Wednesday, March 28, 2012

New Dawn, New Day.


I did something crazy... I quit my full-time job.

I sorta feel like I'm walking around with a giant "CRAZY" sign over my head... but I know that, ultimately, I made the right choice. I've been working in that job for the past four years. That's a long time. A really long time. But at the end of the day, it just wasn't for me. I stayed so long because I liked the company and the people. I never truly hated getting out of bed and going there. But,  I was wasting away sitting in a really uncomfortable desk chair doing work that I didn't feel satisfied by at the end of the day. 

I had to make a decision. I could sit at a desk and wait for my life to start... or I could just start it. I chose to focus on my career, while I'm young and single and selfish. I can finally do all the things I've been saying, "I'll do that someday, when I get around to it." I'm terrified. I'm scared to death. But, I'm going to land on my feet. Because that's what I do. That's what I have to do!

Recently, a good friend called me fearless. While it was sweet, I was shocked. How in the world am I fearless? I'm afraid to be the first person to SHOW UP somewhere when I'm meeting someone! I'm afraid of going to restaurants or bars alone. I'm afraid of going to a tailor. {Seriously. That's true. I have no idea why.} I felt stupid receiving that compliment because I felt like I was living a lie! A LIE!

But, then again, I do improv. I go out on a stage with nothing in my brain and I make something out of nothing every single night. It's not always the best, but it always gets done. And there are certainly other things I do in my personal life that I'm afraid and nervous for, but they end up working out AWESOMELY. So... why shouldn't I apply that to my professional life? Why shouldn't I take a risk, take a chance and break away? (Thanks, Kelly Clarkson!)

I might fall on my ass. I might struggle. I know that I will struggle. And I'm incredibly afraid. But as my wonderful friend DiBello so eloquently put it when I told him... "FUCK THE FEAR."

Fuck it! Right in the A.

2 comments:

Lindsay said...

Wow! I can't believe you did it! I know you were thinking about it, but good for you for embracing the crazy sign above your head. Tina would be proud!

~L

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