Monday, September 8, 2014

Things I'm Good At

Every morning, I wake up.  Before I put on my make-up… I shit on myself for something.  Doesn’t everyone?  Typically, the first thought of my day is a negative one and what a horrible realization that is – right?  It’s usually “Ugh, I overslept” or “Ugh, I don’t want to go to work” or “Ugh, I forgot to do that” or “Ugh, my hair is a disgusting pile of bird shit and I don’t have enough time, nor the energy, to wash it.” 

And that’s just the FIRST thought of the day.  There are tons of negative thoughts that come later! 

But I had several cups of coffee today and while I was working on a Powerpoint Presentation (that’s right, a POWERPOINT PRESENTATION) I realized that there are some things I’m kind of decent at doing!

For one, I’m pretty good at knowing when I need a haircut.  Sure, that seems like something that is obvious to everyone… but I really know when it’s time for a haircut.  My hair gets all greasy and dry and dead and I’m like, “Hey, self, we can’t do this anymore!” and I call and make an appointment.  I’m pretty good at going every 6-8 weeks.  That’s IMPRESSIVE.  And expensive!

I have a good long-term memory!  I remember my childhood pretty vividly – and remember yours too.  (My short-term memory is shit, but we’re focusing on the positive.)

I can waste time, or be rude, on my phone like nobody’s business.  Face to face conversation?  No thank you!  It’s phone time.

I’m good at driving – and also, having panic attacks while driving when people get too close to me or just really piss me off. 

I can lie on a yoga mat and fold my body over so that my feet touch behind my head.  It’s not necessarily a yoga move, but it’s pretty good for being lazy and stretching your back.

I feed my cat EVERY day.  Unless I forget. 

When I need to extend a gel manicure, I just cut my nails.  Sure, my cuticle area still looks like absolute SHIT, but hey, at least they're MOSTLY covered with nail polish.  Right?  

I can write my name over and over and over and over on a blank piece of paper when I'm bored.  Sometimes, in cursive!  

And I don't want to brag, but my teeth are pretty much unusable due to HOW GREAT I AM AT GRINDING MY TEETH. 

So, I ask you, take a second today to focus on what you do well - as opposed to all the areas you could use improvement!  

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