Barrett All

On Being The Worst.

2012-02-17T07:29:00.000-08:00

On paper, I’m pretty cool. I’m “quirky” and a comedian and my glasses are almost as big as my face. But, thanks to society (or maybe just Pinterest) I know that I’m not living up to my cool potential. There are so many traits, possessions, hair extensions that I wish I had to be the person I really want to be.

In my mind, my apartment is super cool. I have a fridge stocked with cool beers, artisan cheeses and salty meats. Kind of like I’m always ready for a picnic at the drop of the hat. In fact, I don’t even have a kitchen table, I have a picnic blanket! I have a wall where instruments are hung up – but the only one I know how to play is the accordion. And I kill it on the accordion. Friends come over like all the time and admire the fun artwork on my frame wall while we listen to records and laugh. I do improv comedy, stay up late watching movies from the 1960’s and roll out of bed whenever the fuck I want because I’m a successful writer slash boutique breakfast place owner. My hair is super long, always has a perfect “bump” (without the use of any foam donuts) and I’m a brilliant, strategic thrifter with a closet full with vintage dresses.

In reality… my apartment is a mess. My roommate is a cat and she wakes me up by clawing my face several minutes before my alarm goes off every single morning just because she’s evil. My fridge has one can of Bud Light from a party that we threw over the summer… and half a bottle of Pinot Grigio. The first half of which I drank alone. There’s nothing else in there but a package of shredded mozzarella cheese, a rotten avocado and mustard. Instead of cool art, I have a giant picture frame filled with professional photographs of my two idiot friends. I don’t play any instruments but I do have an awesome record player! I fall asleep while watching sitcoms from the 1960’s (because I don’t have the patience for movies) and generally have an anxiety attack. I wake up too early for a job that I work to pay the bills while trying to be an improv comedian at night. I leave comedy shows to go home and eat gummy bears while watching The Muppets on YouTube. Generally my hair is a wavy mess and my closet is filled with Target dresses… and most of them are on the floor. And my friends never come over because they don't want to climb up 3,000 stairs to hang out in my tiny apartment.

Maybe I’m not the best person in the world… but I’m not the worst!

No, wait, I am. I'm the worst.

Day Maker.

2012-02-16T14:28:00.000-08:00

Work has been busy, stressful and... some days I just want to crawl in my bed and take a nap. (Today, on my lunch break, I did just that!) But sometimes I get email responses like this and... well, that's what I'd call a day maker.

(Some of the text was cut off, I didn't make that much of a grammatical mistake.)

Rachel's the best whore in town.

Galentine's Day.

2012-02-15T06:36:00.000-08:00

Galentine's Day is a day for ladies! It's the day where you gather all the best ladies in your life in one place and celebrate how much you love them! Mary, Kelly, Vicki and I {NOT SHALYN AND ASHLEY} chose to do this at my favorite restaurant ever... Gaslight.

I drank a drink called "The Shaken Bear" and got a bottle of wine and ate some baguette and steak frites and had a great time with the ladies in my life.

I spend so much time with guys. For example on Sunday night, I hung out with the guys in AC and topics of conversation included something tasting like their "mother's vagina" and then Mat Dann stole two rolls of toilet paper from the bathroom and dropped them on his way out. I had an awesome time. I love those guys! But sometimes I do enjoy lady conversation... like what our vaginas look like on the inside and how much we hate Kelly Clarkson's bangs.

Just kidding! We only talk about Riverdance.

On the way out, I left this comment card where I said the only thing I would change about Gaslight is the fact that their appliances don't talk... like in Beauty and the Beast. I should stop drinking.

instaweekend.

2012-02-14T06:26:00.000-08:00

trevor as dwight shrute.

big hair day.

line to get into our 10pm show.

feels kinda good.

janine and i got drunk at lunch.

you're welcome! with evan kaufman.

very fun new show at IA!

Things to Love on a Monday {Valentine's edition}

2012-02-13T04:22:00.000-08:00

1. polka dot straws.

2. you're my best friend.

ooooooooh, you make me live!
A Beautiful Mess.

3. anatomy of love.

4. shower full of balloons!
You Are My Fave.

5. hearts on a lawn.
Oh Happy Day.

6. for those of you in it.
wear it round yo neck.
love.

7. this dress is called "crimson sighs"
which is my favorite name ever.

8. the cutest vintagey valentines.
(i got them.) (i'm 25.)

9. it is nutty!

10. get it? like "i love you"
also, "olives.. ew" because i think olives are pretty gross.

happy monday!
it's galentine's day.

Remove from your Vocabulary.

2012-02-08T06:44:00.000-08:00

patty shadow.

Guys! I'm a woman! I've got ovaries and hips and medium length soft hair that is sometimes wavy and sometimes straight but always falling out of my head and leaving strands on my clothes. And, I'm sensitive as fuck sometimes. There are days when I can handle it. I'll dish it out and take it right back! And other days, I want to curl up in a ball and ask "Yo, why you so mean?"

But just because I'm sensitive, doesn't mean I lack confidence. I'm very confident. I'm certainly self-deprecating at times, but it's all jokes! Jokes! (Sometimes.) But, I like me. And that's why I think girls need to remove some choice sayings from their vocabulary. Here they are:

"I'm sorry." After getting upset because someone hurt your feelings. You have every right to get your feelings hurt. We all need a thick skin, but we also should act like adults and be nicer to each other. I don't think everyone's intention is harmful, but you should never apologize because you were offended.

"I can't pull that off." I used to wear oversized sweatpants and sweatshirts every day and now I do not. I wear printed sundresses and leather jackets and colored tights and whatever the fuck I want. I didn't do it overnight, but at some point I just decided, "I like that look. How can I make it work for me?" Every style is your style if you make it that way. I had blonde hair, I dyed it red. I had no tattoos, I got a tattoo, I wanted to mix leopard and stripes and I did! I pulled it off because I decided I wanted to. Anybody can pull anything off. (I mean... not anything. But, you get what I'm saying. Don't wear foolish things.)

"I can't" or "I could never do that!" Yes. You can. Really. You can. You'll be SHOCKED at how much you actually can do.

I mean, come on. Damn girl!

instaweekend.

2012-02-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

i apparently took very few photos this weekend.

probably because Saturday was the longest work day ever.

and Sunday i didn't leave my bed... yeah... that's probably it.

mint green shoes!

mary and i toasting to the groundhog.

also, mango margaritas are awesome.

cute cat. messy bed.

nurturing my voiceless throat.

i love dibello mercury. that mustache is gone...

because he has to dress like a woman on saturdays now.

My Sunday.

2012-02-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

Saturday evening (really Sunday morning), I went home. I could have stayed at the theatre and hung out and drank more beer. I could have gone elsewhere with a cute boy. But it was the end of a 15 hour work day and all I wanted to do was go to bed. I was so tired that I don't even remember getting into my apartment or going to bed (and I also can't find my clothes that I was wearing!) but I do know that I woke up at 11am on Sunday morning feeling refreshed, voiceless and VERY lazy.

