Thursday, October 29, 2009


So, Michael Jackson died four months ago – but for some reason, I’m still listening to his music all the time. It’s literally the only thing I listen to on my iPod. I always liked his music, but I was never crazy over him. And then he died, and I went batshit insane over him. But that’s very like me. To go from zero to batshit insane.

I saw “This Is It” last night and it was really cool. It was just behind-the-scenes rehearsal footage of the tour he was going to start in July. They would show songs from rehearsal to the “finished product” and by that I mean final rehearsals, considering the product wasn’t able to finish. I was totally impressed. I always thought of him as this frail psycho who had no idea what was happening in the world around him. I pictured him as a walking vegetable, basically. But, he has so much control and so much power. As soon as he walked into the room, people’s energy levels would increase ten-fold. He was incredibly hands-on and directed the shit out of EVERYTHING. He would stop a song in the middle of it because the music wasn’t right, or it was going too fast, or he wanted to change something. You could tell how passionate he was – even if you couldn’t see it in his face. Because his face was both terrifying and emotionless.

Every idea was his. The whole tour being put together was HIS baby and he had a say in everything. From lighting to sound cues, choreography to the back-up dancers who performed the choreography, from song choices to the way the sound had to sound. And he was right about everything, any time he changed something – it made it sound and look a lot better. It’s crazy.

My favorite part was how little effort it took for him to move. He was dancing like he never aged a day. He sounded the same, he danced the same, it’s hard to believe that he basically just dropped dead. I know over-medication was involved, but seriously! From all that footage, it didn’t look like anything was wrong with him except that he was a man with a plastic face. He was so aware and so present! Ugh. The movie closed with a speech from Michael given days before he died about how proud he was of everyone, and how everyone was working so hard to make his dream come alive and that he couldn’t wait to see it all go up.

That’s the saddest part. You never know what’s going to happen. Kelly said, “I could watch "Paranormal Activity" and it’s scary but you know it’s fake! I can’t watch that, because that’s real! He was there doing all that, you could be as active and healthy as possible and you can still drop dead the next day.”

Anyway, that footage is from TWO DAYS BEFORE HE DIED. TWO DAYS!!!

Ugh, MJ.

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