Thursday, December 31, 2009

resolution # 1: the asshole on the MacBook.

I'm at Starbucks. I'm a Mac user now and that's what Mac users to. They take their MacBooks to Starbucks and look busy. But, really, all I'm doing is cruising Facebook and reading blogs.

I was going to write this blog entry about the guy who is sitting next to me and how he's the biggest douche. Like, seriously, a big-ol-douche. You can hear it in his voice, he's preaching to his friends about Buddhism and he's making fun of his girlfriend for being lazy. BUT, I'm not going to write about how totally awful and douchey he is... because I'm resolving to be less of an asshole.

That's right.

I'm an asshole. I have something to say about everyone. Even the girl who just walked by in yellow corduroy pants. I mean, come on. But, ok ok. That's enough. Enough. Patty, less of an asshole. You've got to be less of an asshole.

Because you know why? Where does it get me? Saying shit about other people, where does it get you? It gets you laughs from your friends.

But... I do like that. I do like when my friends laugh at jokes that I make. Cause I'm pretty funny. I may be an asshole... but at least I'm good at it, right?

But, no. No no no. It's bad. Karma's going to come back and slap me in the face. And well based on Karma's recent visit to my life, I'm ALL SET with pissing her off again. And plus, these people are innocent. They're not doing anything wrong but living their life. And does it make me feel good about myself to see and comment on everyone else's imperfections? No-- well... yes. Yes. Yes it does.

God damnit. I can't stop being an asshole! It has all these redeeming qualities! It makes me feel better about myself AND it makes my friends laugh at my jokes! As a clinically depressed crazy person - THAT'S ALL I NEED IN LIFE.

Well... baby steps. The girl across from me has cute boots. There we go. I'm good.

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