I had a whole day planned. I was going to get my bangs trimmed and a manicure and pedicure and get a massage... but I physically couldn't get out of bed. I stayed in bed the entire day. I kept thinking, "I'll do home things. I'll do yoga and foam roll and do my own manicure and pedicure." But, no bone in my body wanted to move. I couldn't even muster the energy to get up and put a record on. Most of the day, I wasn't even watching or listening to anything. I just laid there.*

Eventually, I fell asleep to Mary Poppins (I need to get over this crush on 1960's Dick van Dyke) while Mary Poppins was singing a lullaby to the children. Yes. A lullaby worked on me. An almost 26-year-old woman. (I say "almost 26" because my birthday is in 3 months. That's almost 26, right?)

My new schedule may be getting to me. Hopefully, I'll get used to it and not spend every single Sunday in my bed. Because I really need my bangs trimmed. Like really bad.

Things to Love on a Monday

2012-02-06T06:25:00.000-08:00

1. what a time they're having! i wish i was a vintage girl on a beach.

2. i can't stop thinking of sleeve tattoos.

somebody help!

3. barbie heels! they make me happy.

4. striped walls.

5.this is the perfect living space.
found on You Are My Fave.

6. because every girl needs a set of cute tools, right?
(i just use my teeth.) A Beautiful Mess.

7. i wish i could pull off something like that without looking like a worn out housewife.
Oh Joy.

8. LOVE that bright headboard.
that's probably for a kid's room... but oh well.
i want someone to make me one.

9. I GET IT.
I DON'T NEED ANOTHER TATTOO.
but it's sooo prettyyyyy.

10. this makes me happy. i love me a pin-up.

happy monday!

Alphabet Magnets.

2012-02-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

Remember those alphabet magnets from when we were kids? well, this Etsy shop, has them in necklace form! and a ton of other really great handwritten ones. yes, and i want the ampersand one!

instaweekend.

2012-01-31T06:08:00.000-08:00

1. nothing but bangs and glasses.

2. rehearsing.

3. misch and i were both wearing colored tights!

4. magners midnight show. {starring alex kagy.}

5. my mom's birthday cake. that she bought for herself.

her birthday hasn't even happened yet.

Things to Love on a Monday

2012-01-30T06:11:00.000-08:00

1. really cute leather bow cuff.

2. let me just reach into my bag of tricks.

3. i need a black and white striped dress, stat.
thank you, Kendi Everyday.

4. opera glasses!
{these are current and legitimately being sold.}

5. JELLO LETTERS.
found on Oh So Lovely Vintage.

6. well, hello adorable hat!

7. hair and red heart headband? really love.
Skunkboy Creatures.

8. for when you could "eat a horse"

9. i love all things nautical.

10. i'm kind of a nerd and want to get an ampersand tattoo.
(yes, and...) ugh. i know.

happy monday!

Keep Movin' On.

2012-01-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

this week had a lot of ups! a few downs.

for there is one thing that i know,

what you reap is what you sew.

and that listening to sam cooke...

nearly always makes everything better.

happy friday!

An Apple a Day

2012-01-26T06:59:00.000-08:00

The members of Awkward Compliment constantly have a group text going on since we all have iPhones now and we're all cool. Sometimes I love it, sometimes it's a bit much, but I'm always glad it's there. Because whenever I need a laugh, they're always there! It's like always having your brothers in your pocket. Like, yesterday, when Mat Dann sent us an awesome video of a monster apple that I really can't describe, nor find a way to put online. But it sparked this conversation:

Mark: When the apple turned into a monster, it scared me.
Mat: I'm just making apple horror movies from now on.
Mark: Apple horror has huge aPEEL.
Casey: People love apple horror on this cider the country.
Mark: Hollywood is run by the Juice and they love this shit.
Me: That movie would shake them to the core.
Mark: You'll need some seed money to get things off the ground.
Casey: You could borrow some from your Granny Smith.
Mat: Eh, she's always Pie Eyed. If there was any city to shoot in it'd probably be the Big Apple. Fiona Apple is on the hook for the soundtrack.
Mark: Well, you could shoot in NYC or chard. Wherever that is?
Me: Don't just sit on this idea until it rots.
Mat: I think it's a really crisp idea.
Mark: It'll probably be a strudel at first, but you'll persevere. My psychic said you'll probably date a Chinese girl but eventually you'll dumpling and focus on your dream.
Mat: I hope I don't run into a jam with the studios. They'll juice you for your ideas and eat you alive.
Mark: Stay off the sauce, kid.
Mat: Easier said then done, Mark. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Me: You got a lotta Mottsy, kid.

Nerds.

P + K

2012-01-25T06:08:00.000-08:00

Last week, I was in a bathroom stall and saw this on the wall. I was with Kelly, so I texted her and said it was sweet! It was us!

Then, two days later, she saw this written in snow.

Coincidence? I think YES! But we're still made for each other.

instaweekend.

2012-01-24T09:05:00.000-08:00

i had a nice weekend.

that's all i've got.

ac circa 2012.

snow penis. {i didn't do this.}

state house.

misch's last night!

snow storm.

Things to Love on a Monday

2012-01-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

1. let's fly, birds.

{sometimes, during mainstage shows, evan will grab my hand and whisper, "come fly with me." it's funny. other times, matt looks over at me and goes, "NO" because he sees me trying to crack my back on a chair and he knows i'm gonna die.}

2. the best zooey deschanel has ever looked.
and she always looks good. (allure)

3. super cute handmade mittens.
a beautiful mess.

4. adorable drawing! denim denise approves.

5. LOVE THIS. so manly.
wait, am i a man? (ask Casey.) (that was a note to myself.)

6. painted wood signs.

7. best cake decorating idea... ever.

8. sweet stationary.

9. BEAR BREAD!!!!

10. oh, ron weasley. you were so cute!

happy monday!

Awkward Compliment, through the years.

2012-01-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

2008.

{the original. kinda.}

2009.

{plus ryan!}

2010.

{plus mat!}

2011.

{minus matt.}

2012.

{plus wack, minus casey.}

one thing i always feel incredibly proud of is when someone comes to see an AC show and says, "how long have you guys been together? you can tell you guys are best friends." i absolutely love it. it's better than "good show" or "you guys are funny."

i was talking to someone at IA about this and that and it was all drama-filled and dumb, and then AC came up and i breathed a huge sigh of relief. i was so thankful that i still had them. that when this tiny, miniscule improv world {and really, it is SO miniscule} gets so filled with ridiculous drama... at least i have AC. we absolutely have our own problems, but at least we love and respect each other and that usually trumps everything.

plus, if you're not in a group text getting stop motion dinosaur videos from mark o'connell...

well, i feel sorry for you.

god damnit, i love these guys.

Etta James.

2012-01-20T09:20:00.000-08:00

Etta James passed away today and that makes me sad. I remember when I first started getting into jazz, when I worked at the Museum of Fine Arts gift store in college, and every time Etta James "Love Songs" came on I'd get so excited. Then I stole it from the store and burned it on my computer. I still listen to it all the time. And, if I were to ever get married, I always thought I might use the above song as my wedding song. It's not traditional, it's not even a slow song, but I love it. It's on my list of "Favorite Songs Ever" that I don't actually have.

