Awkward Compliment Comedy Night!

Tonight is the inaugeral night of Awkward Compliment's new weekly show at The Somerville Theater in Davis Square.

The boring details are that it's going on every Thursday night at 8pm. It costs $10, and it's only $5 with a student id.

The cool details? We're performing every week! We get to invite special guests to perform with us (this week it's "Don't Tell Mimi" (Jonah! McFarland! Brendan! Friends!) and the one and only DAVE BOZ doing stand-up! Literally - he's the funniest stand-up I've ever seen.) And we profit from it, if only a tiny bit. But nobody gets into comedy for the money, right? Right.

We're just getting it on its feet. But I suggest coming by to see a show one Thursday night!

Man, I've mapped out my summer and it is filled to the brim with performing. That's not a bad thing - it's kind of exciting. The current round of House Teams ends soon - so I plan on taking a mini-vacation before all the craziness starts up. I'll have NXT shows Sundays & Wednesdays, House Teams on Tuesdays and AC on Thursdays.

I don't hate it.

And oh yeah, the play is starting up soon! It's a Suffolk University production, so it's at a school... for the orientation of incoming freshman... which is weird. But it was written by yours truly, directed by Jeremy Brothers and is starring really great people like Trevor Livingston, Kelly Dooley and Cavan Rogers - so, you can definitely count on it being a good show! I cannot wait to see it! If it's as funny as the read-through... then I'm going to be one happy Patty.

Shows!

Memorial Day Egg Face

Some of you probably spent your Memorial Day weekend away… having barbeques… lying on the beach… wearing white. Well, I did wear white, but I stayed home. I didn’t have a barbeque, or barbeque-related food, and I stepped nowhere near a beach.

I did nap, though. Like once a day. Well, you need a nap when you spend your entire day lying on the couch watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 while trying to beat your Brick breaker score!

But, the most fantastic part of the weekend? I’d have to say is the egg-white facial! (Maybe not the MOST fantastic part…)

Now, I’ve probably mentioned this before – but I don’t eat eggs. (And why wouldn’t I mention that!? Out of all the interesting things about me – this takes the cake.) I’ve never put an egg in my mouth, unless it was in a baked good. They kind of freak me out. And it’s not that they look gross, because sometimes they both look and smell delicious… but there’s just something about eggs that rub me the wrong way.

But I read in a blog that whipping an egg white into foam and then applying it to your face for roughly 10-15 minutes (until it hardens) does wonders for your face. So, I made my sister do it first. And when she didn’t freak out – I decided to do it, too.

I don’t know what it did – but my face is significantly softer. And I added lemon juice in it (it was an optional add-in) just in case the smell was gross. Overrall, I’m pretty happy with the results of eggs on my face, maybe someday I’ll try to eat one and reap its healthy benefits.

So… I did that. And tonight I will be at my Leather Gang show with a glow!

You should do it too! Let's all glow together!

SURPRISE!

Last week, I took off some extra time for my birthday and gave myself two long weekends in a row. It's been glorious. And Summer Fridays start this week - meaning every Friday we get out at one. And I couldn't be a happier woman.

So -- at work, I don't really have a department. I'm the Office Manager, so I'm technically part of HR, but not really. I report to the HR Manager - but I'm sort of on my own island. It's kind of nice.

On people's birthdays, each department will usually do a little something. Like when it was Roberto's birthday, the Creative department had their own little cake party. So, I took my birthday off and I was all back to the grindstone on Tuesday, sad the celebrations were over! Not thinking anything would happen for me.

Then around 4 o'clock I heard the jingling keys of a tall man walking down the hallway, which is always cause for alert for Patty here. He said, "I need your help moving some stuff out of the North End (a conference room name)" and I thought, "OK. I'm being lured into a conference room by the strongest man in the office and he needs *my* help to move stuff? Weird."

We go to the conference room and there's a big cake and plates. My first thought was, "OK, I'll bring those plates to the kitchen."

