Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Story of a UPS run


A. Days off scare me. I don't know what to do with myself and I freak out about it. So I spent the day doing what I would have been doing at work, iming Roberto, and learning new tricks on my BlackBerry and wining and dining it.

B. I had a coat that was dying to go back to Overstock since it was preventing me from receiving $250 back into my bank account. So, I went to the UPS store in Everett and I found the seediness of the wood paneling and shades of brown kind of hilarious and hometown-y.

"At Last" by Kenny G was playing in the store. The lady came out from the back and was talking on her cell phone with a headset. She was loud and sassy and I was both frightened and amused by her.

As she processed my order she said, "Mmmhmm... I love this song. It's a beautiful song. This is Kenny G. He is a brilliant artist. Uh, when he plays that flute! It's magic!" (He plays the sax.)

I responded with the fact that he lives on Temple Street in Beacon Hill across from my old school. And she flipped out. She has plans to go and stalk him.

The rest of the conversation went like this:

UPS Lady: I like old artists better. I mean, new artists are okay, but there's just something about older artists... music you can relax and meditate to. Not like Beyonce.
Me: No?
UPS Lady: No! I don't know what it is. I just don't like her! I mean, I like the song with the ring on it - but I like it because on the tube thing, or the YouTube or whatever, I saw this Mexican guy doing it and he was dancing and it was so good!! It was so funny and he did it so much better than Beyonce. So I don't even like the song for her, I like it for that guy.
Me: Yeah, I agree.
UPS Lady: And oh, that other girl... the one who just went through all that stuff with her mother and everything -
Me: Jennifer Hudson?
UPS Lady: Yeah! Her! When I watched DreamGirls I wasn't even paying attention to Beyonce!! She can't even act!
Me: I AGREE! I was so glad when she won the Oscar because she was so good in it and she wasn't even billed on the posters.
UPS Lady: GIRL YOU DON'T EVEN KNOOOOOWWWW!!! (She starts screaming and walking back and forth)
Me: And I was pissed Beyonce got to play Etta James because I love Etta James and Jennifer Hudson should have done it.
UPS Lady: OH MY DEAR, YES!!!!!! (Slams fist on table.)

Then I paid the woman for shipping my coat, and she called me darling and told me to have a good night.

And I was glad I left the house and had a fun exchange in my hometown UPS store with the lady who hates Beyonce, watches the tube thing, thinks Kenny G plays the flute and LOVES him for it, and jams out to the song with the ring on it.

Now, I'm going to go watch What Not To Wear and plan things I'll do at a later date while I stress about things I'm not doing now.

Hoorah!

1 comment:

Betsy said...

Where the hell in Everett is that? Is that in the Watergate plaza? I don't think that should be considered Everett.

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