Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Open Letter to Stephanie Meyer

Dear Stephanie Meyer, popular writer with tons of money & profitable book series:

Slow your roll.

You’re pumping out books left and right, for what? For money. You know what’s awesome? Money. But you know what else is awesome? Quality.

When I first read Twilight, I was hooked like I thought I would be. But, I read the first book and loved it, mildly enjoyed the second, got through the third, and hated the fourth. It’s like you didn’t care about what you were writing – you just wrote to get the books out and feed your audience more so they'd BUY BUY BUY. Now, you’ve got these other books coming out related to Twilight and it’s all so cheap.

Everyone compares you to J.K. Rowling, but I don’t see a comparison. Her books came out every two years when they became popular, because she wasn’t going to put out a product that she was unhappy with. She planned and worked and it was all meticulous and beautiful. You picked a place on a map, decided to base it there, then wrote out a bunch of shit about a beautiful vampire who is impossibly fast. I have friends who are cuter and more interesting than that beautiful vampire! (Eh... maybe.)

Plus, you're Mormon.

But, whatever. Do your thing. Roll around in your money and pump out these low-quality movies and TV shows because we all know how good a dick feels inside you.

Love,
Patty Barrett, unknown poor girl with big ideas!

P.s. I'm sorry Kelly.

2 comments:

Julia said...

I am deeply disturbed with the content of this blog. The reason all the Twilight's are out (so fast) because she wrote them years ago. For instance, since i started Harry Potter when Prisoners of Azkaban (3rd book) came out, all three of the first books were out. Did i think "damn JK Rowling phoned in these ones?"

no.

Since we all read Twilight after all the previous books came out, well then we had them readily available.

If the earlier readers could have only been so lucky.

The 4th book was the best, without a doubt. I would love to debate this in person.

Stephanie Meyer did a fantastic job...

You were right regarding her being Mormon.

* sorry if that came across harsh...i just need to defend all the fans! i rove you

Patty Barrett said...

hahaha, but no! The first Harry Potter was released in 1997! The last one was released in 2008! she wrote 7 books in a span of 11 years! She had the whole world mapped out.

The first Twilight was released in 2005 then a book came out every year. I didn't start reading until 2008, and I read them all so fast, but even one a year is pretty quick... so she probably wrote them in like 3 months.

But I disagree on the 4th, I just feel the 4th was anticlimactic. But, it's OK. We'll agree to disagree!

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