You should listen to Etta James. She had an amazing voice. The kind where you can actually feel everything she's singing about.

Rest in peace, Etta James.

Always A Dumb Idiot.

2012-01-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

still a dumb idiot.

I'm a pretty nostalgic person. Most of the time, it's for a period of time that I never even lived in. Like the 50's and 60's. I watch "Mad Men" and I'm like, "Aw, man, I miss that! Smoking in restaurants! Good old-fashioned wordy advertising! Fancy gloves and hats!" Even though I have no idea what that means because I was wearing Daffy Duck shirts through the 90's.

Man, I miss the 90's.

I'm turning 26 this year, you guys. 26. Yesterday, someone asked me how long I've been working at my company, and my response of "Four years." hit me like a brick to the mother effin face. I'm not "just out of college" age anymore! I graduated college four years ago. When your time out of college is the amount of time you spent in college... you're a real, live adult.

I'm not afraid of getting older at all. In fact, I'm happy with my age and my life thus far! I've accomplished things I never even thought I'd accomplish. My "scary age" is well into my 30's, and maybe even 40's at this point. But, still... nostalgia creeps its way in and I feel old and sad. I saw a picture of me and my friends at 16, dressed up in weird costumes (because we made a "funny" video) on Facebook the other day and I wanted to die because it was terrible and I was hideous. But, I'm still very close friends with a majority of the people in the picture (all but one, really) and most of them are still my best friends. I couldn't believe all that happened in the 10 years that picture was taken, and reminded me how simple life was when I was 16!

Yet, even 10 years later, I'm dressing up in costumes, making videos and taking silly pictures with my friends (for a living, even!) So, things change (I'M MUCH BETTER LOOKING NOW) but... I'm still a dumb idiot. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

instaweekend.

2012-01-17T07:12:00.000-08:00

here is my weekend in pictures.

it had its ups and downs.

its smiles and frowns.

{hitchcocktails at the friendly toast.}

{colin finding a dino in his beer.}

{me and mat dann after a victorious show.}

{popcorn in the green room.}

{am I roseanne?}

Things to Love on a Monday

2012-01-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

1. obviously, my dude.

2. hot!

3. i'm fascinated by these people for some reason.

4. many a haircut was based on a picture of her.

5. need it.

6. charlie chaplin tattoo.

7. polaroid iphone cover.

8. outfit crush on Kendi Everyday.

9. conversation heart cookies!

10. love everything about this.

happy monday!

Thank You.

2012-01-11T09:21:00.000-08:00

print found here.

The beginning to my year has been... rocky. Just undeniably stressful and I have a difficult time managing stress (and how I act based on it.) Between my day job, rehearals every day, shows with two different casts, teaching, writing... I've just had a difficult time not going absolutely crazy. Mainly because I don't sleep as much.

Now, this is going to sound corny (like everything I say), but the one thing that has kind of kept me together is the fact that A) I'm doing what I love and B) I'm staying true to myself. If you asked me five years ago where I'd be in five years, I would have said, "God, I don't even want to know." But I think I'm in a place now that the 20-year-old version of me would be really excited about. And I'm enjoying myself and doing what I love, and sure that comes with a price and a lot of hard work. But at the end of the day, I feel good and happy with my career. And that's wonderful.

And the B. part to that is that I feel good about the fact that every day I'm being honest with myself, and everyone else, about who I am and what I want. I'm unapologetically nerdy. This is who I am... I like to flirt, I like attention, I like having fun with my friends, I can be a total selfish bitch, I don't let people walk all over me, I only like to listen to Motown and Michael Jackson and occasionally something new and different but I always find myself back with my old favorites, I'm clumsy, I'm a fan of a drink at the end of a long day and, god damnit, I like myself. At the very least, I've got that going for me.

Being you is a good you to be.

That's all. Carry on.

: )

instaweekend.

2012-01-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

i didn't have a great weekend. after the busy, busy week... i felt kind of... defeated and crazy.

luckily, i feel the same right now. so... that's awesome.
but here are some pictures from it, anyway.

{small guy in a giant coat.}

{pedicure.}

{i drew a mouth on my tattoo!}

{thriller on vinyl.}

{post-show platters.}

Things to Love on a Monday

2012-01-09T04:58:00.000-08:00

1. um... the best shoes.

2. awesome scarf.

3. what a chair.

4. colorful mug!

5. cutest brown bear print!

6. train case turned boom box.

7. pipe bookshelf.

8. i would never eat this. just look at it.

9. sexy tub.

10. i love a striped skirt. what can i say!

happy monday!

Tiny Moments.

2012-01-06T11:13:00.000-08:00

This week was the busiest week of my life. That's okay. It's Friday and it was productive and it made me realize that I would hate having "down time" all the time and that it's so much more cherished when you hardly ever have it. Last night I got home at 11:30 and thought it was the greatest gift I'd ever been given. I could just sit in my bed, watch episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" and sleep until 8am.

I have a lot on my mind. But not much to say. I'm tired. I can't wait to get out of work and NOT USE MY BRAIN. Also, here are engagement pictures of Matt and Trevor. Happy Friday! xoxo

Four Eyes.

2012-01-03T05:59:00.000-08:00

I first found out that I needed glasses when I was in 8th grade. I took an eye test at school and the lady asked, "Where are your glasses?" and I responded, "I don't have any..." and she was shocked. I had horrible eye sight. I knew that because I couldn't see the chalk board from far away. Or friend's faces... up close.

Yeah. So, then I got glasses and the whole world changed! By that, I mean I could actually see it. I love wearing glasses. I've often thought about getting contacts, but why? My face looks weird without glasses covering it. It's just the truth. {Thanks, Evan.} And they've just become a part of me. They make sense. And I look cuter.

SO! I just bought these new ones from Warby Parker... and they make me look super hip. {Which is very important. Kidding. Kind of.} For every pair that is bought, Warby Parker sends another pair to someone who needs glasses. I do so little for the world and I give hardly anything back... so it's nice to help some other poor little 8th grader who is too dumb to realize she CAN'T SEE ANYTHING AND NEEDS GLASSES.

... hopefully that's who I'm helping.

Things to Love on a Monday

2012-01-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

1. confetti decor!

2. colorful Vogue cover.

3. leopard print bow.

4. i love everything about this picture.

perfect red hair!

5. glasses! red hair! red lips! HOT.
Here's looking at me kid.

6. redesigned movie poster! so good!
found here.

7. cute socks and Hunter boots.

8. fun bear.

9. cool patterned cameras.
ModCloth blog.

10. MUPPET ALPHABET.

happy monday!
and happy new year!

2011: The Best Year?

2011-12-30T07:22:00.000-08:00

At the end of every year, I think “What a wonderful year I’ve had!” Even, say, two years ago when the year ended particularly horribly... I still thought, "But the rest of the year was so great!" Call me optimistic (or crazy)... but I'll say it again, this year was a FANTASTIC year. Maybe even the best.

