Monday, November 23, 2009

And... scene.

I’m so exhausted. I’m getting sick. My body is literally aching. And I can’t get a full night’s sleep without worrying, going over lines in my head, singing songs from the show or just thinking about the show in general. But, it was all worth it. The show has premiered and it is wonderful.

After the show last night, I was really sad. A good sad. I was sad the process was over because it was incredibly long and tiring, but we kept it together and worked really hard and didn’t lose any of the energy we had in the last show. (But – there’ll be another process and in the meantime I could use a tiny little creative break. Please.) But, the whole mainstage was there – and Chet and Norm – and previous directors and mainstage alum and they’ve all known me for FOUR AND A HALF YEARS. I was nervous in ways I haven’t been in months – sort of like Eminem in "8 Mile". Before I went on stage, “Lose Yourself” was just blasting in my head. (These palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy…) I didn’t feel like I had a lot to prove, but I wanted to make them all proud!

I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for four-and-a-half years. I’ve never worked so hard for anything in my life. And even though it picks me up, throws me down, makes me sick, physically hurts my bones and calls me a beast – I love it so much.

And since its Thanksgiving, I want to thank everyone who came out to the show last night. Like my parents, for going out past 8pm on a Sunday night to see their daughter make jokes about periods and child birth. Awkward Compliment who aren’t only my favorite people to work with, but my family of supporters who come to ALL my improv shows, plays and volleyball games. The Seriously Bent kids. And Mike and Kiley, of course. And well, the list goes on. But most importantly, thanks to Jeremy who has pushed me harder and harder every day for the past four years of my life. Sometimes I get caught up in the pressure – but I know that every note, every bit of direction and every time he makes me change my shoes, take off my big necklaces and stop doing handstands… it’s because he loves me and wants me to be the best I can be (and not get hurt or strangle myself accidentally). And I legitimately wouldn’t be here without him.

Doing improv, I mean, not on this Earth. I’d probably still be on the Earth. Although, I'd probably be tangled up in a section full of chairs unnoticed.

... because I fell in them.

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