Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Marcia, Jan or Cindy?

I was eating food the other day with my friend when he told me he was a middle child. OF COURSE HE WAS A MIDDLE CHILD. It made so much sense to me! And I told him that. And he was like, "What?" and I was like, "Huh?" And he was like, "What does that mean?" And then I explained Middle Child Syndrome (Jan Brady-syndrome), and he didn't know what I was talking about and had never watched a single episode of "The Brady Bunch" which is just fucking insane, but anyway. He fits the mold of a middle child almost perfectly. And I've known him for like a month, so, yeah... I'd say I know it all.

I mean, not even "A Very Brady Sequel"? That is arguably the best Brady Bunch movie, and one of my favorite movies ever. Maybe. I digress.

I, on the other hand, am very much a youngest child. I'm spoiled, creative, outgoing and pretty helpless. Like, really bad at doing things without being pointed in the right direction. I mean really bad. This is what a random website tells me I am, and I agree! I'm a comedian!
More adventurous. Last born or youngest children are more likely to be “loose cannons”, according to an article in Time magazine (“The Power of Birth Order”, Oct 29, 2007). Youngest children are more likely to be an artist, entrepreneur or adventurer – and more likely to participate in physically risky sports.
Funnier. Last born children are more likely to be comedians or satirists. They’ll be outrageous or funny as a power strategy in the family.
More agreeable. Younger children tend to get along in the world better – a trait known as “agreeableness” in the Big Five Personality Traits. Compared to first born children, last borns are less likely to provoke people.
My sister is the oldest! We're the only two. So we have no middle children to worry about. Older children are known to be smarter, better educated, make more money and the favorite. They are the "protectors." Well, she is better-educated, she is a lawyer, makes more money than I do and, she'll contest this, but she's the favorite.

So, now that I've wasted your time with nerd facts, who are you? Marcia? Jan? Cindy? Alice? Sam the Butcher? And while we're at it, watch "A Very Brady Sequel." You idiots.

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