In all honesty, the reason this year was so great was because I really, as corny as this sounds... grew into my face. No, that's not the right wording. I came into my own! I felt good about who I was and how I looked and self-concious thoughts stopped interfering with my days and making me feel inferior. I was super confident and it made me happier and I was able to focus on other things... like improv and writing. And okay, boys. I'm ending 2011 in a very good place and I'm excited for the new year and have great things ahead.

Also, there's this:

i honestly have the best friends.

ever.

Happy New Year xoxo

New Year's Beav

2011-12-29T08:50:00.000-08:00

i... LOVE... new year's eve.

i love everything about it!

i love dressing up in a ridiculous sparkly outfit.

i love wearing too much make-up.

i love wasting time curling my hair knowing it won't stay.

i love drinking champagne {and way too much vodka.}

i love counting down to midnight and screaming.

i love kissing everyone at midnight.

i love having fun with my friends in an apartment filled with only my friends.

if i were the richest woman in the world, that's what i'd wear. that dress costs over $1,000. jesus. but i have my own sparkly disco ball dress that i'm going to wear. my dearest friend Cavbot is throwing a "New Year's Beav" party. i have shows beforehand then i'll be there! ringing in the new year with the best people!

i'm a little excited!

Color Combo.

2011-12-28T02:00:00.000-08:00

leopard and stripes and denim and cognac.

good color combo.

that's all.

p.s. boobs!

Things to Love on a Monday {er, Tuesday}

2011-12-27T07:42:00.000-08:00

1. fun noise makers for new year's.
You Are My Fave.

2. awesome vintage kitchen.
oh so lovely vintage.

3. recipe for a fun new year!

4. glasses and a messy bun.

5. hehe.

6. this is perfect!

7. another harry potter tat.

8. i want to make a table like this.

9. POW hair clip!

10. hairspiration.

HAPPY TUESDAY.

a sick and merry christmas.

2011-12-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

this christmas, santa gave me the flu. or just a cold. whatever he gave me, it's annoying. but i guess there's no better place to be sick than home. mainly because i get waited on and whatever i want brought to me at any time. mainly tea. and tissues. and cute kisses from my nosy dog.

i had a very nice christmas. there's really nothing to complain about right now... which is a great feeling. i have amazing friends and family... and everything's just going really well in every department. things will never be perfect, but they're as good as can be right now. for that, i'm grateful and happy.

maybe it's just the re-watching of "it's a wonderful life" that has put me in the spirit, but nonetheless, the spirit is there. and i thought of what all of your lives would be like without me, and frankly, things would be grim.

god bless us, everyone.

p.s. i love you. {casey, you know the rest.}

Friendmas.

2011-12-22T08:36:00.000-08:00

Last night, we had our first annual Friendmas. It wasn't planned... nor did anybody call it "Friendmas" aside from me. But, still, I'm officially making it an annual thing because it was so great and it actually put me in the holiday spirit. I love my friends.

Mary, Shalyn and I drove out to Brookline with bags of groceries and holiday-flavored beer. We all sat around a yule log on the TV and listened to Christmas music on Bryan's iPod (which feautured one terrible song that randomly had a techno beat start halfway through... that sounded like farts) and we ate kielbasa covered in brown sugar, brie with red pepper jelly in puff pastry (my favorite thing in the world) and A CHRISTMAS HAM with caesar salad, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole and crescent rolls (thank you, Marty and Trevor.) We had never, ever done anything like that. And by that I mean, we never, ever act like adults.

After hearing some terrible news that our good friend's mother passed away, we were in a pretty somber mood. So, it was nice to be with each other and appreciate each other's company... and good things in life. Like ham. And Trevor in a captain's hat. And fartmas music. And Don Rickle's memoir.

my wish list.

2011-12-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm excited for Christmas at this point because I will get to sleep in for four straight days. FOUR. DAYS. That's huge. But, sure, I'm also excited for my friends being in town and holiday sips and Christmas movies and day drinking. But, it really wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't spend my days dreaming of material things. Here's my wish list of material things:

1. Hunter boots, $125.

2. Betsey Johnson leopard-lined parka, $116

3. Crosley mini turntable, $75.

4. Warby Parker glasses, $95.

5. The Great Muppet Caper, $12.

Gilda.

2011-12-21T06:23:00.000-08:00

I keep having this "Who am I?" feeling {ala Zoolander!} Like, I've reached a certain point where I'm really interested in working on my character and who I am as a person and I don't want what I do to represent me but rather the kind of person I am. If that makes sense.

I was re-reading "Live from New York" last week and read this bit of conversation from Steve Martin about Gilda Radner:

"I know she had trials and tribulations, but knowing her, it was never expressed. It was just joy and happiness and funniness and comedy."

That's just wonderful, huh? I want to be like that. {I have a lot of work to do to be like that!}

Perfect Prints.

2011-12-20T06:18:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for the perfect print to add to my room.

Here are some options from ashleyg.

Things to Love on a Monday {Christmas Edition}

2011-12-19T06:26:00.000-08:00

{this is a friendly reminder that Christmas is this. weekend.}

1. little drummer boy gift tags.

rifle paper co.

2. elf votives.

3. festive jars!

You Are My Fave.

4. it's cold outside stickers.

5. rockefellar center. christmas tree. heart melt.

6. modcloth's holiday style book.

7. holiday party hair.

A Beautiful Mess.

8. holiday lookbook from Ruche.

so. gorgeous.

{and love that backdrop!}

9. lyric stuffed christmas ornament.

10. the CUTEST holiday cards!

what a happy bear!!

happy monday!

{i feel like this is going to be a stressful week.

let's all remember to chill out & remember to have fun. with our friends.

and family. and alcohol. merry christmas.}

Talented Friends!

2011-12-15T07:44:00.000-08:00

My friends Matt and Richie shot a webseries last week called “ETC: Employment Through Craigslist." They started a Kickstarter campaign for it in October and met their goal (and then some!) I was super excited that they asked me to be a part of it… because I think they’re incredibly talented, handsome, funny and all-around terrible guys.

I had a fun day shooting with them – it was their final day of shooting and they were still upbeat and energetic (even though they had been shooting non-stop all week.) I had a wonderful time. Especially when we all went on a field trip to eat lunch from Chicken Now in the food court of the Cambridgeside Galleria Mall.

They'll be posting the episodes on this website, etcwebseries.com, in the New Year. So make sure to take a look! The episode I shot was hilarious (honestly, I very rarely read a script and laugh out loud, but I did with this one. Several times.) So, I have no doubt the other episodes are just as hilarious.

Y'All ready for Rich?

Barrett Holiday Gift Guide

2011-12-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

I don't have any money this year. Like, at all. My gifts will come in the form of hugs and kisses and paper mache busts of my friends' heads. But, if I did have money, here's some things I would get for people:

1. state necklaces. {$55 from etsy seller, truche}

i have a more pricey one, but i get a TON of compliments on it. a SHIT TON.

2. a jack spade money clip. probably the clams one. $65.

3. ron swanson print. or any nan lawson illustration. $16.

