Sunday, December 29, 2013

Long December

Woo!  December has been a crazy month.  

Not just because of Christmas... that is crazy enough on its own, but in reality, it went by in a flash and I can't believe we're on the other side of December and New Year's Eve is two days away.  I was afraid of this happening.  You know... life moving forward and days going by.  How dare it!  

This month has just been very stressful and emotional for me.  The fact that I'm moving, and leaving IA, has just been on the forefront of my mind and harder to dodge and not think about.  I can't believe this Saturday is my last night at the theater I've worked at for nine years.  I've performed every weekend for the past two and a half years and this Saturday... it's just done.  It's terrifying and sad.  Good and whatever, but whoa... it has been a roller coaster. 

I'm excited for what's coming up next... once I get all my ducks in a row.  But this month has just been the worst.  That sounds dramatic, but it feels true, it has been the worst.  So much fighting and arguing and being sad and panic attacks and sleepless nights and RESTLESS LEGS (during those sleepless nights) and financial stress and life stress and all other kinds of stress available.  It has all SLAMMED me hard this month.  But, there's been many moments of solitude, gratitude, attitude and clarity-tude.  

I'm thankful for what I've got, I'm happy to have done what I've accomplished, I'm proud of myself for making the decision and moving on, I'm excited for what's to come.  I'm excited to start a brand new chapter of my life!  I'm excited to have weekends free... even though I'll desperately miss performing, of course.  Not that I won't perform again in L.A., but it'll be different.  

See what I mean?  Roller coaster of emotions.  I'm happy for December to end.  It's time for a new dawn, a new day, a new life... and I'm feeling... weird. I'm feeling pretty weird. 

But, that's when you wake up, deep clean your room (it's amazing how much better and more organized that makes you feel), put on yoga clothes to sleep in (because that means you'll wake up and immediately do yoga, right?) and continue the odd tradition you have of starting old TV shows on Hulu the week after Christmas ("Mary Tyler Moore", how fitting!) 

We might just make it after all!

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