Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Maybe…

I was supposed to stop drinking until December 5th, yet somehow I couldn’t even make it two days.

I hate when people stop becoming “I” and “me” and instead become “us” and “we”

I’m a little over-the-moon when people say nice things to me or about me because I’m so awful to myself.

I share too much. Way too much. But literally cannot stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

I should listen more when people tell me to “be careful”. Sorry Jeremy. When you told me to stop doing handstands against the pole at rehearsal, I didn’t stop. When you left to go to the ATM, I started up again. I missed the pole and did a front walkover and my foot got caught in a chair. Somehow, it went unnoticed and I limped away quietly.

My shyness and social anxiety is a little insane... like when Steve tries to set me up on friend dates, or I'm the first person at a restaurant where I'm meeting people so I wait in my car.

I listen to Michael Jackson a little too much.

I complain about having only guy friends... but the truth is - when I get down to it - I'm absolutely awful at being a girl. Even a "girl's night" with Kelly and Jules ends up with the boys... we can't handle it.

I’m not the least bit upset that bartenders know me by name and the drink I order. It makes me feel special.

I have my wedding planned, yet have no intention of getting married anytime soon (not even in the next decade!) because it sorta/kinda scares me.

I have more respect for people if they love and appreciate Arrested Development.

I fall in love with anyone that says anything nice to me. Even the homeless guys. Or girls. Or dogs who get excited to see me. But mainly the homeless guys.

I gave up everything for something I love to do and don’t feel that bad. But there are days, oh there are days, when I feel terrible and lonely about it, but know that won't ever stop me.


2 comments:

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