is a person now) way of getting back at me for being equally bad and good - it's making me feel equally great and terrible. Such is life.

Hello, weekend!

Toblerone's Don't Grow on Trees

Ah, the things we do to feed our creativity.

Last night was spent at what was basically a mansion in Newburyport - one that I drive by often going to my aunt's and marveled at - shooting a Halloween sketch written by Matt "Babyface" Gudernatch.

I got out of work at 5:30 - met them at 6, and we worked from 7pm to around 2:30am on the sketch. I slept 3 hours and then got right up and got back to work yet again. It's a tired, tired life. I also have house teams tonight so it's going to be another long night and I'm gon' get wicked tiwed.

But - that being said - shooting these sketches are way fun. Well, last night's sketch involved a lot of communication outside as it was a trick-or-treating sketch. Casey and I stood in the doorway while Matt begged for candy, and screamed rape, on the porch. It was about 35 degrees and pouring rain (although we were covered) but still, fucking cold. I felt like we were on the Titanic! So, that part wasn't exactly fun. But acting is fun! And professional video shoots are fun. And being with good, talented and funny people is fun.

But - it got me thinking. The sketch is about... 5-8 minutes long. It took us about 7 hours to complete. I can't even imagine what working on a movie or a sitcom must be like! All that waiting around, all that line learning and re-takes and COLD WEATHER! But then again, they've got big budgets, tons of people helping, and Kraft services. We had chili made by Mike's (the director) mom and Bisquit, his adorable dog, to keep us company.

But also I realized that I'm kind of, half-way good at doing it. I mean, I'm not the best actor in the world and I like doing improv more than learning lines... but - I don't know. It's a lot of work. But it's happy work. A work I'd be happy to wake up and go do all the time.

But, I'm so tired today. I've mentioned it like 100 times, but god, I'm tired. I have to get a flu shot. And after work, I'm going home to take a nap. I never nap. But oh boy, am I napping tonight.

Oh, and Gary Coleman is following me on Twitter... I have two people following me. Richie Moriarty, who obviously I know, and then Gary Coleman. What a strange world I live in.

A Friendly Conversation with Evan Kaufman

One of the reasons Evan is so great is because I can do cock math with him and he isn't offended, creeped out, or ashamed.

Patty (that's me): Evan, what's your shoe size? I'm not buying you shoes.
Evan: uh... 11 I think. Maybe 10 and 1/2, y?
Patty: I'm just doing math.
Evan: what kind of math?
Patty: Cool math.
Evan: seriously, what the f are you talking about? is it cock math? IT BETTER NOT BE COCK MATH.
Patty: HAHAHAHA.
Evan: how's work?
Patty: Oh, y'know.. eating jello, watching "True Life: I'm A Compulsive Shopper".... and doing cock math with my friend.
Evan: Who's your friend? Why are you doing cock math?
Patty: Because he has a formula.
Evan: Could you share it with me? I want to know how big my cock is so I can tell my cock and he can be proud! or ashaaameddddd...
Patty: okay, well the formula is you divide your shoe size by 2 and then add 2
so, 11 / 2 = 6.5 and you add 2 so 8.5
Evan: hmmmm, think that may be a little off, but for the sake of my reputation at your work place, lets go with it. you may tell everyone you know that I have an 8.5 cock.

Evan Kaufman, everybody.

Don't you all miss him?

If you'd like to pass on messages to Evan Kaufman please let me know. Do not contact him yourself. He's too busy being self-deprecating and Jewish.

Hewwo!

I'm writing a book. Someday.

I've signed up for NaNoWriMo - a month of pure book writing.

I find this awesome. I mean, I want to write a book. I have so many ideas written on post-its and stuck all over my computer. (I don't really.) But I've got thousands of ideas that I don't do anything with. I'm always like "But hey, how do I format a novel?" or "But hey, how do I put words together, huh?"

But one thing I can get on board with.. a challenge.

I'm sort of a competitive person. During my year of Seriously Bent, we performed in two improv competitions. We lost both. The first one I was like, "Eh, well, we got a free trip to Chicago!" the second one we lost by one point - and I was so into it. I was all over it. I was so excited I even tripped over a step and fell in a basement full of dust and got my nice black clothes all dirty and it all happened in front of our competitors.

Last week, when Seriously Bent was in another competition - I was all about it, and I wasn't even in it. I don't like sports though, but improv - that's a level I can work with.

