Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm Doing Me.

Last year I made the decision to blog with reckless abandon. And I'm glad I did. For the most part, I posted every single day, whether I had anything to write or not, and it truly made me a better writer.

There are days where I am trying to post and I think, "Damn girl, who you writing this for? Ain't nobody reading this thing!"  {my inner self is very, very sassy} and then I get discouraged. But, I can't control whether people want to read what I'm writing or not. The fact of the matter is I do it because I like it. And because when I don't, Casey texts me and yells at me.

My blog is my corner of the world where I can post pictures of things I saw throughout the internet that made me happy for no other reason than it made me happy. My blog doesn't ever say, "No, you can't blog right now." My blog doesn't give me notes. When writing my blog, I don't have to write for anyone else. I don't have to think of plots, story lines, endings. And man, endings can be so challenging. I can be funny. I can be serious. I don't have to compete for stage time or get upset because someone else gets to post more than me.  I'm my own boss. I can document shows, inside jokes, pictures of my friends doing stupid things, haircuts, certain thoughts I was thinking certain days. And, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

It's so freeing!

The one thing I learned from 2010 {among many, many things}is to stop trying to please everyone else, to stop comparing myself to others and to stop trying to prove myself. {That was three things.} I think that's a general rule for life. I may never be as successful a blogger as some of the blogs I read, I may never get taken on to a cast I want to get on, I may not do as wonderful a job at my day job as the person before me or the person they expect me to be, I may never be more than a friend and I may get dropped as a friend sometimes for no rhyme or reason. But... that's fine and that should never stop anyone from doing something. At the end of the day, I still have a blog that I'm proud of, I perform several times a week with people that I adore, I enjoy going to work every day, there are other fish in the sea and for every friend I lose - I have 5 more behind me. {Not that I lose a lot of friends...}

Basically, next time I blog and I ask "Ugh, what am I doing?" I'm going to respond to myself with this: "Oh yeah, that's right, I'm doing me. I'm doing me. I'm livin' life right now and this is what imma do until it's over. Til it's over. But! It's far from over." {thanks to Drake for the lyrics.}

How was my motivational speech? I decided the other night, in an Advil PM-induced coma, that I wanted to be a motivational speaker. I'll take a motivational blogger, for now.


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