4. Bossypants. because it's the best. $13

5. this leopard infinity scarf. because it's soft and fun. $20, express.

6. bear print. $20.

7. warby parker glasses. in thatcher. {whiskey tortoise shade.} $95
{OK, maybe that's just on my own personal wish list.}

8. because they're my favorite artists. and everyone should own their music.
otis ($15) and sam ($9)

9. customized wine labels. $9.

10. or make those customized vodka labels.

I hope you enjoy shopping.
While I enjoy drinking.

Things to Love on a Monday.

2011-12-12T07:14:00.000-08:00

1. fun ways to use magnetic strips. i lose bobby pins. a lot.

Wit + Delight.

2. love the chevron wall and those chairs!

Lauren Conrad.

3. cute ornament.
A Cup of Jo.

4. love this giant bobby pin! i have so much hair.

5. for some reason, i envision having my own black box theatre.
with these bright ass chairs! {"bright ass", not "ass chairs"}
found on Oh Joy!

6. secret book flask!

7. ornament chandelair. i need to make this.
found on You Are My Fave.

8. grace kelly.

9. alexa chung. love her style & hair.

10. SNL inspired.

happy monday!

Instaweekend.

2011-12-06T02:00:00.000-08:00

I'll admit, I've been instagramming a little too much lately. I'm just obsessed! And I just got my iPhone... so, give me some time to get over the honeymoon phase, everyone. I'll get over it. {Just kidding, I won't. I'm in looooove!} Here are some photos of my weekend, via instagram.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-12-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

1. i love this picture, tattoo, everything.

A Cup of Jo.

2. cute wreath, my dude.

You Are My Fave.

3. photo booth props!

4. Bill Murray by Nan Lawson.

5. vintage little mermaid poster.
i know a little mat dann who would love this.

6. muppets cake pops. {!!!}

7. i want this suitcase briefcase, whatever it is. I WANT IT.
i want to build a table out of vintage suitcases.

8. obsessed with this book shelf/lighting unit.
i'm good with words.

9. i have a problem with girls idolizing someone who hated themselves.
but... HOT DAMN. she was so gorgeous! look at that body!

10. i just can't stop thinking about a vintage typewriter.

happy monday!

The Dirty Forks

2011-11-30T02:00:00.000-08:00

My friend Mat is filming a show and last week, he had Mary, Kelly and Shalyn play a girl band. I tagged along as their band manager slash I wanted to see them pretend to play instruments and look all punk rock. It was awesome. Our friend Wack has a studio in his apartment with drums, and these ladies went to town. They were absolutely hilarious and I can't wait to see the result!

Some of their alternative band names were: The Dirty Forks, Torn ACL, The Dirty Sluts, Ketchup on Tap, Slow Gas Leak and my personal favorite, The Pork Swords.

Amazon Recommended

2011-11-29T08:09:00.000-08:00

Apparently, I'm a bear.

{that's the hat i was looking up that prompted these recommendations.}

Things to Love on a Monday.

2011-11-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

1. kate spade? glasses? on sale? check.

2. fun advent calendar.

3. vintage wrapping paper.
Oh So Lovely Vintage.

4. this dress has everything i look for in a dress.

5. who couldn't use some motivational prints?

6. i need this.

7. so this is the inspiration for hipsters, right?

8. what a handsome fella.

9. i want to be an illustration in Paris.

10. naturally. the muppets!

SEE THE MOVIE.

happy monday everyone!
i get to hang out with an almost full awkward compliment tonight.
i'm very excited.

Gracious.

2011-11-24T09:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, everyone, it’s true. It’s Thanksgiving. It’s already the start of Christmas season, even though last week we were literally walking around in sundresses and bare legs.

Thanksgiving is actually my favorite holiday. It’s full of good spirits and laziness and being grateful for the good and ignoring the bad.

So, here are some things I'm grateful for:
The Muppets, Awkward Compliment, Sam Cooke, Mad Men, Christmas lights, vodka, Otis Redding, improv, my family, having fun with my friends, Griffin, red hair dye, dresses, technology {my Rebel, my Mac Book and my iPhone... how gross}, Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, coffee, lunch dates with Mary, laughing really hard at really dumb bits, Mark O'Connell yelling "The Russians are coming!" out the car window while driving through Charlestown, Edith Piaf, wedges, fun sexy times, glasses, handsome men, creativity, Sharpies, comedy, the album "Crazy Sexy Cool", Motown, hands, positive attitudes, oxford shoes, cursive and... hmm... the word "banana."

And that's just the tip of the iceberg right ahead! I'm grateful for so much. The truth is, next week things might be horrible, and things were certainly worse in the past, so it’s nice to sit back and enjoy life as it is right now in this moment today. I’m an incredibly lucky gal.

xox

iPhone Patty

2011-11-23T06:48:00.000-08:00

I lost my BlackBerry the other day. I would have been super sad about it, but I used it as an excuse to upgrade to the 21st century and get an iPhone. {After TWO DAYS of having no phone. I think that's pretty much what The Hunger Games felt like.}

It wasn't as easy as I was hoping. I was trying to get it without spending a lot of money. But, I had to cancel my account with my old provider and switch to a new one to save money, but then I had to get the more expensive phone because it was all they had. So, I spent a pretty penny. I certainly can't afford to eat fancy cheese now. But... I HAVE AN IPHONE.

I had no contacts, so I was trying to build them back up again. I emailed Casey, Mark and Mat to give me their numbers. This was the exchange:

CASEY

Me: 4*1-8*5-4*8*
Mark: 6*7-8*2-3**6

Mat: 6*7-**8-5**9

I did everyone's number because I'm nice!!

MAT:

Me: 4*1-8*5-4*8*

Mark: 6*7-8*2-3**6

Mat: 6*7-**8-5**9

CASEY:

LIES!!!

MARK:

Me: 4*1-8*5-4*8*

Mark: 6*7-8*2-3**6

Mat: 6*7-**8-5**9

CASEY:

Why? It's not funny. You guys are NOT funny.

MAT:

Me: 4

Mark: 8888888

Mat: BREAD

I love my friends and their bits!! Almost as much as I love my new iPhone. Did I mention I got an iPhone? I got an iPhone. Picture of Ryan above taken with my new iPhone. ryPhone.

Cheer Up, Kid!

2011-11-22T02:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people just need a little cheering up, even if everything in their life is going pretty well. Like today, I’m in a good mood. But, I’m a little disheartened. So, here are some tried and true tips on cheering yourself up. xox

1. Pretend you’re going out with someone handsome and put an outfit together.

2. Listen to Adele covering Sam Cooke.

3. Then, inspired by that, put on Adele’s album and sing it at the top of your lungs. (Even if there’s no way, no how your voice could go that high.)

4. Watch Elf.

5. Watch The Muppet Show on YouTube in preparation for the movie coming out!

6. Read the December issue of GQ while drinking a glass of whiskey. Just kidding. Whiskey’s kinda gross and should only be drunk when trying to impress a man. Just kidding, that is also pretty gross. Be yourself. Your gross self.

