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Live Blog: The NXT cook off.

Well, here we are! I'm sitting on the J. Broadway Patio waiting on Chef Passafiume and Chef Brothers to come out and present the NXT cast their 3-course meals for the great NXT cook-off! The challenge was this: two chefs, three courses, six ingredients. Chefs: Tony and Jeremy. Courses: TBD. Ingredients: balsamic vinegar (me), ketchup (Evan), spinach (Eleanor), avocado (Kirsten), nachos (Matt), chicken (Bryce), guacamole (Eleanor) and brown sugar (Scott).

Right now, Kirsten is making us tell 5 good things about this past week and one bad thing. Of course she is, she's the cheeriest. I'm afraid it's going to rain. But it's OK, because the SUMMER MIXXXXXX is on. SUMMMER MIX! Jeremy's kitchen is hot as balls and my arms look tan. Those are just facts.

FIRST COURSE:

Chef Passafiume:

Four avocados filled with a fresh and delightful pineapple guacamole, Tostitos scoops, homemade salsa served in two tomatoes. The presentation was beautiful! For someone we thought would just order pizzas for this cook off, it was quite a nice surprise. And to our surprise, it tasted delicious. The salsa was chunky and secretly spicy, but a nice kick of spice! The guacamole was really good too.

"I can't believe I'm scooping guacamole out of an avocado right now with Tostito scoops!" Matt Catanzano
"The highlight of Tony's dish is the freshness of the ingredients, the presentation, and the sweetness and freshness of the ingredients."

Ingredients used: tortilla chips, avocados, guacamole, nachos.

Rating: 25.5! (out of 5 stars, 7 judges) so, 3.5 stars

Chef Brothers:

Cheese and diced chicken in a cayenne heavy sauce, guacamole, salsa, and homemade tortilla chips. Different! Full of spice and kick and delicious! The chicken thing was my favorite.

He also sectioned off the bowls because we have a vegan and a vegitarean, aka boring people.

"The homemade chips blow my mind and can only be topped by the delicious chicken that was literally topped on them!" Matt Catanzano

Ingredients used: tortilla chips, avocados, guacamole, nachos.

Rating: 25.5 = 3.5 stars.

PRESENTATION OF THE GRADE! (by Evan Kaufman)

Tony wanted to be creative rather than put a dish in a bowl! He wanted to add his favorite fruit, pineapple, to the dish so he could share his favorite fruit with us all. Tony feels as though he should step up his game against Jeremy who is very prepared.

Jeremy says, "That was a lot of fun."

Chefs... after your first quick fire challenge, the first round... and iT'S A TIE!

Neck and necksies!

SECOND COURSE!

Jeremy: danish style meatloaf with goat cheese, a blended salad, and a toasted baguette.

Ingredients used: spinach and ketchup.

"I like that he incorporated raw food because it is a growing trend!" Eleanor
"I may have liked to actually have seen some spinach. The meatloaf was very well cooked and the goat cheese, delicious." Evan
"It was baby food." Bryce (on the salad without the baguette)
"I wouldn't mind literally taking a dip in that spinach dip, but I loathed the meatloathe." Matt Catanzano
"I think I caught up and "ketched" Jeremy not putting ketchup in his food!" Matt Catanzano

Overrall, Chef Brothers presented a really great dish! The meatloaf was a really interesting use of ketchup, and props to him for even using ketchup due to his fear of condiments (which makes my fear of eggs a little better, I think!) The goat cheese complimented the dish so well. The salad was done due to consideration for the vegans in the house (even though Eleanor did in fact try the meatloaf, she is an awful veg) and while researching vegan food, he came across it. So, I enjoyed his consideration for raw food movement and the vegans... although it wasn't my favorite thing in the world. But hey, I'm picky and I've never eaten an egg. Who am I to judge?

Evan thinks this race is tighter than a rat's vagina. Gross.

Tony, come the fuck on, we're ready for the next dish! He said it won't be ready for a while though "not an hour"... do we factor this in???

Ooh, Pretty Young Thing is on! You're such a PYT!

RATING: 3.5 stars!

Tone Loke:

First part: (we're waiting 25 minutes for part 2) sauteed spinach, sauteed mangos, sauteed onions, golden raisins, and honey roasted almonds. The kicker? "Since summer is the theme, and we talked about having sunshine as an ingredient, I put this salad into the shape of a sun!"

That one went over big with the diners. There was a big "OOOH!" How clever! Thrown in from left field and makes up for the wait!

God, it's hot in this apartment.

Ingredients used: spinach.

"All this spinach, we're all gonna get huge forearms." Matt Catanzano

FYI, I've never eaten sauteed spinach before and holy shit, it's so good. I've been missing out! The nut to fruit to spinach ratio was great.

However, what did everyone else think? Well -

"The sunshine spinach salad can only be outshone by sunshine itself. I mean, what a fun spin on spinach salad!" Matt Zatanzano.

Tony just yelled "15 MINUTES" from the kitchen! We're on like Donkey Kong! What!?

Kirsten is asking "Would you rather have eternal happiness or infinite money?"
Me: Eternal happiness.
Bryce: Eternal happiness.
Evan: Infinite money so I could have eternal happiness.

Great, negative Evan's here... following up with, "Cause how would you know you had eternal happiness because you couldn't measure it against anything if you were constantly happy?" HATE NEGATIVE EVAN! HATTTTEEEEEEEEE!!

Kirsten, "You guys want to race?" Someone's clearly bored with this cook-off.

THERE'S A RACE!

Kirsten, Scott, Matt and Bryce ran up the street and Matt won, but Scott was in the lead the whole time -- it was his sandals! Kirsten... famously lost. This is what we do. When we're bored. All the tourists thought it was the most ridiculous thing, and they actually got out of the way.

