Friday, July 16, 2010

Much Needed Weekend!

I’ve been through the ringer this year and this week has been beating the shit out of me. And it shouldn’t be – but when I think about that, it sucks even more. Here’s an equation!

Horrible Feeling + Yelling At Myself For Feeling Horrible Feeling= ONE GIANT MESS.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m strong and capable and awesome and great. Because I really don’t feel that way. I feel like I’m the dirt that collects on a piece of shit at the bottom of a shoe. I’m just emotionally drained. It happens every once in a while, and I pull myself out of it, but man it’s tough.

I realized this week that time can heal all wounds. But wounds just open up again! And you can repeatedly get hurt in the same wound over and over.

And over.

And time, aging, maturity… has no affect on it. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, there are some things you’ll always be stupid at.

And I mean! I don’t ask for much! Only for you to understand what I’m trying to tell you without me actually communicating it! Or constant attention! IS THAT TOO MUCH? IS IT?!?

But the good news is, it’s the weekend. It’s Kiley’s birthday. There’s no rehearsal so there are so many hours I get to spend doing things and being with my friends & realizing that whatever I just wrote in this blog entry is ridiculous and pathetic! So until then!

Have a good weekend.
And thanks for listening.
And look at my crazy tan line!
(and freckle invasion!)

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