Friday, May 30, 2014

On Rebuilding


I recently bulldozed my fun and content life in Boston and moved to Los Angeles.  And like I’ve mentioned a hundred times, it was really hard but worth it.  It was hard to make the decision, it was hard to force myself to break out of my comfort zone and take a huge chance on a not-so-guaranteed thing. And honestly?  It has just been hard some times being 3,000 miles away from everything I know and love!

But here I am: alive and well in a brand new city.  I know my way around the streets, I get California references and I cannot for the life of me say “Marina Del Rey” without it sounding like I’m in the Californians sketch on SNL

Anyways, rebuilding.  It’s a part of life.  We do it after junior high, high school, college, when we move between day jobs, etc.  So, whether you’re moving across the country or just starting a new chapter in your life, here are some tips on rebuilding:

Let go of what you’re leaving behind.  If you’re constantly thinking about what is behind you, then it won’t be so easy to move forward.  Some days, I would find myself thinking, “Man, they’re all at House Teams right now.”  Or, “I bet they’re all drinking at Paddy O’s” and it would make me feel sad.  It’s best to remember you left for a reason and that of course life still exists when you’re not there.  I mean, it’d be awesome if it everything just stopped Zack Morris-style, but apparently THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE.  Say goodbye, check in every once in a while – but move forward!

Take everything one step at a time.  When I moved, I had to prioritize things.  First, I had to get a place to live.  Then, I needed a means to make money.  Then, I needed a car.  Then, I needed to LIVE MY LIFE!  As I crossed things off my list, I felt better and better about my move (and myself.)  At the very, very least, I have a roof over my head.  And now I have a job and (sometimes) a way to afford groceries and the occasional drink out with friends.  If I moved without a plan of attack, it would be way too overwhelming.  I still don't have a whole lot of furniture in my apartment, but I'm taking it one step at a time.  I don't have a packed agenda full of activities yet, but I'm getting there.  Soon, I'll be complaining about being too busy and too rich!  (Just kidding.  I'll never be RICH, nevermind TOO RICH!) 

Do new things.  I used to spend every night working.  Literally.  Every single night, I was working in some way and my days were free.  I didn’t get the chance to do a whole lot of fun, social things other than shows and then running to a bar at one in the morning because we only had so much time left for drinking.   I’ve spent a good amount of time in California doing new things I couldn’t do in Boston!  I went to Disney, I went to some beaches, I went on hikes… it was all new and fun.  New is the best part of a relationship, right?

Be social.  I have to admit, “making friends” wasn’t one of my biggest priorities when I moved.  I moved for my career and sometimes I catch myself thinking, “I have all the friends I need!”  But that’s crazy talk.  I’ve made a few good friends since moving to L.A. and it has made things a lot easier!  

Forgive and forget.  Just let go of animosity towards everything.  Bitterness, resentment, and negativity – they hold you back.   You’ll never be open to a new life if you’re still bitter about things in your old one.   Shitty friends?  Forget about them.  They’re not a part of your life anymore.  Shitty experience at your job?  Don’t let that hold you back from getting a new one or working in the same industry.  Stop being mad.  No matter what it's about or who you're mad at, STOP BEING MAD. 

2 comments:

Z said...

This is so interestesting for me to read, considering that I live in Boston and am contemplating a move (and total rebuild) to LA in a little under a year. Already terrified.

Patty Barrett said...

It's really not as scary as it seems! The hardest part is making the decision, once you do it, everything falls into place. But maintaining life out here (once the excitement of moving is over) is the trickiest part... but also great and fun!

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