Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Analyzing Lyrics: Young Girl by Gary Puckett & The Union Gap

Recently, I went through a bit of a 1960's and 1970's musical phase.  This happens every few weeks or so, when I'm done with my 50's or 80's music phases.  Beau and I took a trip to Venice Beach and I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to debut my well-curated playlist.  Until this song came on.  Beau was very mad about it and I never really listened to the lyrics.  

So let's analyze these lyrics together! 

Young Girl
Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line 
Better run, girl! 
You're much too young, girl! 

OK, wait.  My first question here is how young is this girl?  This is an instance where specificity really pays off.  Even "Young Adult" may have been more appropriate, although even that demographic starts at age 14.  My second question is: BETTER RUN, GIRL?  Run from what, exactly?!?  It seems counterproductive to say "I'm coming for you but I know I shouldn't, so I'm warning you that I know it's bad - but if you don't run, IT AIN'T MY FAULT!" 

With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth 
You led me to believe
You're old enough 
To give me love
And now it hurts to know the truth 

Whoa, okay.  So this girl is definitely not legal.  Where exactly did you meet this girl with all the charms of a woman?  It couldn't have been a bar or a club, because she literally can't get into those places.  I hope it wasn't say, a mall or something, because that could have been your first warning.  Also, super classy blaming HER for your interest in her young body.  But now that you know the truth... you're not going to do anything about it, right?  Right, Gary Puckett?!  

Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it's wrong to be 
Alone with me 
That come on look is in your eyes

So, here's the thing, a baby in disguise is STILL A BABY.  It's wrong to be alone with you because you're a very creepy old man.  It really doesn't matter if she's coming on to you, you're an adult and you should know better.  You shouldn't be alone with her and you should be resisting your urges and not be gross.  Plus, a "come on look" is not a green light. I mean, come on.  #yesallwomen 

So hurry home to your Mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far 

You will never have the time to change your mind, it will always be wrong.  And you can't be afraid to go too far, YOU HAVE A SAY IN THIS.  You and your penis share the same brain, so don't act as though it's completely out of your hands.  

And although the song is over, and you controlled yourself around this young girl, you're still a horrible human being for even slightly entertaining the thought.  Plus, the upbeat, happy tempo of this song is so disturbing.  You tricked me into ignoring the lyrics for years!  Also, it doesn't surprise me that the follow up to this song is called, "This Girl Is A Woman Now."  

Let's all go wash this song out of our hair.  

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