Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Brave, Not the Movie.

{brave writing.}
 
I am, in the words of Chucky Finster, a "scaredy-cat."  I'm god darn afraid of everything.  I don't like social interactions with people I don't know, I hate rats and centipedes, I hate being the first person to show up somewhere, I'm afraid of being vulnerable and putting myself out there... so, basically, rejection.  

But, then I think of all the times I was brave and how HUGE the pay off was.  All the times my life actually changed for the better because I did something WAY out of my comfort zone and just went for it.  Even when I was rejected!  And I have been.  But, I wonder why I'm so afraid to try something new when it always works out.  Maybe not the way I wanted it to... but it still works out.  

I applied to college and I moved away, even though I was terrified.  I was so dependent on my parents and friends.  I learned to live alone and meet people and grow a little bit.  I moved home and out again, repeatedly, but for four years I've lived alone and I have grown up tremendously.  

I took an improv class to come out of my shell.  And well, look where it has lead me.  To heroin.  Just kidding.  I never, ever thought I'd be doing it for a living.  And now I am.  I'm writing, I'm performing, I'm teaching five days a week and sometimes more.  It is my job.  
 
I applied for a full-time job and I spent four awesome years learning a lot of different ropes and skill sets.  (And I applied for a few that I did not get and learned from the experience.)  

I've wrote a play, even though the idea seemed ridiculous and huge.  How was I ever going to write a whole play?  How would I ever manage my time and get it done and have it be good enough to show to people?  But, with the help of Jeremy, I did it.  And it was awesome and still one of the coolest things I've ever done.  

I joined Awkward Compliment when I didn't think I needed to and didn't really want to... and I have six of the best friends in the world because of it.  

I've accepted invitations for dates and even asked out a few guys of my own, and that's some scary shit.  But, when you put yourself out there more often, it gets easier and easier and it's not so bad.  Even when people are horrible and even when people say no, it's fun to be in a scary situation.  (And I've had a whole lot of fun because of it and got to know some really awesome guys.)  (And I've had a whole lot of, "Oh god, why did I do that?" too.)

Being brave is terrifying and fun and exhilarating.  We should do it more often!

1 comment:

-j said...

I loved reading this post and what great advice! It is scary to put yourself out there, but the rewards are many. :)

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