Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Your Company's Holiday Party

 The holidays are here!  What better way to celebrate than by spending time with all the people you hold near and dear to your heart... and co-workers!

Despite the fact that I'm almost completely socially inept, I do enjoy holiday parties.  But that's mostly because I like Christmas music and open bars.  And wearing sparkly dresses. However, it's difficult to practice restraint in an open bar situation when you're basically poor and could never afford a night out in a fancy establishment with non-stop drinks otherwise.  

I have messed up quite a few times.  I have drank all the wine until I got so drunk and angry that I threw my last glass of wine at the floor.  That's right, AT the floor.  I have done splits in short, sparkly skirts.  I have sang karaoke with a group of girls, ultimately stealing the microphone completely because I was really feeling a Spice Girls song.  I have told people the truth.  The bad, drunk kind of truth.   

So, while I thoroughly believe you should go out and make your own mistakes to hopefully learn from - here are some tips on how to behave at your company's holiday party - and some interesting information on holiday parties in general from the folks over at TinyPrints! (Such as 75% improved office friendships, errybody!) 

1. Stay away from the bar when your bosses/the owners are there.  There is nothing more awkward than waiting for a drink in a bar line at a company party.  You are forced to talk to people because you all work together, but you might not all know each other.  There are a whole lot of "What do you do here?" conversations.  But you don't want to have that conversation with the owner of your company... because you're going to get all weird.  YES YOU ARE.  You're going to feel really uncomfortable and feel like you SHOULD say something and then you're going to end up saying something like, "Great party!" despite the fact they had nothing to do with planning it.  You're also going to say, "Great company!" despite the fact they already know.  You might even get sappy and say how happy you are to have found the place and how lucky you are to work there.  I'm sure they'll be touched, but AVOID IT REGARDLESS. 

2. Try to save your hardcore drinking for the after party.  Chances of the big bosses going to the after party are slim to none, and if they are going - they expect things to get sloppy!  So that makes it all OK!  The party is for drinking 6-8 drinks, taking a bunch of weird pictures with your co-workers, commenting on how drunk other people are and making light conversation with co-workers you don't know that well.   The after party is for shots, screaming, grinding with people you'll have to face tomorrow, crying in bathroom stalls and maybe - just maybe - letting someone convince you that it's OK to try a drug that you've never tried before.  Go ahead, let tomorrow's regrets happen here.  

3. Don't do splits in short, sparkly dresses.  I know, it's impressive that you can still do a split YEARS after your dance career came to a screeching halt due to high school self-esteem issues.  But just DON'T do it.

4. Stick to low sugar drinks. If your holiday party is on a weeknight, specifically a Tuesday or Wednesday, then stick to drinks with less sugar.  This might be different for everyone, but I sure as hell feel even more terrible after drinking a TON of sugary cocktails or sticking to white wine all night.  Those are the worst hangovers for me.  If I have to function the next day, I'll stick to a couple of beers... or stick with vodka sodas ALL NIGHT LONG. 

5. Don't dress too slutty. This should be obvious, but if it's low back, it should be high front.  If it's low front, it should be a longer length.  If it's short, it should have sleeves or at least lack side boob.  As my friend Emilie said, "I don't want to be stuck at the bar talking to the CEO looking like a slut."  So do what she says.  Less is always more!

5. Have fun.  Don't try too hard to be an exemplary employee.  It's expected for everyone to turn into wild and crazy kids (like the Nickelodeon TV show.)  Have a few drinks, talk to people, laugh, dance, sing karaoke, enjoy yourself... because your company probably dished out hundreds upon thousands of dollars for you to do so.  Just don't drink yourself into a dumb ass and you're GOLDEN!  

6. For beginner's to the office holiday party scene, Tiny Prints created this illustrated guide to help even the shyest person in the office comfortably navigate their corporate soirée. In charge of planning this year's party? It also includes some helpful facts and tips on the best time and place to host as well as who should be invited. See the full guide below and visit their website to share with your friends.

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