Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Engaged to Me!

Last week on Facebook (that sounds like the intro to a really bad teenage soap opera), two of my friends announced their engagements.  I'm happy for them!  They're both very nice ladies who have been in relationships for a while and are in seemingly good places in their lives.  Their status updates exploded with happiness and likes and congratulations and a part of me felt a little weird.  Even though I'm in a relationship and have no interest in getting married any time soon, I felt a little "behind."

Then, today on Facebook (the social media platform, not the soap opera) I posted that I was moving to L.A. because I wanted to make it feel more "official" and I wanted to give people notice about my last night (if they wanted to come to a show before I go!) and well, I don't know, that's what people do, right?  That's how we get information out now?  I was flooded with congratulations and support and it actually made me feel better about the whole thing (because I've been FREAKING out about it internally.)  But I still didn't feel like I accomplished nearly as much as my two newly engaged Facebook friends.

Do other people feel that way?  I feel like I'm taking a huge step and a huge risk and doing great things for myself... yet, I feel like more people are rolling their eyes at me than genuinely supporting me.  In fact, one of the first comments on the status was slightly negative, "Not my thing, but good luck to you..."  I don't care if people roll their eyes at me... I roll my eyes enough at myself!  But I also know that if I didn't go, I'd be making a huge mistake.  And I've seen what sticking around in Boston can do to a person (and the way other people view them.)  I want to take a risk and regret it than not take the risk and regret it. 

I know most people in my life are happy for me!  I hate to say it, but every comment and like on Facebook felt like a warm hug because it put everything into perspective for me!  I have been hating talking to people around me because more often that not, they respond with "Why?" or "Why not New York?" or "What are you going to do?"  before saying, "Congratulations!"  When people tell me they're getting engaged, I would never say, "Why?" or "But what about your career aspirations?"  It's unfortunate.

I do understand... getting married seems a lot more secure than packing up your life and moving 3,000 miles away.  I can see why people's initial reaction might be, "AHHH!!" And even though people do freak out - I believe they're genuinely excited for me!  I just think it's funny.  I wonder if I included in the post, "Also, my boyfriend is coming with me" people would breathe a little easier.  "Oh, thank goodness, at least she has some security out there!" 

But I'm not getting married.  I'm 27 and I'm moving to another city.  And that's awesome!  And I'm excited and scared and nervous.  And honestly?  I'd feel the same way if I were getting married.  This is nothing negative towards engaged people... I love them and their status updates!  I really do.  The idea of wedding planning is very exciting to me.  Probably more so than marriage, but still.  I just hope I'm not the only person in the world who feels "behind" sometimes even when we're doing good things for ourselves! (Please, please, please let there be others out there!)

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