Monday, April 19, 2010

Sick. And Tired.

"I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired."

I'm physically tired. Exhausted. My body can't move. I'm limping. I'm aching. My eyes are bloodshot. I look exactly like I did yesterday. Except more gross. I'm tired. In every sense of the word... tired.

Tired of working.

Tired of waking up at the same time every morning and doing the same thing.

Tired of controlling every little aspect of my life.

Tired of trying.

Tired of caring.

Tired of having the same bullshit conversation for years. Four years.

Tired of forcing something that doesn't exist to exist.

Tired of no payback.

Tired of this headache.

Tired of talking about it, thinking about it, living with it, accepting it.

Tired of getting older when all I want to do is get younger and watch Arthur on PBS.

And Carmen Sandiego.

Where in the world is she? I don't know. I'm tired of trying to find you.

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