Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A Change Is Gonna Come

This week, I was sitting on the porch, letting my franks bask in the sun when I said, “Is it just me, or does it feel like January and February didn’t happen?” 

I was GROSS this winter. God awful. I’m aware that “winter blues” and “seasonal affective disorder" are things (mainly because I work with this trash bag, Rachel, who constantly complains about it), but this is the first time I really felt it. I had given up all hope that my life was going to get better and succumbed to this constant depression. Looking back, I can for sure pinpoint some bad days (co-worker getting laid off, several bad hair days, that one AC show in Lowell) and some great days (Galentine's Day, dino-ing people's drinks, that one AC show in Lowell) but at the time, nothing felt good and everything was terrible.

If I wasn't at work, or shows, I was home in my bed, completely unable to muster the energy to do anything that didn't involve Muppets, Dick van Dyke or feeling sorry for myself. I was consistently overwhelmed and the number of naps I took increased by... 5.  There was nothing technically going on in my life that would make me feel that way (except for the fact that I was so busy!) I tried to keep it as quiet as possible - but my dumb face tends to give everything away. So I wasn't the most fun person to be around.

But who cares! Now it’s over! My postpartum depression is over! (I wish I had that excuse.) (Not really.) Spring is here. I’m hopeful. And... I don't know if you know this, but it's been a long time coming, but I know, I know, a change is gonna come. And, hey... guys... it gets better.

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