I was dead asleep in my bed when it turned 2016. In California, at least.
In previous years, you would find me just getting ready for a full night of partying with all my friends and castmates. I used to perform on New Year’s Eve and my night typically wouldn’t even start until midnight. Naturally, that had me stumbling up my apartment stairwell late in the morning after a night of drinking large portions of champagne-based drinks in a small apartment stuffed to the brim with sweaty humans.
But this year was different.
I originally had plans to go to a bar and spend a bunch of money on drinks and get really drunk with my friends. And then I went back to Boston and did enough damage in one night that I don’t think drinking in 2016 is remotely necessary - or even possible.
But aside from that, I just made the decision not to. I didn’t feel like it. I went out to dinner, ate some overly-peppered pasta, drank a little bit of wine and called it an early night.
I returned from Boston a few days earlier and was feeling pretty down. A lot of my L.A. friends were still out of town. Others didn’t want to go out or spend money. Others just wanted to hook up with a bunch of random strangers. I was not in the mood for any of that.
Then, a day later, I got food poisoning. It was by far the sickest I have ever been and there were points in the night where I thought I was going to die on the bathroom floor from dehydration. My cat circled my weak, grey body as I lied on the floor trying to seek comfort from the cool tile. It was the most pathetic I’ve ever felt. And I’ve put myself in a lot of pathetic situations.
So now, I’m convinced that I’ve set myself up for a good year. I crawled into 2016 with low energy, a depressing outlook and a crippling stomach illness. That has got to mean good things on the horizon! Or it means that my youth is over as I age into my 30th year on the planet. That’s the new me. I’m the new Jan Brady. Boring, brunette, blank.
Just kidding. I have a trip to Disneyland planned. DISNEYLAND.
Here’s to a new year. And a new you. And a new do. And a new whatever the fuck you want.