Tuesday, February 12, 2013

These Two.

in this post, "Matt" will be played by Ryan Gosling.

I have two friends who don't live here.  They're my best friends in the whole world.  You know why?  I like them.  And they like me.  And they laugh at my jokes and I laugh at theirs.  And when anyone ever says anything about them (even if it's a joke), I get defensive.  Real defensive.  Almost embarrassingly defensive.  (YEA, I KNOW CASEY HAS THUMB RINGS FROM PACSUN, WHY CAN'T YOU LET HIM BE HIMSELF? OH, YOU WERE KIDDING?  WHATEVER.) And any time anyone ever says anything about me, well good luck to them... because these two have my back. (Matt probably does more, like physically.  He'd fight someone. Casey definitely has my back emotionally, though. He'll pat it.  Pat my back.) 

I like them so much that I keep a giant frame filled with several professional photographs of them in my living room.  Sometimes boys come over and they're like, "Uh..." and I say, "Yeah?" and they're like, "Who are these guys?"  And I go, "Don't worry about them."  And they say, "Why does that one have such a baby face?" And I say "Rosacea" and then he says, "Why is that other one so handsome but why is his hair so gray?" and I say, "Rosacea."  And then the conversation is over.  

They got me a huge owl one time.  It was funny and I cannot bring myself to get rid of it even though it doesn't fit with the aesthetic of my room.  Actually, who am I kidding?  The aesthetic of my room is "Michael Jackson" which means anything creepy belongs in there. 

When they lived here, they saw me through some dark days... and got me through them with bottles of wine and hiding my keys so I wouldn't drive home in the snow.  Also, they're really fun to do improv scenes with. 

Sometimes I text Casey and say, "My kidneys hurt" and he just says, "Drink water!!!!" and then we're done.  Or sometimes we text each other out of the blue to tell each other how much we love each other... because we do, and we're drunk, and we do.  We're also the only two people who think we're funny.  And sometimes I text Matt and tell him that I love him and he sends me back cute pictures of his cats and his girlfriend and him and I get jealous and sad because I love his cats... and his girlfriend... and him too, I guess.

These two are a good two.  And I can't wait until I live SECONDS from them so we can hang out, get too drunk and not let me drive home ALL THE TIME.  

That's all.  It's Valentine's Day this week... and I love them!!!! 

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