And he said, "It's ... a surprise... birthday..."

Except nobody was there to yell surprise.

Nobody.

It was just Jason and I in the conference room.

Then everyone ran in. And people sang happy birthday, and I felt weird. Then someone put one candle in the cake after everyone sang, and then I had to blow it out, and it was weird.

Then we ate cake.

And it was weird.

And that was my surprise birthday party that nobody showed up for. Luckily, people showed up for the birthday party I threw myself! Or I would be the saddest clown right now.

You Can Take the Wolf out of Wolfeboro

As you all know, my bestie Julia decided to leave good ol’ Boston behind and ship out to Wolfeboro, New Hampshire last summer and stayed through the whole year. For us here in Boston, it was devastating.

Would I say it’s probably better for all of us and has tamed us quite a bit? Yes. Well, sort of. It all changes and goes back to normal debauchery when she’s in town. But debauchery every now and then is much better than debauchery every other night or so. (Depending on how you look at it.)

Last week I wanted very few things for my birthday. I wanted time off from work (Friday afternoon and Monday off -- check!) I wanted to celebrate in a room with all my friends (private party at Goody’s -- Check!) I wanted a cute guy to show up (Check!) and I wanted Julia there! Because there is no party without Julia!

She said, “Patty, I can’t go, my truck is broken!” and I thought “No! This can’t be!” so, I thought of ways to get her here. Pay for her bus ticket? Sure. I could do that! But I thought one step up – considering I had a car and the afternoon off – I might as well just drive up to Wolfeboro and snatch her away!

Ultimately I found out that she was going to show up the whole time and surprise me (yes!) but that she actually didn’t have a means of getting here – so since I offered to pick her up… she accepted the offer!

I would love for you to read Julia’s directions for getting to her town. Snippets include:

Please buckle your seat belts and get ready for an adventurous ride 2 hours North. Please dispose of all things alcoholic and by dispose of I mean in your tummy. Once you’re all good and drunk head north on 93.

Be on the lookout for Exit 7 – if it has changed good luck!

You got this – someone give Patty a smoke right now, she needs one.

Now kids, Mama Gus knows you’re anxious but this is the home stretch here. If you hightail it you’ll be seeing me in a little over ½ hour.

Thank you for riding on the Wolfeboro Mile. Today’s temperature is drunk, the gauge reading “fun”. Hope you packed your fun-caps.

Now, this was all packed in with actual directions. Just in case, knowing the author, I decided to bring back-up, I have Google Maps on my phone and a print out from MapQuest. But, while driving I decided to throw caution to the wind and take Julia’s directions.

Sure enough – they got me there in one piece, in exactly two hours.

My reward was waiting for me in the tiniest little lake town, in a really great apartment with a lake for a back yard!

The wolf and I loaded back into the car and started our 2 hour journey back to Boston – and I was able to have all my birthday wishes come true! And yes, there was debauchery. But I wouldn’t know, I was passed out on the kitchen floor.

It was fleeting, but Gussy was back!

Come on! Come on! The House Teams are Here!

I’ve been doing improv now for FOUR YEARS. Four years! I never, ever would have thought improv would become such a huge part of my life. It’s basically the only consistent thing I’ve had going for the past four years (take or leave my unbelievable attachment to repetitive heartbreak)

Over the years as I've progressed, so have opportunities. When I first started, I took classes. And for 8-week periods I would meet the same people once a week and we’d learn. We learned how to agree, heighten, form points of view – and most importantly, take our hands out of our pockets and stop looking at our feet (whattup Level 2 Patty!)

I graduated in 2006, and in 2007 – the House Teams were formed! Then in late 2007, I joined Seriously Bent! Improv opportunities started opening up, and even though classes were over, I could continue to grow and hone my craft! Then Awkward Compliment came along, and now NXT – and well, the rest is history.

