Monday, May 11, 2009

Problematic.


I know I touched upon this last post, but now it's becoming a problem...

I can’t stop smiling and it’s the worst!

Seriously, it’s killing me. I have writer’s block because of it. I can’t even express myself clearly – often resulting in me expressing myself far too much. Eek.

I walk around the city listening to music and I just have this retarded grin on my face. Not a crazy big smile that makes people go, “What the fuck is that girl smiling at?” But sort of like, “enjoying my day” kind of smile – and people nod at me, and smile back! And the cynic part of me (which is about 97% of me) is saying, “Don’t look at me you freak” but I just continue to smile! And I wave! And say “Hi, how are you?” sometimes.

Who the hell do I think I am?

Kiley called me last night and left me a great voicemail. I was in the street and I literally LEAPT and laughed like a school girl. Then I ran upstairs to the bar and couldn’t remove the grin from my face all night. People picked up on it – and I’m pretty sure they were freaked out by my constant grinning.

Maybe it’s the fact that my play is finished and they’re in production for it and I’m so happy with the results. Maybe it’s the fact that House Teams are going so well, and the Leather Gang is at its high! Or, maybe, it’s the fact that I got on to the NXT cast, and knowing all my hard work to get there paid off! Or that Awkward Compliment got a weekly paying gig at the Somerville Theater! And my sister’s moving home for the summer! And add a new crush on top of that – and you have one happy Patty.

As opposed to the usual crabby Patty.

I’m so freaked out.

But it’s a relief. Let’s all be happy together and sing songs and hold hands.

Let’s not.

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