Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Thanks, Mom!


Last night, I went home to Everett and I saw that there was a baby picture of my sister on the fridge. And a picture of our dog. I thought, “Hey, I want a picture of ME on the fridge!” So, I went to look for the box of pictures that we had in one of our cabinets. And they were gone. So I looked through doors and found a FEW baby pictures of me – y’know, in between the BOOKS OF PICTURES FOR MY SISTER. I came to the conclusion that my mother doesn’t love me.

I found a baby picture, and I brought it to my mom and I said, “Who’s this?” and she said, “That’s you! Yeah, it’s you! Oh… no. Wait. That’s your cousin, Kerry.” SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM! Strike one.

Then I found this sheet with some information about me, like my name (Patricia Margaret Barrett), my hair color (blonde), and my eye color – which apparently my mom never looked me in the eyes because she wrote “HAZEL”. My eyes are blue. Strike two.

God, I was such a neglected child. (I couldn't have been the furthest thing from neglected.)

I realized I kind of look the same. Minus the angelic blonde hair. But, I noticed I made the same pouting face in pictures then that I do right now! And in pictures with groups of people – I’m always doing something to bring more attention to me. I’m always standing out; making some weird face or doing some elaborate pose.
Outside of pictures, I was even worse. I’ve dragged my sister across the floor by her hair (she’s five years older, btw) and thrown groceries out of a grocery cart because I was trying to nap. I’ve swiped plates off a table at Friendly’s and knocked over an umbrella stand at Dunkin Donuts. I danced my whole life, and now I do improv. I find it really interesting that who we are as children can shape who we are as adults. I’ve always been an attention whore!

As for my mother, I know she loves me. But she better step her game up, or I’m going to put another picture of me in her cigarette carton.

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