But I owe everything to the House Teams. They were there for me through it all! Bad hosting, horrible party quirk choices, Jeremy Brothers’ science project structures… I’d like to take this brief moment to pour a little beer in the street for, “Building 19” “DIHOP” “The A-Wipes” “Falcor the Destroyer” “Back Alley Grocer’s” “The Hi-5 Gang” “The Hi-5 Gang Minus Molly and With Jonah Whose Team Name I Can’t Remember” “No Mom Left Behind” and last but MOST CERTAINLY not least – “The Leather Gang”.

That being said, this House Team run really is the best. They are at the HEIGHT of their over 2-year existence and they are packed to the brim with incredible talent.

5 Reasons you should come see them?

1. The fashion – the newbies, “Sexy White Slaves” are dressed to the nines in all black. “Ghost Factory” is decked out in denim, and the Leather Gang surprisingly wears no leather, but Dibello has some pretty nice slacks.
2. If you’re tired of looking at Casey’s cute face – ladies, introduce yourselves to T.D.H. (and by “introduce yourselves” I mean “don’t”)
3. The hosting! Jeremy Brothers took on a side-kick and it’s Kiley Fitzgerald, and the two of them together equal comedy gold.
4. All three groups as a whole are fucking hilarious. You’ll enjoy every team – even the ones your friends (me!) aren’t on.
5. The Leather Gang. (It’s OK to favor your own team, right?) We’ve been together for six months, and 2 runs. I hold everyone on this team near and dear to my heart. You’re going to laugh no matter what, because we all enjoy each other so much. We execute incredibly bad improv decisions VERY well.

So I'll see you TOMORROW NIGHT AT 10!!

Griffin!

I’m dog-sitting this week and I think I’ve taken it a lot more seriously than my mom expects. And it’s making me more nervous than I thought it would!

My dog is super dependent. He’s needy and loves attention and very vocal and expressive when he’s mad or angry, or feeling too neglected. So, not having anyone in the house with him for 2 days will drive him insane. And oh yeah, my dog is 12-years-old! He acts like a puppy.

I’m not his favorite person in the world (unless I have food in my hands/I just wake up in the morning/it’s the first time he’s seen me all day) but I’ve been making sure to keep him company. I can’t decide whether he appreciates it or not.

I think he just keeps getting disappointed every time I go in the house and it’s not my mom or dad. After I walk in, he waits by the door as if, “No… this can’t be it… it cannot just be her! Where is everyone else??” And then he turns around to his fate – it’s just me, Griffin! Then he barks and lies down, sighing loudly. (I’m not kidding.)

But I’ve been feeding him, and letting him out, and I even took him on two walks. And I think it paid off because when I was sleeping last night, he came into the room and stuffed his cute little nose into my face. But to be honest, I think he thought I was my mom. And then when he realized I wasn’t, he just passed out on the floor.

I’ve decided though, that I am not ready for the responsibility of a dog! I couldn’t get one. I’d be too nervous about getting home and feeding him – and my schedule’s far too inconsistent! I can barely feed/walk/hydrate myself in a timely manner… but… I do love my dog. So much. And a major reason I couldn’t get another one is because I love Griffin too much. But maybe I’ll just clone him. And name the next one Griffin II. Like a boat.

Home Sweet Home!

Awkward Compliment, your favorite local improv troupe, is now the proud owner (without actually owning) of a 32-seat-movie-theater-style venue at the Somerville Theater in Davis Square.

I’m so fucking excited!

Our room is basically a small screening room - like the kind you’d see on an episode of Cribs, where rich parents give their kids their own mini-movie theaters. It’s got 32 seats, a stage, a projector screen, a good sound system, stage lighting, and there’s a bar! There’s also a reception area (the Museum of Bad Art) for us all to hang out in afterwards.

