Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Things I've Learned in my Lifetime


While searching for Jane Fonda’s memoir “My Life So Far” – I came across a website entitled “Things I have learned in my life so far” and I got to thinking. What have I learned in my life so far?

All of it probably has to do with drinking… and even though I’ve learned the mistakes, consequences from mistakes, etc. I probably continue to do them. So we’ll wait it out, until I’m a little older.

Some things people have learned in their lifetime:

“Honesty can solve any problem” – Sure. But lying solves the problem of saving your own ass. And that’s all I really care about.

“You Kill Time, Time Kills You.” It does? That’s terrifying.

“Don’t judge people according to their appearance.” But… it’s so… fun.

“Reality is lies and balderdash and I am glad that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.” Here here! I have learned that using “balderdash” in a sentence is fun.

“Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.” I could narrow this down for you and just say, “Music fills silence” and that I’ve known forever.

“The word is ‘evolucion’ in English would be ‘evolution’.” That’s great, but what have you learned?

“Be Yourself – Judy Garland” I’m sure more people have said, “Be Yourself” than Judy Garland. Did she originate that quote?!?

My two favorites:
“Autumn Love” and “My Birthday” But… that’s not a life lesson. Those are just two words.

“There is no way to draw anything wrong” Well, not according to Julia. Have you seen her in a Modern Art wing of a museum? She’ll fight you to the death.

“Harassment is nothing personal” Oh, North End rapist! You’re not allowed to defend yourself! And if there’s any life lesson you should have learned by now, it’s that you are the worst rapist in the world.

“Happiness is a warm puppy” I want to think this is sweet, but it just sounds creepy.

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