Friday, November 8, 2013

You'll Never Be Ready

Last week, I made the official decision to move to Los Angeles in early 2014. 

The truth is... I'm totally broke.  I don't have an easily transferrable job.  I have to start from the bottom up again.  But the other truth is: I don't care.  I don't care.  I'm excited.

I kept putting it off and telling myself I wasn't ready and I had to be in a certain place before I moved.  But, I've started to realize that I'll NEVER be ready.  If my standards for being "ready" meant that I had to have all of my ducks in a row - well, then that's impossible... because I don't think I'll ever have my ducks in a row.  They are forever roaming free.

Right now, I love my job and I'm "living the dream".  But I'm really living ONE dream and I have a lot of other dreams.  In college, I set my sights on the mainstage and two and a half years ago, that dream became a reality after a lot of hard work.  But now that I've been comfortably settled in living that dream for over two years, it's time to think about what's next. 

And I chose Los Angeles.  Because I've never lived more than ten minutes from where I grew up.  Because I desperately miss my closest friends.  (Shown in the picture above.)  Because it's challenging.  Because I know that I could just get another office job that I don't want there to fund my new dreams.  Because there are opportunities for writers.  Because ultimately, I see myself living on the east coast (whether it be Boston or NYC) and I'd like to give the west coast a try.  Because why the fuck not?

It's going to be really tough, I'm sure.  But I've got wonderful friends out there who are already welcoming me in with open arms and offering any help they can.  Things are going to be different... but I'm excited.  It's time to tackle some new dreams.  I've been lucky so far with the way things have worked out and I've got a great amount of support. 

I feel like I can do anything I put my mind to.  And that involves comedy and a whole lot of other goals and careers I'd like to accomplish.  I'd like to look at this move and challenge as a way to indulge myself in my passions and not being held back by naysayers and negativity. 

We'll see.  Maybe I'm not ready and maybe this is a terrible decision - who cares!  I'm glad I'll never be ready.  I'll never be 100% content... and if I were, I don't think I'd ever accomplish anything. I'm not ready to be wide awake at 9:36am, but alas, HERE I AM.  And I'm doing just fine.

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