The GM of the theater is allowing us to use the space every Thursday night at 8 o’clock. He wanted to use the room for something new and fun – as right now he’s just screening Slumdog Millionaire in the space a few nights a week. He’s not charging us anything – and we get 70% of the door. Which, for us, is beer money. Or in our case, T.G.I.Friday’s money.

We’ll be having other acts – stand-up, improv, anything really and it’ll cost $10 (and $5 for students). The space is RIGHT next to the T – and in a fun area. We have basically everything we could EVER have asked for. We have a good space, that is already known and popular, and we’re getting paid to do improv.

I cannot wait to fail miserably at this.

But anyway, set your calendars and come to the premiere night of Awkward Compliment’s weekly showcase at The Somerville Theater in Davis Square on Thursday May 28th at 8pm!

Problematic.

I know I touched upon this last post, but now it's becoming a problem...

I can’t stop smiling and it’s the worst!

Seriously, it’s killing me. I have writer’s block because of it. I can’t even express myself clearly – often resulting in me expressing myself far too much. Eek.

I walk around the city listening to music and I just have this retarded grin on my face. Not a crazy big smile that makes people go, “What the fuck is that girl smiling at?” But sort of like, “enjoying my day” kind of smile – and people nod at me, and smile back! And the cynic part of me (which is about 97% of me) is saying, “Don’t look at me you freak” but I just continue to smile! And I wave! And say “Hi, how are you?” sometimes.

Who the hell do I think I am?

Kiley called me last night and left me a great voicemail. I was in the street and I literally LEAPT and laughed like a school girl. Then I ran upstairs to the bar and couldn’t remove the grin from my face all night. People picked up on it – and I’m pretty sure they were freaked out by my constant grinning.

Maybe it’s the fact that my play is finished and they’re in production for it and I’m so happy with the results. Maybe it’s the fact that House Teams are going so well, and the Leather Gang is at its high! Or, maybe, it’s the fact that I got on to the NXT cast, and knowing all my hard work to get there paid off! Or that Awkward Compliment got a weekly paying gig at the Somerville Theater! And my sister’s moving home for the summer! And add a new crush on top of that – and you have one happy Patty.

As opposed to the usual crabby Patty.

I’m so freaked out.

But it’s a relief. Let’s all be happy together and sing songs and hold hands.

Let’s not.

This Panera Bread... Live!

On Wednesday night I stayed out until 5:30am. Now, I have a day job, remember that. And not only a day job, but that day I had a morning dentist appointment for a filling. So I had to wake up early and get my teeth drilled while being hungover. Not the best mix. But, I made it through.

My only goal for Thursday was to go straight home after work and sit on my couch all night long. I've been out every single night so it was needed. And as I was settling into my "What Not To Wear" marathon, Jeremy called.

Jeremy: What are you doing?
Me: Watching "What Not To Wear"
Jeremy: I thought I told you to go to "This American Life... Live"
Me: Yeah, but that was like 2 weeks ago! How am I supposed to remember that?
Jeremy: GET A CALENDAR.

After some more refusing, and then more prodding, I ended up driving into the city to meet the kids.

We took the green line to Kenmore, worked our way through hundreds of Red Sox fans, and somehow made it to the theater. It was sold out. And unlike Jeremy, we couldn't see anyone sitting around selling tickets to it. Nor did we really look that hard. But - we never did get to see it.

Our adventure night turned into the 3 of us sitting in Panera for roughly 3 hours. Talkin' bout things -- our lives, our careers, our future, improv, jet packs, etc. while Kelly consumed more food than everyone in the establishment combined. Which was funny, coming from the girl who said the previous night, "I'm getting a Rum and Diet coke, I need to watch my calorie intake. My ass is getting huge!"

If you've seen Kelly, you'll find that statement hilarious. And if her ass is getting huge, well then, it's only making her more hot!

So, I'm sorry Jeremy. I didn't get to see it and make my blog more interesting with tears and laughter of joy and sadness. But - I did have a nice night with Nick and Kelly that didn't involve alcohol or bad decisions. Proud?

