Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Wearing Lipstick for No Reason


You know what’s funny about free time?  We spend all week yearning for and dreaming of it and when we finally get it, we have no god damn clue what to do with it.   I spent all last week imagining all the great things I’d do with my time off during the long weekend and then of course just spent most hours pretty bored.   I’d read a book here, watch TV there, try to get into a movie… but nothing worked. 

That’s OK.  I’ll take bored.

But, I kept wishing I had the money to go out somewhere.  It’d be nice to go exploring, but I kind of used all that up last weekend and didn’t have the money or company this weekend.  For whatever reason, I just felt like taking a shower, getting dressed up and looking pretty.  I used to spend every weekend doing my hair all nice and putting lipstick on and I missed having a reason to wear lipstick! 

Lipstick is pretty impractical.  It’s hard to eat with, drink with, kiss with, maintain, etc.  But during shows it was great, because I didn’t do any of those things and all I had to worry about was looking nice (while being funny and/or getting my lines right.)  And while you don't need lipstick to be pretty (in fact, I wear very little make-up because I'm lazy) but there's something about it that just makes you feel pretty. 

So, since I wasn’t doing anything at all, I put on lipstick.  A dark red lipstick.  For no reason whatsoever and for nobody at all, except that I wanted to feel a little bit prettier that afternoon! And it made me feel a lot more glamorous and classy while reading a book on my iPad on my patio while drinking root beer and vodka in the middle of the afternoon.  As if that needs anything to make it classier!  

By the way, I’m reading Nora Ephron’s “Crazy Salad and Scribble, Scribble” which is a series of essays about women and the media during the early 70’s and it’s super interesting to hear her point of view on the women’s rights movement while it was actually happening.  It’s also interesting because a lot of the issues still exist!  For instance, there’s an essay about vaginal odor spray and how it’s crazy and women don’t need it but they’re sold this product and made to feel insecure about it simply because the product exists!  A few hours after reading it, I watched Sarah Silverman’s HBO special and she had a joke that mentioned the exact same thing!  And then, after turning that off, I saw that crazy commercial for Summer’s Eve body wash which is “gentle on a woman’s V” and when the man heard he had used the product MADE FOR WOMEN AND THEIR V’S, he immediately ran off to do a bunch of manly things.  It made me laugh and feel crazy.  Ladies, you don’t need special body wash for your V.  Also, hey, can we not call it a V?  

So, in closing – don’t use special body wash (what's wrong with a good ol' bar of Dove?) and don’t feel the need to wear lipstick for any person or reason, you can just wear lipstick for yourself!  And for your cat, since she’s around anyway and doesn’t understand what’s going on.  And she also can’t call you out for looking too fancy on the face when your body is still wearing pajamas.  Because that's what happened.  

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