There's a big problem with the life and career I've chosen for myself... it's that it seems like the career choice for a social, outgoing girl.
I have come to find out that I hate being social and outgoing. When I was in high school, I used to go home after every school day and usually one of my friends would come with me and stay over for a while. During the weekends, my friends and I barely ever went out. We certainly weren't going out and partying all the time, but we had a lot of sleepovers and late-night hang outs at my house.
I've always been a home body and when I went to college, I thought it was a problem. I thought I had to be going out more and doing more things and making more friends and showing face all over the place. Because of that, I would often go out to clubs I had no business being in and having creepy older men grind up on me. I wish I had a picture of my "clubbing" days... you've never seen a more out-of-place human anywhere! I wore PROFESSIONAL WORK PANTS. I wore no nonsense black slacks to a god damn club!
But, even still, I'm glad that I did try and I'm glad I made friends. Sure, I'm not friends with any of those people today... but, well, BLACK SLACKS. (We were very different people. All of us.) To this day, nothing makes me happier than being in the comfort of my own home. I love bumming around in my comfiest clothes (which right now is the most perfect sweater and a great pair of leggings from Target) and just being myself... by myself. (Or with my boyfriend. But he's all right. He lets me be me... slash he's usually sleeping. No matter the time of day.)
I'm getting older now and with age I've realized it's all about balance. If I go out on Thursday night, then Friday night I'm more apt to go home after work and relax. I have an easier time "winding down" after a show by myself. Every now and then, I just like doing my own thing. I don't feel the need to force myself out with other people when I don't want to. I'm useless in those situations! All I can think about is taking my shoes off and staring at my pores while I brush my teeth and watching yet another episode of "New Girl" because YES, I love that show and when I'm alone, I don't have to pretend that I don't. (Not that I really do that. I just don't publicize it. There's no need for publicizing.)
I still enjoy hanging out and socializing with other people. I do it all the time, I have standing dates each week with certain friends and you can find me any Thursday/Friday/Saturday night in the same location every week, drinking a drink. I love my friends and I love being around them and doing bits and having fun! But, at heart, I'm an introverted gal who requires a whole lot of alone time. A lot of it. And it makes it a whole lot easier for me to feel fun and outgoing when I actually do go out.
I encourage everyone to recognize their full potential... even if their full potential is in their bed. And not in the sexy way. And now I leave you... and the image I leave behind is one of a woman lying in her bed with a passed out boyfriend to her right and a cat on her chest and an episode of "New Girl" playing on her iPad mini with various tabs open on her computer. Ah, that's love.