Also, while sitting there talking... I couldn't stop thinking of how happy I've been lately. Wilson was talking about his depression, and the different ways we react/deal with our depression, and even though the subject was negative, it was raining out, the humidity was ruining everything, and I kept being ridiculed -- nothing could get me down. My inner self was glowing like a Cullen on a sunny day (TWILIGHT REFERENCE! TAKE IT!) That's really... weird. Strange. Offputting.

Give it a week.

Dear Old Me,

So you know ask you those questions like, “What would you tell your former self if given the chance?” And I could probably name 1,000 things to say to old Patty. Even more than that! 2,000!

Here’s my letter to the former me around the age of… I don’t know, 17:

Dear Patty,

Do you like being called Patty now? Is it working out for you? Good. It will stick in the long run. Soon, everyone will be calling you Patty.

You’re going to have a gmail account.

And you’ll join Myspace and Facebook and Twitter... I know, the names are crazy - but they're a lot better than AOL chatrooms.

Backstreet Boys will re-unite, but it won’t be any good. You’ll enjoy it, for what it is, but it’ll pass in like… two weeks.

Put on some jeans. Just fucking do it.

You’re going to meet a woman, and she’s going to be solely responsible for the best and worst moments of your life. She will influence you to do terrible, awful things… and you’re going to love her so much. But no, you’re not a lesbian. But you’re going to spend a lot of time defending that fact.


On that note, you will spend a lot of time with gay people. A LOT.


You will get in to comedy, but when you really get into it – your goal won’t be to end up on SNL anymore. And it’s nicer that way.


You’ll read a book titled “Frenemies” and your friend Evan will HATE it.


You’ll kiss all your friends, and it won’t be weird or awkward. Well, at least not always.

Your hair will be red; you’ll wear black Chanel frames; you’ll try sushi and hate it; you’ll love all your jobs; you’ll become one of the boys; you’ll go to Vegas twice in 4 months; Griffin’s still cute; and watch out, because you’re going to get clumsier and clumsier as time goes on.



But guess what Pattycakes? Life’s great on the 23-years side of life.

Any questions?

Xoxo, Barrett All (oh yeah, you’ll start a blog… it’s called Barrett All, PUNS!)

Patty Barrett, author.

So… I wrote a play.

I feel as though I can finally say that because all my input is basically complete – and the script is more or less finished – albeit a few minor tweaks. I wrote a play!

Jenny Gibbs came up with the concept to Suffolk and then she and the Performing Arts Office approached me about writing it for them and I was more than happy to oblige.

I love it so much, mainly because there are so many times when you’re hanging out with your friends and you think, “There should be a movie about us.” Or, “We should write a book about all of our stories.” At least that’s what Seriously Bent should do. So, when I was writing, I got to take all those stories and experiences (and weird character traits) and turn them into a story.

And it works. And last night was the first read through with the cast, and I was literally in tears from laughing so hard. Sure, I was laughing at my own words… words that I wrote… words that I had been reading and re-writing for months. But, hearing them all read the lines out loud – even BETTER than I ever would have thought… well, it was probably the happiest and most rewarding feeling I’ve ever felt.

And it only reinforced the fact that my friends (including ones not in the play, or written about in the play) are the funniest people I know.

Oh, and also, that despite the fact that I was approached about doing STEW (thanks Jenny!) and it sort of fell into my lap – good things just happen if you just fucking do it.

Yesterday was a very good day.

This has been a very good year.

I Ain't Scared of No Ghost (Kinda)

I walk a fine line between loving being scared, and absolutely despising it.

For example, there are times when I think it’s funny working down at the theater and hearing noises (that don’t involve mouse squeaks or rat squeals) of walking, running, bottles falling, old-timey music playing through the walls, whispers… it’s terrifying, but fun at the same time. Even more fun when you decide to name the ghost Madge and make friends with her.

