Saturday, November 28, 2009

the theme of my weekend, and how I am Daria.



I found this article written by Daria on her solution to her show getting canceled. It sounds like something I would write:

My solution to this dilemma is to weasel my way onto other MTV shows. I've set up a meeting with management to propose the following ways of undermining banishment by sneakily overstaying my welcome:

1. "Real Life: I Read Too Much": An honest, no-holds-barred examination of the pathetic life of an obsessive page-turner. Explicit paper cut footage not for the faint of heart. See how unsupervised access to the stacks of the public library led me straight to "the hard stuff": speed-reading.

2. "Fear": I am locked in a haunted house with my special guest, "The Amazing Randi." Underpaid production assistants bang on the walls while we debunk the entire notion of the paranormal, thereby ruining everyone's fun and the ratings.

3. "Dismissed": I go on a date with two hot guys. Somehow, they dismiss me.

4. "Video Music Awards 2002": I co-host with Chris Rock or Will Ferrell or someone they got at the last minute because Chris Rock or Will Ferrell dropped out. Throughout the pre-show, show, and post-show I keep using words like "Brechtian" and "allegro," which immediately alienate tens of millions of viewers around the world. Also, my outfit's non-shiny nature means I disappear into a black void.

5. "Diary": I speak directly into the camera about my feelings and thoughts as I experience my life. The camera doesn't listen to a word I say and keeps looking over my shoulder hoping someone cuter will walk in.

6. "Real World Antarctica": Seems ideal at first: I have a luxurious igloo all to myself amidst a vast and desolate landscape. I end up constantly bickering with penguins who chatter incessantly and hog the hot tub.

7. "Undressed": Oversexed, super-beautiful, skimpily-dressed teens mate and re-mate in this round robin of underage hijinks. Skip this one; there is no possible role for me here.

8. "WWF Not Tough At All": Quinn and I sit on opposite sides of the ring and trade glares. Rowdy hordes chant "cat fight, cat fight" for a while, then ask for their money back.

9. "Becoming": A team of makeup artists and hairstylists make my dream come true as I am transformed into Vaclav Havel, President of the Czech Republic.

10. "Daria Unplugged": Oh, I guess we're back to cancellation. They'll surely go for this one.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Author www.barrettall.com !
The question is removed

Anonymous said...

I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?

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