Monday, February 23, 2009

The Critic


I didn’t watch the Oscars because if watching all the movies that were nominated sounds too boring for me – then watching the incredibly long award show that hands out awards for these movies seems pointless.

But, my inability to watch movies is pretty ridiculous. If I don’t have ADD (which is still up in the air) then I should be able to sit for a period of time without losing interest. My problem is that I just literally can’t sit still. I’ll check my phone (and now that I have a Blackberry, this problem is only 10x worse), I’ll get up and go on the computer, I’ll get a drink, I’ll do anything I can to occupy myself.

Last night I decided to fucking sit down and watch movies. It was a rainy night and what better to do than watch a movie! (Besides go drinking, but that was out!) So, here’s my movie reviews:

Vicky Cristina Barcelona: Increible! I loved it a lot. I figured out that it’s strange that I don’t like watching movies – but for some reason, one of my new favorite genres is foreign films. Albeit, VCB isn’t technically a foreign film – but there are some definite moments where the third love of my life, Penelope Cruz, speaks Spanish. (1. Tina Fey, 2. Salma Hayek… yes these are all women. No I’m not a lesbian [also up in the air]) It’s brilliant. The views were great – I want to visit Barcelona so badly. And there are some sexy makeout scenes. I like the story. I like the movie.

Kill Bill 2: I also never really liked action movies, or scary movies (and KB2 isn’t scary, so I don’t know why I brought that up… well, it’s gory.) But, I love Quentin Tarantino movies… right down to the music and cereal brands. I like the second Kill Bill better because it’s more plot-oriented than action. There is no scene where she kills an entire mob – but she does rip out an eyeball. And the way the events of the movie are out of sequence is my favorite part of QT movies (and he is not a “cutie” so that name is ironic). And the way Bill eventually dies (the movie is called Kill Bill, btdubs) is actually kind of beautiful.

La Vie En Rose: French. Edith Piaf. Sad… prostitutes… blindness… miraculous curing of blindness… circus… singing… Tons of singing… death… morphine… more singing… knocking over juice… weird eyes… drinking!... morphine… American… singing. Loved it. Gave me nightmares… which is strange.

Every movie I watched had some sort of different language in it! It’s like I went to Spain, China and France. I’m so cultured.

The point is: I watched three movies, enjoyed them, and didn’t spontaneously combust.

Sure, I did a bit of texting, painted my nails, flipped through Self and Budget Travel magazine. But all in all – I made great strides.

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