7. Go fake shopping at Anthropologie and cry. A lot. Because you're poor and you always will be!

8. Drink a bottle of wine. Watch an episode of 30 Rock and laugh really, really hard. 30 Rock has a lot of jokes per minute.

9. Drink a mug of Swiss Miss. NOT FANCY HOT CHOCOLATE. Drink the cheap, nostalgic shit!

10. Look at Facebook photo albums of fun times with your friends. And remember you have friends. Good friends. Really great friends.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-11-21T06:44:00.000-08:00

1. this plaid moose.

You Are My Fave.

2. nice stems... but look at those pumps!

i'd proudly sprain my ankle in those.

i am a greedy girl.

3. so many sketch ideas, and notes about cute boys, would live there.

4. tie a red and white ribbon round the old oak tree.

5. absolutely love this door mat.

6. this doesn't even really make sense.
BUT I LOVE IT.

7. i've got nothing but love for my state.
{another Nan Lawson.}

8. that's one classy satchel. wish it wasn't $500! (and that's half off.)

9. yes yes yes.

10. gobble.

happy monday!
and happy short week.

And so we've come, to the end of the week.

2011-11-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

I don't want to brag or anything, but I had a pretty good week. At least it started out really great and I rode that high for a loooooooong time. I was just lucky enough that other good things happened while I was riding that high! Plus, can you believe Thanksgiving is next week? I have so many viewings of The Muppets to attend!

Here are some things I found that I enjoyed. There's too many things I love to dedicate one post a week to it:

My friends Matt and Richie met their goal on Kickstarter and got their web series fully funded! Excited for them! (P.s. I'm going to be in it!)

This Otis Redding song is killer. I just love him.

Conan O'Brien's version of Polk Salad Annie. I saw it live when he came to Boston... I've had it in my head all week.

Lauren Conrad just gets me.

Just typing "Christmas" on Pinterest makes me stupidly giddy.

One of the students in the classes I intern for/new friend of mine, Andy, blew up on the internet last week for live tweeting a break up in a Burger King!

Ettiquette of a Lady.

Whatever, I love Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake. Silly.

Holiday Dressing.

2011-11-17T02:00:00.000-08:00

Since the holidays are coming up (I've already watched "Elf" once and listened to "A Very She and Him Christmas" a dozen times), I've been thinking a lot of what to wear. I'm a sucker for holiday dressing. Give me a party to go to, and I will dress the part! My work has a holiday party, and the past two years I've come up with a theme. It's the most fun I've ever had... in my life. (I'm NOT kidding. I hate ALL of my friends and my IMPROV SHOWS.)

So, here are some dresses I've found in all of my perusing. They're all under $100. At the very least, Casey will benefit from this. He loves dressing up for holiday parties. {He's also the only person who reads my blog. Hi Casey!}

fossil, $88.

american eagle, $50.

{i have a bit of a thing for emerald.}

modcloth, $92

{because who doesn't want to look like liza minelli?}

urban outfitters, $75.

Inspire(decorating)

2011-11-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

I feel like I need a little bit of change this week, so I got inspired this week to re-decorate my room. {We should all just take this moment to rejoice in the fact that I chose this instead of getting another tattoo... for now.} My room is super tiny, but I need to make the most of the space. I have some wall space that could use a little bit of changing up and some shelves that need to look more presentable. Thankfully, Pinterest is a thing that exists.

I plan on spending all the free time I have away from work, shows and having fun with my friends in a DIY cave of love! {That is every bit as gross as it sounds.}

color coded books/dvd's.

mysterious genevieve print.

type your heart out.

contact paper chevron stripes.

the tiniest desk space.

Los Angeles.

2011-11-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

Last week, I went to Los Angeles to hang out with those two idiots. I had a lot of fun. I hadn't seen them in a couple of months and I have been missing them a lot lately. And I had never been to L.A. It was supposed to be a surprise... but... I'm an over-anxious crazy person. And I ruined it. But, it was nice to hang out with each other and just do bits like old times.

The trip actually put a lot of things in perspective for me.

1. There's a huge world. A world much bigger than the small circle, or improv scene, in Boston. Some days I go home with a "this is the end of the world" feeling... and that's dumb. Because it's not.

2. That being said, I'm extremely lucky. I get to hang out with/perform with some of the most TALENTED people ever. And Awkward Compliment is one of the best things that ever happened to me. They're such a great group of guys. As gross as it sounds, I feel like I've made friends for liiiife.

3. I need to get a coffee maker and not spend so much buying coffee. (That's... a very small thing.)

4. Great things can happen if you just work really hard and make them happen. I have to stop being lazy and not do things because I'm afraid... like a DUMMY.

Anyways, I'm back. And I'm excited about my life here. And my life wherever I go next. Things are going pretty good for Old Ironsides. (That's me. Also, it's a ship.)

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-11-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

1. live for today.

2. i think tom haverford would like this.

3. i wish i had long hair again. cute fishtail braid.

4. obsessed.

5. STRIPES!

6. let's make a tent.

7. caaa-uuute cupcake topper.

mat dann would love this.

8. antiqued handcuff necklace.

is it wrong to think this is cute? probs.

9. gummy bear print.

10. boston. sigh.

happy monday!
i just had the best weekend, ever.
hopefully yours was as great! xoxo

my life, in pictures.

2011-11-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

i'm all out of words. here are some pictures of my life.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-11-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

1. nice way to show this awesome Steve Jobs quote.

found on A Beautiful Mess.

2. how awesome does this look?!?
they're in black and white!
i have to convince AC to do a photo shoot like that.
Here's looking at me kid.

3. awesome fake eyelash look.
modcloth tumblr.

4. color blocking at its best.
What I Wore.

5. mason jar chandeleir? never knew i needed ya.

6. supes cute chevron clutch.

7. you go, little kid! you win for cutest costume ever!
pinterest.

8. i'm actually jealous of these people. i want to be in this picture.

9. hey, wedges.

10. between the plaid and the dog, he's just killing it.

happy monday!

The Muppets

2011-11-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

We all know I'm in love with the Muppets. They make me giddy! When I saw Beaker and Bunsen on the cover of Wired (which gets delivered to my work), I yelled. They talk a lot about the technology behind the film and how they wanted to keep it consistent with the original movies and not include a lot of effects. I really, really loved the following quotes. I can't wait to see the movie.

"When I came onto this job, I said that I'd only consider doing it if we could stay with the simple idea that Jim Henson had in 1954 of having a camera, a puppet and a monitor. When you see Kermit onscreen, you want to be able to see this beautiful bright green felt." - James Bobin, director of The Muppets

"I have nothing against CGI, I think it's a new toy that people are having a really fun time playing with. But a kid can never meet Shrek. You can touch Kermit. He'll talk to you." - Jason Segel, writer and star

this honky grandma be busy.

2011-11-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Gosh darn, I've been so busy! I just want to reflect on some pretty awesome things.