"Scott didn't leave a trace when he won our silly foot race!" Matt Catanzano

Part 2 of Course 2 --

Holy shit. This is good.

Sauteed chicken stuffed with artichokes and goat cheese and topped with a raspberry balsamic vinaigrette glaze.

Ingredients used: Ketchup (in the goat cheese/artichokes), chicken and balsamic vinegar.

The presentation was totes gorge. And it was probably the best chicken dish I've ever had.

"What a scrumptious bouquet of flavors!" Eleanor
"Tony didn't just stuff that chicken with artichoke hearts, he stuffed it with his heart." Matt Catanzano
"He removed the choke from artichoke and only left the art." Evan
"I was dazzled in the depth of the raspberry vinaigrette." Scott
"BOOM TICK! Chicken!" Kirsten

RATING: 4.5 stars!

PRESENTATION OF THE RATING!

"Tony, how did you feel about the time restraint? You served your meal in 2 halves, if you were to do it again would you get it out at the same time?" He feels at a disadvantage due to cooking at Jeremy's apartment and the one sauce pan.

"Jeremy, were you worried about the creativity of your new-age/raw offer?" He hopes not, he hopes he showed us all something new and fresh and delicious. He thought the baguette should have been used with the meatloaf as an open-faced sandwich!

Tony's theme is coming through and beating out his time issue! "Tony, you struggled to get your dishes out on time, forcing us to race up and down the streets in front of the Old North Church!"

Tony is up 1 star going into the dessert round!

GOOD LUCK CHEFS!

THIRD COURSE!

"I'd like to start off by saying I served this in a timely manner." TONY BURN!

He's got two pies for us, a mixed berry and pear pie with orange zest and nutmeg and a cinnamon crumble. Also, a considerate vegan option: a citrus salad with balsamic vinaigrette glaze.

Ingredients used: balsamic vinegar, brown sugar.

The pie was so great, it tasted like autumn - which I found very comforting. Good thing I did because Jeremy then announced, "While Tony said his theme is summer, I'm looking towards the future and thinking comfort foods and fall." Good choice, J.Broadway.

We're all eating pie, thinking about the fall and talking about Star Fox! NEVER GIVE UP! TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!

"No need for a mixed rating for Jeremy's mixed berry pie. It was "berry" delicious." Matt
"I give Jeremy's pie a 3.14. Just kidding, a 5." Evan
"Don't need to find the square root of that pie, cause I ate it so fast." Matt
"So much pressure! So much pressure!" Kirsten
"Jeremy's fall desserts didn't fall short." Scott
"Malomars are seasonal, like fruit." Eleanor (I don't really know what this quote means.)
"Jeremy's pie was the berry of my eye." Scott

Rating: 4 stars!

Oooh shittt... we're down the last hour. At least because Jeremy and I have to head to the theater for 5pm for Leather Gang rehearsal. Let's speed this up, Tone Bone!

And now, Scott and Bryce have popped their heads over the wall in Jeremy's court yard and they're singing "Row Your Boat" They're a bunch of gross idiots -- talking heads.

We also just learned that Bryce is an innie and outtie. Scott is an innie, only. "You put your finger in it and then you smell it and it smells like sumo wrestling." OK, sure.

"What's at the other end of your belly button?" "A rainbow."

Also, Scott just went through Kirsten's phone and found a "sexy picture"... it's a picture of her in a front seat of a car with cowboy boots on, showing some leg, and resting it on the glove compartment. HOT!

TONY TIME:

Mini peach pies! Peaches were boiled in brown sugar, cinnamon, apple cider vinegar and black raspberry sauce.

Ingredients used: brown sugar.

Super good! What a delightful little peach!

Eleanor: What was the origin of your dish?
Tony: Barnes and Noble.

"I don't have to mime my love for Tony's dishes." Matt
"My first meal after getting lost in a desert would be Tony's... dessert." Matt
"Tony's short cake? Nothing short of cake... tacular." Evan
"Where is Julie?" Evan
"There's no sin, oh man! In enjoying Tony's cinn-a-man." Bryce

We're discussing what the winner will win, and so far it's me giving them a bj and Kirsten giving them a handy.

Rating: 3 stars!

FINAL SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIED! TIED! TIED! TIED! TIED! TIED!

Total for Jbro: 3.5, 3.5, 4.
Total for Tone: 3.5, 4.5, 3.

11! 11! 11!

Jeremy's thoughts on his last dish: No trouble with the pie, autumnal theme to the whole meal, the designers and the diners really enjoyed the pies. People went back for multiple slices (Bryce!) Vegan option for K-bone!

Tony, once again - making us wait. His thoughts: claimed they were pies but they were unmasked as tiny peach shortcakes. People appreciated the smaller portions after eating so much pie. One of the diners thanks him for that (Bryce!)

After a day of fabulous cooking - everyone was impressed! High expectations were lowered and low expectations were highered! Our stomachs thank you both!

Now Evan's talking about poop and it's totally gross. Unnecessary.

What an end to the perfect day! A tie! And it was totally accidental.

How do they feel about the results?

Tony: I wanted to win. But I had a lot of fun. I'm not disappointed, I thought it was awesome.
Jeremy: I don't have any thoughts.

Well, folks. That was it! The NXT Cook-Off 2009.... it's OVER!

Pictures to come!

Matt's closing statements: "You'd be a fool to take off during such a delicious NXT cook off!"
"I'm a little suspicious! That everything was so delicious!"
"The NXT cook-off came to an end just as the beautifully themed seasons of summer and fall too, come to an end."

Evan's closing: "The NXT cook-off makes me want to jerk off."

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