Thursday, March 14, 2013

Around the Corner

Last year, around this time, I quit my day job.  It was a very hard decision.  I loved where I worked!  I knew that I'd never find a better fit.  But, as much as I loved the people... and the company and the freedom I had and how great they were to me... I wasn't doing what I loved.  And I decided to go with my gut and follow my dreams. 

My dream was to work in the basement of a CVS!

Just kidding.  But, I wanted to pursue comedy in every possible way.  I started teaching more, performing more, directing more... I had more freedom and availability were anything to come my way.  Not much did, other than the usual night stuff, but that was okay.  I quickly got used to spending my days with myself and doing what I wanted during the day because I sure as hell couldn't relax like that on the weekends or at night, when everyone else gets to relax. 

Financially, it's a mess.  I don't make nearly enough money and I struggle a whole lot.  Some months I just have to choose health insurance, rent, student loans and my cell phone over basic things like heat.  (And yes, sometimes I buy a lot of drinks or impulse buy a skirt, but I'm getting better.)  But, I don't regret my decision.  I still love my old company, but I know that I chose what was right for me. 

In a way, I accomplished all the goals I wanted to in the past year.  I found goals like "direct a house team" and "direct upper levels in the training center/a grad show" and "pick up freelance copywriting projects" being crossed off my list quickly.  And now, I wonder, what's next? 

I'm happy.  Very happy!  I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left and I'm worried about how content I am.  I'm dating someone great, I have an awesome job and I found the perfect hair stylist.  That's the dream, right?  I never would have thought all of this was just around the corner.  I just sort of took it day by day and when I reflect back, it's very exciting!  The things that happen right before our eyes is exciting.  The things that happen when we take risks or struggle is awesome. 

I've been in rough places before and I've felt that desperate sense that nothing was ever going to improve.  But sometimes, it just does without us knowing.  And sometimes it does with a lot of hard work and we find ourselves in better places we ever imagined!  There's something around the corner for all of us, we're just taking our god damn time turning it! 

I'm excited for what's coming up this year.  Maybe I'm too positive, but I think we're all gonna be just fine. 

Did you catch the "Gangsta's Paradise" reference in this post?  God, I hope so.  I mean, it's pretty obvious.  But if you don't know the song, you probably think I'm a crazy person.  And I'm okay with that!

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