So, yeah, when someone's like "Hey bitch, write a novel in a month. What!" I go "All right! Fuck you! Let's do this!" So, that's my plan.

Although all the ideas in my head - I can't find them. And also, I'm generally lazy. So, it probably won't be finished. But I can't go into it with that attitude. Dudes, I'm gonna write a novel in a month!

The prize? The sweet satisfaction of knowing you finished a novel. That might not be good enough for me. I want tangible goodies. Particularly money. Or a book deal. There isn't even any prizes, no "Best Book" no "Most Awesome Contributor" no nothing. "Everyone's a winner!"

F that S in the A.

P.s. My Google talking like Elmer Fudd (and me) gets me every time.

Friends to know, places to go!

Oh boy, I was getting sick.

I could feel it so hard. My head was warm - although I'm not sure if it meant I had a fever, because I'm under the impression you can't feel your own fever. My body ached. And my throat, oh my throat, it was closing. I could barely breathe, and coughing was happening a lot.

I tried to sleep and nope. It was *cough* *cough* *cough* *kick the bed anxiously* *drink water*. Finally, I took sleeping pills. Then I woke up at 7am hating life since I was still in a sleeping pill haze.

So I went to work begging my body not to get sick. My tooth hurts so bad, I have to get that dental procedure I'm dreading, and I can't do that if I have to keep coughing while they have a drill in my mouth. So I drank green tea. It's good, right? I drank 3 cups of green tea out of a mug that asks "ARE YOU NUTS?" Yes, mug, I am. Cause for every mug of tea I drink, I down a glass of water right after. Mr. Tooth hurts specifically when I drink cold things, so I need the warm tea to balance it out. I also ate rather healthy, just in case. And I drank an Orango Mango Naked juice packed with Vitamin C.

Today... I'm not sick. My voice is going out and I sound even more like a sexy lesbian. But I don't feel sick. I don't cough. I don't feel like my throat is closing. I think I learned the secret of saving yourself! Antioxidants! I am rich in them! Next I will solve scarlet fever.

I've been eerily content lately and I'm not UNHAPPY THAT I'M CONTENT, sister, I'm just... happy about it. Who wouldn't be happy about being happy? I've been in a serene state of mind - for the most part - and it's been good. I just pampered myself, and by that I mean I painted my toe nails green. And watched Reba. Yup, Reba.

I have Reading Rainbow in my head.

Lesbies

After saying, "I feel like I look like a lesbian today" my sister said:

"You only look like a lesbian when you're scissoring Julia or hitting on Jenny."

The Art of Awesome Weekends

This past weekend was quite possibly one of my favorite weekends ever. I didn’t go into it with that mentality but then it turned into wonderfulness throughout the entire weekend.

Why? I’ll tell you.

I saw each and every single one of my best friends. (Well, no, I didn’t SEE all of them – some I texted or conversed with…) I went out with Everett best friends in Boston and had a fun night with them. I met up with Julia Wolf Gustafson and we went to Cambridge and we drank and had a jolly old time with Nick, Kelly and Alex.

Seriously Bent Saturday was insanity – and I was happy every millisecond. I watched them perform with proud Mom eyes. It was sort of difficult to watch, because I wanted to be on stage with them SO bad… but, it was so nice to sit back and watch them fucking DOMINATE. Doing shows I always have a high, I’m just focused on doing good scene work, so I never really sit back and enjoy what’s happening on stage, I’m too busy being in show mode. So, just watching them proved how talented they really are. It’s not just cause they’re my best friends, and I was part of the group once, and I’m going to say they’re awesome regardless… they are awesome.

Oh, who am I kidding – I just want an excuse to go to Chicago! Cause now I get to go. F all dem bitches, it’s all about me! (Kidding.)

Oh, and those are my notes. "2 flip flops" was regarding the number of flip flop wearing improvisers that I encountered. Hated it. God, I'm turning into Jeremy's bitchy little improv assistant. And yes, I do have ADD and it is VERY hard for me to sit through 2 hours of improv (especially if some of it is bad... and now I'm turning into Mike's bitchy little improv assistant. I learn from the best, right?)

Hey Zeus - besides the fact I want to die in my bed for like 65 hours right now – I’m totes in a great mood. So that's what it takes to break yourself out of a rut... surround yourself with 125 of your besties.