A few weeks ago, I did the Awkward Compliment show and I really can't explain what it was. But the show was just the best. The whole time we were knocking it out of the park. We had a packed house. People were really on our side, we had each other's backs and afterwards we kind of all had this moment of, "Did we just do that?" We all felt like we had the best show ever. And I've done several hundred shows at this point and it was certainly in my top 5.

Then, we had our Halloween show on Monday night. And god damnit, I can't explain that either! It was just awesome. We over-sold and then had to turn some people away. And from top to bottom, the show was just great. Again, we had each other's backs, the crowd was awesome, we got along, we were positive, we were excited... and it was probably the best show I've ever been a part of!

Plus, Leather Gang is doing a new structure that has been THE MOST FUN. It has put some fire back into that little almost three-year-old group.

All of this, in just a month. It's nice to be reminded of why you just love what you do so much. And all the business and hard work is absolutely worth it. And when it gets to be too much, you take a day off and stay in bed all day and watch "Airplane." Or go visit your friends in Los Angeles :) (even though it was supposed to be a surprise but I'm bad at that.)

Look at that picture above! It's for the haunted house we (and by we I mean Matt and Vic Yambao) created for after the show. That was the most terrifying part of it. We even had a (fake) dead body hanging outside in the back stairwell! Such a fun time.

Things to Love on a Monday: Halloween Style

2011-10-31T06:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie. I'm not a big Halloween fan. When I was a kid, I was! I always had a Halloween party and my friends would sleep over and we'd have fun. But, as I grew up, it got old. I don't like scary movies, I don't like the pressure of dressing up. It's like New Year's Eve to me. Except I love New Year's Eve, so... that analogy didn't work.

I will say, this year I'm really excited. I'm in a Halloween show tonight that is going to be super awesome. (8pm at IA! Come on down!) I'm dressing up afterwards, whether I want to or not. And I'm going to have fun with my friends. So, here's some things to love!

1. a vintage Thriller poster.

have I told you guys that I like Michael Jackson?
i like Michael Jackson.

2. ghost necklace.

3. trick or treat card.

Rifle Paper co.

4. re-designed Dial M for Murder poster.

that Grace Kelly was quite a looker, huh?

5. my sister's halloween costume one year!!!

{Me: There is a picture of you in black face!
Betsy: No, it's supposed to be soot and dirt!
Me: Mom, did you put Betsy in black face?
Mom: Yes.}

6. owls are halloweeny, right?

fuck yeah tattoo.

7. ron swanson mask!

8. homemade carmen san diego costume.

What I Wore.

9. mummy pizzas.

10. awesome bat decor.
{i used this template for my office.}

happy halloween!!

Style Muse: Cher Horowitz

2011-10-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

Clueless. One of my favorite movies of all time! And it always will be. Just like nearly every other girl in her early (mid) twenties. It was the first movie I saw when I was younger that left a lasting sartorial impression on me. I was obsessed with that movie. I think I even saw it several times, bought the soundtrack and then ran out to my local Tello's to get whatever I could find to dress like Cher. And I still see things in stores and think "Cher!"

Once, I bought (or, my mom did) a sheer white blouse and I wanted to wear it for picture day at school. I believe I also paired it with a plaid skirt. I went downstairs for breakfast and my dad freaked out. Or as Cher would say, he went totally balistic. It was the first, and probably the last, time he ever got involved in whether my fashion choices made me look smart or slutty. And I think it's also the last time he threw a chair across a room angrily. Man, fun times.

But, the good news is, the 90's are now vintage. The style is coming back and it's cool again. I once heard that if you were alive to wear it the first time, you shouldn't wear it again. Dumb! I love pretending I'm from the 60's on a constant basis - but sometimes a plaid shirt, skinny jeans and Doc Martens feel like the most perfect outfit in the world.

Also, I'm really excited for berets. I won't wear them. But I'm glad they're here. And knee high socks. And back packs. Here is my updated for 2011 Cher Horowitz look. All of these things were cool in the 90's, went away for a while and now... they're back! Thank God. Now let's all go play suck and blow!

Lean on Me

2011-10-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or has everyone been crazy lately? I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean, everyone seems to be having a difficult time just making it through the day. This week alone, I've had several serious talks with friends. In my world, that's weird because most of the time we're busy doing bits and not having serious conversations because we're surpressing our feelings. And it wasn't just my friends coming to me, I was going to them too! What is going on?

But I noticed a recurring theme. In almost every conversation I had, someone knocked someone else down. And it made me realize how often we, as people, blame everyone else for our problems. And not even that... but we knock other people down to make us feel better about ourselves.

This is nothing against my wonderful friends. They're all wonderful. I know for a fact that I do it too. But it put everything into perspective for me... and I'm going to try to knock other people down less. I need to take responsibility for my own shortcomings and faults and take action on my own. But, having a friend around to talk (and drink) with is always an added bonus!

I just want to be more supportive. All people really want is some support. They want to go about their days feeling like someone, somewhere has their back. That someone would maybe, I don't know, know if they died if they weren't heard from in a couple of days. (This absolutely crossed my mind when I had a concussion.) Let's show each other support, like Liz supports Tracy. Even if it is against her will most times.

Pretty, witty, gracious.

2011-10-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

good words to live by.

from the Kate Spade tumblr.

Hipster Art.

2011-10-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

My walls, at the moment, are filled with tons of pin-up girls, Degas dancers, pictures of Michael Jackson and Tina Fey. So, it might be time for me to grow up and get some framed art. Naturally, because I'm a wannabe hipster, I'm going to the route of Hipster Art. I mean, how could you not love these prints?! That bear and that owl are the KEYS to my BLACK HEART.

all prints by corella design.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-10-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

1. oui! oui!

wit + delight.

2. a modpodged suitcase? i'm kind've obsessed with modpodge.
found on Skunkboy Creatures, made by Oh So Lovely Vintage.

3. such a pretty dress.
The Sartorialist.

4. what a life.
Modcloth Tumblr.

5. whimsical new york!
Rifle Paper co.

6. colorful chairs. i wish my theatre was like this.
Kate Spade tumblr.

7. OBVIOUSLY i need this.
so many exclamation points!!!
Kate Spade tumblr, again.

8. jonathan adler makes the best pillows.
and best houseware stuff in general. wish i was rich.

9. vintage typewriter. want need want.

10. and, a christmas tree print :)
christmas season starts for this broad next week!!!!

HAPPY MONDAY!
i'm getting shot by a nurse.
going to rehearsal.
and working.
MONDAY FUNDAY.
:)

"What if..."

2011-10-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

I wonder, how many times in our lives do we say, "What if?" or "Man, that'd be awesome if that could happen!" I bet we say it a shitload of times. A SHITLOAD. And I wonder how many times we've said that and how many times we've ever actually tried to make it happen.

I'm inspired lately by my friends who are making things happen. For one, my friend Kirsten is creating a full-length album! She raised her goal of $5,000 and then some! And my friends Richie and Matt are currently raising money for a web series they want to produce. {Donate! To both! Everyone is talented!} So, I thought about what's going on in my life that I can make happen. And there are a lot of things that I don't do because, frankly, I'm afraid.