Recently, Steve sent me a list of haunted places in Massachusetts. Some of them are ridiculous – or off-limits (like boarded up hospitals, mental institutions, old schools) and some of them are just open areas like graveyards or streets or alleys.

We decided to go to one of the spots, Penny Lane in Malden, and see if we could see anything. The story goes that a little boy was hit by a truck on the alley. Supposedly, you can see the ghost of the little boy underneath a sign, and you can see the headlights of the truck behind you.

So, at 3:30 AM a couple of weeks ago – we drove out to Penny Lane. It’s this weird little lane next to a forest across from Rain night club and Town Line bowling. So, I turn up and immediately get freaked out. There’s a little bit of light from street lights – but the main source of light comes from Broadway. And while we didn’t see a little boy under a sign, we did see 2 bright headlights in the rear view mirror. I got freaked out (because it looks exactly like truck headlights) but it was just the street lights from down the street. Bummer.

But it’s still the freakiest thing. Once you pass a certain point, there’s NO light in the rear view mirror and it’s just pitch black. All the houses are either boarded up, or have no house lights on, and there are 1,000 potholes on the street. You have to drive very slowly so you don’t pop a tire, and you can hear movement in the forest next to you, and it’s dark and I almost had a heart attack.

We returned last night around 11pm, so much earlier and people were still awake. But, there was a random, rusty, old box on the side of the road… which was freaky. And I definitely heard something running in the forest. Could have been a deer, but maybe it was a little boy! I still got really freaked out.

I hate it and I love it so much. Like, as much as I was TERRIFIED when the green room door decided to LOCK on me (despite the fact it couldn’t even CLOSE at that point) or when Mike’s head shot fell off the wall and everything behind the bar crashed to the ground… it’s still one of the greatest stories and coolest feelings.

But don’t ask me to watch a scary movie. I can’t even take a shower without thinking someone’s going to kill me as soon as I close my eyes to wash shampoo out of my hair. Eek.

Throwback Friday: "Duh, it was his 50th birthday!"

As a child, my #1 fashion icon was Alicia Silverstone, or more just Cher Harowitz. I watched Clueless over and over and over and would wear berets and overrall jumpers and knee highs and plaid skirts with long white shirts hoping that I could be her. I never did become her...

But hearing this song, especially the intro, always makes me really happy.

Happy Friday.

Gotta Have Some Fun, Show Ya How It's Done

I opted not to go out post-show with the boys in favor of going home, taking a shower, maybe getting some writing done, and sleeping. I did shower and I did sleep… until I woke up at 6am sick out of my mind. I had no good reason for being that nauseous – considering Monday and Thursday were my hungover days at work. But, it’s always better going into the office knowing you have to get through the day – but it’s the last day you have to get through.

I’m performing in my third show in three days. I love shows! (And I love that my life, and all my decisions about said life, is based on improv. Could I take on that new job and still perform at night? Maybe not? Then no.)

I sent in my (probably not) final draft for the play I wrote and its first read-through is on Monday. It’s been cast, written – and now it just needs to be acted! It’s going up next month and I can’t wait to see what Jeremy does to make it happen. And the fact that Trevor, Kelly and good friends are in is just icing on the STEW. (Because the show’s called “STEW and the City” – God, I’m funny. Er, no.)

A co-worker keeps asking me why he’s getting no mail stuffed in his box. He keeps saying things like, “Well, I’m not gonna mention any names, but the former Office Manager would give me random mail!” So today, I put all the extra mail I’d usually recycle in his box, along with a glove, a giant dictionary, and a screwdriver. Take that for heightening.

Also, Judah Friedlander is following me on Twitter. I wasn't following him. How did he find me?!? I'm a curious cat...

There’s probably going to be some great episodes of Sabrina and Boy Meets World on T.G.I.F tonight, for sure! And only one day left until SNICK!

AH, Friday! I want to make out with you so hard.