I am a walking zombie right now. Pure death. I thought last night would be a low key, in bed by 10pm night – but I ended up getting home at 4am after another kind of hilarious night with the IA tech department. And I just like saying "tech department" even though it is only made up of Chris and Steve. I appointed myself as their entertainer and keep-them-awake girl... and boy did i cum through. Come. Come, sorry.

I’ve slept a total of 13 hours all weekend… but it was worth it.

God, I have great friends. But – do you know what sucks? Working on Columbus Day. F that S in the MF’n A.

Past My Bed Time

Last night I stayed out past my bed time and let me tell you...

I was able to fall asleep easier (literally, I was texting and took a second to think and then I fell asleep mid-text... that's like the 7th time I've done that, generally to the same person.. cause nobody else in the world is up at the UNGODLY HOUR OF 1:45 AM)

I was able to WAKE UP easier, too.

I met up with Jenny and we snuck in late to a Seriously Bent show where I laughed and cried and kept smiling at Trevor where we would laugh at other people with our eyes. There was a good crowd, too. And I was sitting in the middle of it all and I was so judgmental of everyone. Like, if someone wasn't laughing I would look at them with mean eyes... and Jenny is a good judge of my character. I said, "I'm judging everyone in the room." and she said, "I know."

Once Mike brought down some ladies to IA, and I'm very protective/judmental with Mike's ladies (cause sometimes they're crazies.. and he knows this) and Jenny just saw me look at them and said, "Patty... stop it..." from across the room. It was funny.

Anyways, so the SB show. That started at 10pm... so late! But, I was really proud of the kids. It was difficult for me because there were times were I'd be like, "OK clap out now!" or "Ahhh don't do that...." But, that's just the improviser in me. And they're so funny. I almost cried because I missed performing with them so much... I'm sappy, I know. But it was the funnest I've ever had in my life (performing with them...)

But at least I was able to be tormented by them, do bits with them, laugh with them, have Corey and Nick attack my car and open the door and scare the fucking shit out of me.

So, even though I stayed out later than I have in a while... and only slept 5 and 1/2 hours... I feel great. I also ordered 3 books on Amazon.

Except I'm not happy about the fact that Beverly Hills Chihuahua is the #1 movie in America! And I can't wait to see Jules.

Kinda cool

Remember when I did that internship last semester? I was an Editorial Assistant for Suffolk's Arts and Sciences Alumni Magazine. I was in charge of the "Students Today" section - which meant I had to go out and find 7 students currently at Suffolk who "went above and beyond the average student".

First, I picked one of my good friends Mike. (is that cheating?) He did do something worthy of recognition - I think! He started a rival news publication, which I also wrote and edited for (The Suffolk Voice). Then I asked him for someone else and he gave me two other names.

I asked former teachers, I asked department heads, and I got a list of names who spoke at some Suffolk event, and somehow by April I had interviewed some 15-20 students or so and narrowed it down to 7. Wrote tiny little articles (do you know how hard it is to write 250 words or LESS??) Arranged a photo shoot (where I had some artistic direction... basically location ideas 'overlooking the city because Boston is Suffolk's playground' and wearing black and jeans.) And here's the final product.

Not very interesting from an outside of Suffolk point of view (and maybe not even interesting for those in Suffolk) But I'm proud of my work. And I like the way it looks. And I mostly like seeing Text|Patty Barrett at the top :)

Here's the link.

I'm pages 4-5 and 6-7 (and 8-9, but I only wrote captions for those pictures.)

Kite Running Elevator

3rd Floor Elevator Guy: Kite Runner still?
Me: (not reading the kite runner and taking my headphones out) What?
3FEG: Still reading the Kite Runner?

In my head I was thinking, "What? I was never reading the Kite Runner!" but I also hate awkward moments - so I didn't want to say, "What? I was never reading the Kite Runner!" and have to ride the elevator in weirdness. So instead:

Me: Oh, nope, I'm reading Eat Pray Love.
3FEG: Ah, finished it?
Me: (Jesus Christ... really? Still on the Kite Runner?) Yup.
3FEG: Did you like it?
Me: (Ugh!) Hmm, yeah.
3FEG: I think I got through 10 pages of it and gave up.
Me: Yeah... it took me like... 2 months. (Really?)
3FEG: Oh, really? See you later.

