Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm about to get real girly & stupid on you --

This just in: I’m a girl.

I know, I know… hard to believe. I surround myself with guys, make awful, crude jokes and my voice is pretty deep sometimes. But, nope. I’m a member of the group who wakes up early to do their hair and meticulously match their makeup to their outfit. The group that has lady feelings and cries every now and then because of them. And most importantly to this blog post, the group that not only watches Sex and the City, but relates to a certain character. For your information, I am most definitely a Carrie. I love me a pun.

Later that day I got to thinking… and I realized that I was rooting for all the wrong people on the show and it reflects my values in life. And my values are TERRIBLE.

Throughout the entire series I rooted for Big. Oh, Big… such an asshole. He was non-committal, pretentious, selfish and a mind-fucker. He wanted Carrie, she wanted him more, he lost interest. He said, “Nope, I’m going to move to Paris” she said, “I’ll go” and he said, “Eh, okay, if you want” and she said, “I want you to want me to!” and he said, “I don’t care, do whatever you want, as long as you’re moving for you and not me.” So she broke up with him. He got married. She met Aiden. Sweet, sweet Aiden. Then Big’s marriage wasn’t working. Big saw Carrie and Aiden (sweet, sweet Aiden…) and he wanted Carrie back. He got her. They were all in an elevator and he said, “I need you Carrie” and she said, “Fuck you” and he said, “I want you Carrie” and she said, “Fuck you!” and he said, “I love you Carrie” and she said,“Fuck me.”

He cheated on his wife. His wife found out, broke her nose, and that ended the Carrie/Big affair. arrie told Aiden. Aiden left her. Carrie was sad with no Aiden (sweet, sweet Aiden…) or Big. Then, time goes by, Aiden comes back in her life and Carrie’s like, “I love you! I miss you!” and he’s like “YOU BROKE MY HEART!” then they get back together, because seriously, he got so much fucking hotter. Aiden proposed, Carrie threw up, then she said yes. Then she said she couldn’t marry him. They were ka-put. More Carrie/Big weirdness, random fucking… she met Burger, who I also loved. And he also fucked her over. Then she met the Russian. I hated him. She moved to Paris with the Russian, and Big wanted her back, she said, “YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME! YOU AND I ARE DONE. I’M HAPPY. LEAVE ME ALONE.”Then he went to Paris. Carrie fought with the Russian. Carrie was crying, Big swoops in and sweeps her off her feet. End of story. ]]

The moral of the point I’m trying to make here is this… I was always rooting for Big. I thought the way he treated Carrie (poorly) was incredibly sexy. I thought they were a good match. I thought Aiden was just too nice, too good… and honestly, that Carrie didn’t deserve him because she kind of sucks. I was happy when she cheated on Aiden with Big (that’s NOT a good reaction!) And when she got back together with Big, over and over again, I loved it.

And in my life… I’ve been with the person who was non-committal and wouldn’t even make plans with me ahead of time, or if I was the one making the plans. Everything was on his terms – and I couldn’t get enough of it. I’ve made bad choices, realized they were bad, and continued to do them anyway. And every single time it’s just with the wrong guy. The type of guy I root for in a movie or sitcom. Because I’m an idiot.

Maybe someday I'll stop being a Carrie and I'll make better decisions for myself. I need to start falling for more gay guys.

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