Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I, Laughbot.

Yesterday during work, a co-worker who I’m pretty friendly with and who I joke around with all the time starting talking about a real situation I was having. He was being super nice and supportive and I was super appreciative, but I didn’t know how to deal with it.

So I dealt with it the way I deal with everything… jokes!

What is wrong with me? I have such a hard time being real with people. I think it’s partly because I’m just an uncomfortable person in general. But I hate that I base nearly every conversation I have on bits. Never mind conversations, relationships in general! There are probably 20 people I could name off the top of my head that I don’t know anything about who they are, but I share a joke with them. And every time we see each other, we go “Hey what’s up! Bit! Bit! Bit!” Then awkward pause. Then awkwardly walk away.

And I love bits. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all improvisers do. But I actually do consider some of them my best friends and know personal information about their lives, and have real conversations with them. But people who only do bits annoy me. And I’m one of those people. Therefore, I annoy myself.

There’s a Tina Fey quote (oh, brother…) that says, “I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.” And that’s exactly what I do. I know people will like me if I make them laugh. So, I know I can form relationships with people simply by being funny. But they’re not substantial ones. I need to work on being a real human being.

Laughbot3000, out.

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