Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Break Your Rut!

Life is full of ups and downs, ins and outs and a baker's dozen full of ruts.  That's right,  a BAKER'S dozen.  I have met so many ruts in my life that it's got to the point where I don't even feel like chasing any more dreams because I know that eventually I'll plateau within them and get bored and fall into yet another rut.  I'll never be happy with anything, so what's the point of even trying?  Right?  Right.

The truth is that ruts are about as easy to break as a lifelong acne problem.  You probably should go ask your doctor to put you on Accutane, but you're too afraid of all the dangerous risks that go along with it (like not getting pregnant and suicide.)  I get it, I've been there... I'm there right now.  But it's not the end of the world.  There are some significant ways to change your life without too much effort.

1. Challenge yourself.  Ruts stem from monotony, so challenge yourself to do something that you don't do every single day.  Instead of ordering take out, challenge yourself to use a pot and a pan and cook yourself something.  Trader Joe's has great frozen meals and hey, it's not technically cooking but it's a start.  Or, challenge yourself to exercise every single day.  Challenge yourself to read books, bake breads or date a different ethnicity every week.  Or maybe something less oddly racist than that last one!

2. Take a class.  When I was bored and chubby at 19 years old, I decided to take improv classes and also walk along the Mystic River every single day.  I lost a bunch of weight that summer but I also started a career in comedy.  So hey, sometimes when we take a class that we're afraid to take - we find new career paths and cults to join that you make you feel better and more important than everyone else. 

3. Join a dating site or download a dating app.  Maybe you're in a rut because you're single.  That sounds offensive, but I don't mean it that way.  Hey, I'm in a rut and I'm in a relationship that is turning two years old very soon!  But if you want to start dating but you're not meeting anybody at the three places you go on a regular basis (work, Target and the liquor store) then start going to bars with less friends or download some dating apps.  They seem to be popular among the youth... and a lot of people have found some luck and not one of my friends has died yet!

4. Look for a new job / apartment / life.  If your job is boring you, and you think you could get paid more elsewhere, look for a new job!  Now's the perfect time to update your LinkedIn profile and remove all those joke skills that your friends added to your profile for you.  Although I'm sure that an employer will be impressed by how many friends think I'm skilled at Microsoft Word.  If you hate where you live, or have run out of wall space for your printed Instagram pictures, then hop on Craigslist and find yourself a new place and maybe even a free couch or aquarium  If your life sucks, well then I'm sorry but there has got to be an app for that, right?

5. Get pregnant.  If all else fails - get pregnant.  There's no better way to shake up every single thing in your life than by birthing a child! 


Anonymous said...

It's been a while since I've visited your blog but every single time that I do, your posts always comfort and inspire me. Thanks for being you, Patty!

-A fan

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