Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams and Dealing with Life

I was in high school when John Ritter died and I was extremely affected by his death.  I was going through a pretty serious Three's Company phase at the time, so when he died; I was  horrified and saddened.  I can't say that any girl at my high school in the year 2003 felt the same way that I did, but my love and pain was real!  

Yesterday, when I found out that Robin Williams died, it was a similar feeling - like I had been punched in the gut.  Robin Fucking Williams.  There are so many comedians out there  but Robin Williams was truly original and absolutely untouchable.  There is nobody else in the world quite like him.  Very few people could make people laugh like he did in such a genuine way.  Even when his characters were total assholes or weirdos, they were charming and lovable.  I'm seeing a lot of people say that they grew up with him and that's exactly how it feels.  He was like our kind, funny uncle Robin who was always there making us laugh and now he's just gone. 

The other reason it's so hard to handle is because of how it happened.  I wasn't entirely surprised, knowing that he dealt with a lot of personal issues with substance abuse and depression, but it's still shocking and horrible to hear.  It's hard to fathom what state he must have been in and what thoughts were running through his head and what finally pushed him over the edge to make that decision.  Moments like this are true examples that depression is such a real and hideous problem that so many people deal with and it so often gets swept under the rug.  I'm sure we've all been depressed before and were told to essentially "snap out of it" or "just fix it" or "do something about it" and it's so much bigger than that.  Brains are wonderful yet awful places to be.  

Life is hard... and death is hard.  Everything is so god damn hard.  I sometimes wish that I wasn't a "creative" type and that I could just accept a simple life, a steady job and solid relationship with no risks because this life and path is very difficult when it comes to maintaining a healthy, positive and happy attitude and lifestyle.   It's so easy to lose hope, feel like a failure and generally feel alone in the world, no matter how many people are saying, "I'm right here!"  There is so much (internal) pressure to be happy and please everyone around you that it's so easy to neglect your own health because what's the point?  Who are we to deserve such great care? 

My heart goes out to Robin Williams and his family for what he went through and what they're going through.  I'm sure they told him every day that they were right there, I'm sure they tried their hardest to convince him how truly special he was... but ultimately, something much bigger than him took control and that was that.  And that happens far too often.  

At least we got to have him.  At least he doesn't have to deal with the darkness in his life anymore.  At least his legacy will live on forever and he will always be ROBIN FUCKING WILLIAMS to us.  He may not have believed it to be true or even wanted it to happen, but he's going to live forever and someone will always be there rooting for him, laughing with him and appreciating him for what he was: the ever impressive, the long-contained, the often imitated but never duplicated... genie of the lamp. 

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