Monday, March 30, 2009

Overheard at the Northshore Mall...

Mom: "Honey, what about these sandals?"
Probably 13-year-old Girl: No, they're ugly.
Mom: Well, look they stretch so they'll fit your fat foot!
(Girl hits mother.)

Guy: Do you want me to build you a bear?
Girl: No. I want pretzels.
Guy: Jessica! You can't get pretzels, we just had dinner.
Girl: But they SMELL good.
Guy: Fine.

Older woman in dressing room: I don't know about this store... you have to watch out for rips and holes and stuff. It doesn't last longer than a season!
Other older woman: Yeah.
Older woman 1: Oh god... oh god... this doesn't fit. I can't get it on. God, you have kids and you go up a size!
Older woman 2: Or two!
Older woman 1: Oh, I don't think I like this store anymore. I think they changed their sizes.
Older woman 2: This fits.
Older woman 1: Yeah, something's definitely different.

(and one at work, don't know why I thought this was so funny)
J: What'd you have for lunch?
V: A salad with chicken and feta cheese.
J: I love feta cheese.
V: Me too. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of feta cheese on Facebook.
J: Are you?
V: Not really. But I will be in like... 20 minutes.

and p.s. I am the worst guilt-ridden person ever. And, I just want everyone to know that I don't hate or dislike anyone for giving me shit. I do it all the time, so I can't expect to not get it back. And the person I was quoting - yeah, can be a dick. But there have been a few times where he's done nice things... like I don't know, complimented an entire outfit (except my shirt)... or, um... stopped me from crying, and doing other things... and uh, well, threatened to beat up people who are mean to me. And there was that one time... when I almost got raped... and he apparently fought with the guy and consoled me. So, you know, people aren't all that bad. And there are worse problems in the world.

Like the fact that I *just* got into United States of Tara, and now it's over. Great. Oh John Corbett, aka Aiden, I love you.

xoxo, Barrett All

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