Then he got off the elevator.

Is it weird that I lie to avoid awkward situations? That kind of lying doesn't hurt anyone, right? In the end - we were both able to go on with our days thinking that I read the Kite Runner and it was all right. As long as there's no Kite Runner bonding and inside jokes in our future, then I'm fine.

OK, fine, now I'm going to go read the Kite Runner cause I feel guilty.

Thoughts on Work

A couple of weeks ago I was going to follow my dream... or "follow my bliss" as Daniel Franco from Project Runway seasons 1 and 2 would say - and I was going to take the first steps (tiny little baby steps) into doing what I want to do for a living.

Well, I didn't.

I chose to continue to get paid.

Hello student loans! Hello trips to Vegas! (Ok, so there was one. But there could be more! Like tomorrow!)

The job I'm doing now is not really what I want to do for the rest of my life. No way, no how. But I do realize that going into the entertainment/writing/magazine industry is well... not a very smart move. But it's not like I'm going to sit around and settle with something I'm unhappy with. I'll still try... and I'll still struggle. And I'll write things and sell them on the street. I'll sell crack in books. Who the F cares.

Plus, I know that when I meet (stalk) Tina Fey, and I say, "Hi, I'm Patty." She will say, "I love you, you can come work for me!" And then I will say, "OK Tina!" and she'll go, "Great!" and then there will be an awkward moment of silence... but then we will walk. And I'll tell her all about me, and then she'll start to tell me about her and I will cut her off and say, "Shh, I know." BFFL.

But right now, at least I'm making money. So I can pay off my loans. And I can pay my bills. And I can buy expensive makeup from Benefit and Urban Decay. And I can spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on my upcoming dental procedures :(. And then I can go away again. And maybe, just maybe, live through a dying economy.

I've always wanted to know what living in the 30's was like!

Things I Obsess Over

Everything.

Besides that though - I find that I have an obsessive personality. I've always known this... since my younger days when I thought I wouldn't be able to live until I was living on the tour bus of the Backstreet Boys.

My taste has since changed.

But, I go through episodes.

This, I believe, all comes down to the fact that I'm an "Adult Child of an Alcoholic". When I was younger and going through therapy - this was pointed out to me. I had never heard about it before, but when I was handed fact sheets and brochures, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The isolation, dependency on relationships, self-deprecating, always feeling like a victim, GUILT, and the kicker - the obsessive compulsive personality. I think obsessing over things is the least of my issues - when you look at the other list of problems, but still, I obsess!

A lot of people do though, right? Like when I discovered Arrested Development - I watched it about 5 times in a row, over and over and over... learning dialogue, speaking in dialogue, laughing about it when I wasn't watching it or quoting it to my sister. Or, Saturday Night Live. Or Tina Fey. Or The Backstreet Boys. Or being in control. Or improv comedy. Or sexualness. Or whatever it is. It's weird. I've gone through so many different phases... right now I have no idea what it is. Maybe memoirs. I just finished my "Twilight" fix, and just got over a "I need to go to Vegas like every weekend I love it so much!" kick.

ACOA's have a lot of bad qualities - but I don't think I'm a bad person because of it. A lot of times I feel crazy, like I wonder why I try to please everyone but myself a lot of times, or why I feel so guilty when I get drunk and people have to take care of me or I feel like people think I'm an idiot because of it (hm, just as an example... can't think of a time that has happened recently... hmm).

Because, well, I'm a good person ultimately. And who the F cares if I watch WAY too much "30 Rock" and quote it in my sleep?

Maybe I do try to please people more than I need to, and I care too much about keeping my close relationship in tact - and yes, I do drink. And I do feel guilty afterwards... always. But it's out of my hands. I always mean well!

OK, I'm done. That's what my brain's thinking about right now. Please don't hate me... I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry....

I'm kidding, I'm not really. That was a little ACOA joke, ha ha ha I'm so funny.

Shoes, Oh my god, Shoes.

Janine came over and saw a pile of shoes next to my dresser. She said, "Oh my god, you have too many shoes. How do you find them in this?" and I said, "I usually just wear the ones on the top."

And then she took them all out of their pile, lined them all up in my empty front room and then it was all put into perspective for me.

Holy shit I have a lot of shoes. (And these aren't even all of them...)

I don't wear most of these shoes!

