Thursday, August 13, 2009

How to: MAKE OUT!

I came across the funniest how-to article today.

I typed “how to make” into Google, and was going to write, "how to make a silhouette" because I want to make these decorations for my room. Well, one of the first suggestions that came up was "How to make out". I mean, it must get typed into Google all the time if it’s coming up as one of the first possible options I’d type! Amazing.

“Making out is an American term that for young people, applies to kissing, sometimes for a long time and sometimes with passion.[1] Are you worried about getting it wrong the first time you try? Apart from the fact that kissing another person comes very naturally when you care for that person, there are some suggestions here to help you overcome the fear and be confident that you can get it right.”

So, how do you make out? Well, like this:

1. You get comfortable. “Go somewhere that you won't be bothered or stared at. But you shouldn't care if people stare or not. Make sure the place, time, and occasion are all right.” So… in front of an audience of 120 people is okay? Cause Evan and I gave them a show last night!
2. Take time.
3. Hold each other.
4. Lean in for the kiss!
5. Begin kissing.
6. Test the waters.
7. Open your lips.
8. Make it last. (With different instructions for boys and girls!
For girls only: Hold onto his head and slowly and lightly move your hands to the back of his head. Rub your hands through his hair and down his shirt. Grab his biceps if you feel confident and give it a squeeze while kissing him. Run fingers through his hair. If he doesn't have biceps, just pull yourself closer to him letting his hands wrap around your back a little more.

For guys only: Wrap your arms firmly around her and rub up and down her back (or lower back if she responds happily). Get to know her, and make sure it's what she wants to do before you get sexual, or put your hand up her shirt. It is a matter of respect when asking her how she feels. Never force anything!
9. Compliment your partner.
10. You can now make out without fear!

I think that sounds terrifyingly intimidating! If I were a teenager again and was reading that pre-kissing someone, I’d freak out! And there are even special tips – like having good dental hygiene and wearing deodorant, make a quick bathroom run, and if you have a lip ring – make sure it’s not slobbery!

So many rules!

Hopefully you all get to make out with someone! You can borrow someone from my circle of friends if you need someone to make out with sometimes for a long time... and sometimes with passion. Oh, and please remember: “Be aware that sometimes, making out can lead to other things. If you don't feel that you're ready, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and say no to anything that making out might lead to.”

Making out leads to babies. Or pizza.

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