Some are really old. Some are new and have never been worn. Some are too high, some are too low, some make my back hurt, some make my ankle hurt, some are hideous, some are SO cute I don't even know what to wear them with.

My front room is now becoming my, "Look at what you're wasting money on" room. Also in that room lies my 5 Coach bags.

I found out two things today: I spent too much money on shoes, and I'm a girl. When did that happen?

Hell No Starbucks-O

I gave up Starbucks.

And now that I said that out loud it's going to be ten times harder to accomplish.

But, here's what I realized: I buy Starbucks once a day. Sometimes twice a day. And generally 7 days a week. My coffee costs $4. So, if I get one a day for a week straight that's $28. A month is $112. If I do that everyday for a year, that's $1,344 I spend on coffee. Do you know how many trips to Vegas I could go on for that? Like 3. But I'm actually going to take all the money I save and go on a trip to somewhere in Europe. Or I will put it towards my move to New York.

So - I will be drinking free drinks provided by my office (rasberry tea has been my drink of choice). And on the weekends, I will make my sister come home every weekend from Pittsburgh to make me tea. I can never make it as good. And I will also put $5 into my savings account everyday, to see how much I can save by not going to Starbucks.

The weird part is - I don't even love coffee. The drink I get (iced grande vanilla nonfat latte) is about 90% skim milk. I just get it out of habit. I like going to a coffee shop, and having a stop before I have to go to work. I like drinking coffee, and the boost it gives me (which, I don't even know if it does). But, I just do it because I've been doing it for so long. But, it gives me headaches when I drink too much, and it also gives me headaches when I don't have it in the morning. So, I'm breaking the habit.

When I left work yesterday it was sun showering. There was one dark cloud in the sky (that was slightly cartoonish) and a giant rainbow. So, I have hope for the world.

American with Irish Descent.

Eight years ago (creepy!), during my freshman year of high school, I had this crazy English teacher. Well, I sort of had two. First there was Mr. Falanga - and he gave up teaching during the first semester (and semesters were like 2-3 months each.) He was very nice, but didn't know how to handle students. Then, in came Mr. Bailey. Oh, Mr. Bailey. He was one of those by-the-book type of teachers. He didn't put up with bullshit, but at the same time he didn't know how to handle the bullshit either. At one point, he split me and 3 of my friends (Janine, Savage and I don't remember the 4th) into each corner of the room so we wouldn't talk. And one time, I said I missed Mr. Falanga, and he said the world famous quote, "WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?? HE BAILED ON YOU."

That was actually the second award-winning quote of a teacher yelling at me though, the winner being, "IF YOU WERE MY DAUGHTER, I WOULD KILL MYSELF." after being slapped. I'm not kidding, that did happen. In 8th grade. And it was because I was writing on the board - which was next to my desk - during his lecturing. I wasn't even that bad of a kid! Geesh. I mean, I only stole his pens ONCE. And talked back to him every chance I got. But seriously! Did that justify slapping a 12-year-old?

Anyway, the biggest lesson I learned from Mr. Bailey was through his grammatical correcting. I said, "I'm Irish." once and he said, "No, you are not. You are American with Irish descent." Which, is true. So, thanks Mr. Bailey. Wherever you are.

I have a lot of "Irish" traits though. But I don't like potatos all that much, unless mashed with garlic - and I don't like corned beef and cabbage. But! I am kinda crazy! I looked on a website today and I think being Irish is the reason for all of my problems. This very legit website - http://www.appleseeds.org/Being-Irish.htm - says that because I'm Irish:

Someone in my family is cheap (Hi, Mom!)
I am genetically incapable of keeping a secret
I'm not as funny as I think I am, but what I lack in talent I make up for in frequency.
One of my sisters is named Elizabeth (in fact, my only sister... but we don't call her that)
I have no idea how to make a long story short
I can't play basketball (See, Ev, there's a reason!)
I think I sing very well
I'm a poetic drunk. (Less poetic and more... apologetic and guilt-ridden.)

But, sadly, being Irish doesn't justify the reason I'm watching (and enjoying, might I add) the Real World Awards that is on right now. Or the reason I just finished the Twilight book series, made for 13 year olds.

Oh, and that picture above is about 3.5 years old. My hair was a brighter shade of red and I still wore a shirt that said "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!" which was later ruined due to dying my hair red and staining it with hair dye. Figures.