Like start that style blog with Cavan. And write that spec script I have outlined. Or that sitcom pilot. Or that book. Or another play. Or direct an improv group. Or... the list is endless. Literally. It's on a scroll.

I don't know. Let's get out there and do something, everyone.

P.s. I had a show with Awkward Compliment last night that was one of the best I've ever been a part of. We were all on a high after that show. Sometimes, you just need little reminders that you have the best job in the world.

Happy weekend!

Photo from Photoboother. My new favorite site.

Things to Do: Us!

2011-10-20T10:06:00.000-07:00

Awkward Compliment was featured today on Boston.com's "Things to Do" section. We're also an Editor's Pick. Apparently, we have been for a year, but they've never put us on the front page before. I know it's very small, but I'm super happy about it. That weekly comedy show I do with the best guys in the world in the basement of The Somerville Theatre is my favorite job. So, I'm glad it is recognized as something to do! You bet your balls we're something to do!

Next, I just need to get an iPhone so I can be friends with them again and be a part of their constant group text messages.

So, remember, if you're around here, to come to our show on Thursday nights at 8pm. We're fun!

Hip pics, my dude.

2011-10-19T02:00:00.000-07:00

Mary got an iPhone!

Here are some hip pics of me having fun with my friends.

Yoga Challenge.

2011-10-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

Last January/February, I did a 21-day yoga challenge. It was one of the best things I've ever done. Sure, I pulled a muscle in my back and didn't realize how badly I had actually hurt it until MONTHS later. That's beside the point! It was just nice to be super dedicated to it every single day and to feel good about myself and see how strong my body got! So strong I can lift a small dog! Plus, I lost like fifteen pounds and that was sweet.

I decided to do it again. At the WORST time. The first time, it was the dead of winter. There was nothing to do but sit around and sulk {except me! who did yoga! then sulked.} And I had a lot of free time in my schedule to play around with. I knew what days I'd be waking up early and what days I'd be able to do it after work. I had only two shows a week and no rehearsals, so it was great!

Now, even just thinking of this past weekend, I was in my apartment for maybe 15 hours and I was sleeping for 13 of them. I'm constantly running around. {And, uh, falling down.} I have shows, rehearsals, classes... in addition to that pesky day job of mine! And in addition to having fun with my friends and sending sexy pictures of my calf muscles to random men. I'm in the midst of a pretty stressful month already... so why not throw something else in the mix? Oh, brother.

If you're interested, I based it on a challenge I read about in Yoga Journal. They have specific things to do on each day, but I didn't do that. I just took the idea of "doing yoga every single day for 21 days" as my philosophy and I ran with it. Or, uh, stretched with it. Get it? Yoga humor! Some days I did it for 20 minutes, others I did it for 60. I highly recommend it. Or 21 days of doing anything you like... whether it's not eating meat or running or stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.

Here's to not failing! Also, I just used that picture at the top for the following reasons: I like my hair, I wanted to show off my giant hipster glasses and my boobs were "happening" that night. {As Roberto would say.} It's my blog and I can boob if I want to.

Things to Love on a Monday.

2011-10-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

1. the patrice coat!

{kelly & jules both call me patrice. so... i seeing it warms my cold heart!}

2. there's also the patrice top.

funny thing is, they're both totally my style.

maybe the top a little more.

3. cool graffiti.

kate spade tumblr.

4. framed wallpaper. such a cute idea!
Lauren Conrad.
{i secretly love her.}

5. holy shit, those shoes. shoes of my DREAMS.
Garance Dore.

6. for when i don't want to deal with real men,

i'll talk to these little guys!

A Cup of Jo.

7. those nails, that necklace, her blog.
{bleubird vintage}

8. i am GREEN with ENVY! hahhahaha. no? ok.
i am a greedy girl.

9. love these carnival postcards from The Black Apple!

10. i also just really love this print.

check out The Black Apple shop, it's so warm and fuzzy and great.

happy monday, everyone!

No, Patty, no.

2011-10-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

party owl print.

The other night I fell down a flight of stairs. I do that a lot. I'm very clumsy. I got right up and said, "I'm fine." Because like I said, I fall a whole lot. Turns out I had a concussion.

I don't remember the entire night after the fall. I don't even remember leaving the bar after it. I apparently stayed up for a few more hours... don't remember any of that. And I woke up in my friend's bed with the worst headache of my life and immediately threw up several times. I sat on his chair and just cried for what felt like hours because I didn't know what to do...

So, naturally, I went to work. No make-up. Frizzy hair from the rain. Same outfit from the previous night. Pale skin from dehydration. A co-worker saw me and literally got so scared that she immediately told my boss that I had to go home. I did and I tried to sleep, then I realized what had happened and that I probably had a concussion. Everyone said, "Don't mess around with your brain!" And that terrified me. So... I spent hours and hours and hours in the emergency room. First they said it was nothing. Then they said I might have a blood clot in my brain. So... six terrifying hours later, they told me I was fine and just had a concussion... and now I'm left with a huge headache that wraps around my head like a head band.

Needless to say, Party Owl is going to take a time-out this weekend. And never, ever walk again.

The Things We Collect

2011-10-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

The other night I fell asleep, after having many beers, with my glasses on, my computer wide open notifying me that I had just finished watching the second episode of the first season of "Breaking Bad," and my phone on my chest. So, already you can tell that I have to get my shit together.

Around 5am, I woke up in an unflattering and uncomfortable state. So, I reached over to put my phone on the shelf next to me. But, in my sleepy haze, I accidentally dropped it. The problem is... in the North End, apartments are tiny, therefore rooms are also tiny. My bed is pushed up next to built-in shelving, so there's next-to-no space between the shelves and my bed. When my phone fell, it was like a golf ball going down the last whole on the mini golf course. I was sure it had gone away forever. I had to get up, move my bed a couple of inches to the right {where it automatically touched the other wall} and attempt to find my phone {which I needed to wake up for work.} Again, at 5am.

In the THIRTY MINUTES it took me to find the phone {picture me constantly swearing and crying while in the process} I also found the following items that had dropped into the scary pit of death:

three empty bottles of Smart Water, one half-empty one.
old bills
Glamour magazine from August 2009.
thousands of Q-Tips
two bottles of nail polish remover
two 10-lb free weights that I thought I had lost, so I had already bought new ones
SO MANY SHOES.
a birthday present I bought for my dad last year and couldn't find
My Clueless DVD. {I was really missing that!}
a plain white t-shirt I had been looking for
broken picture frames
scripts for several different productions of shows.
the cat, Edith.
a white belt, that I don't even understand why I had bought in the first place
the OTHER set of free weights
a sheet set and a pillow case {how I lost those without noticing is beyond me}
a bottle of lotion

You know what the last item I found was? My phone. Which was tucked away in the smallest, dirtiest corner underneath a Build-a-Bear prop that I stole from the NXT show I did in fall 2009.

Moral of the story? Clean your room. Even the scary cave-like parts you never want to go near. Also, get your shit together, Patty. Stop drinking on a Monday.

I'm Boy Crazy.

2011-10-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was talking to a male friend of mine who had the nerve to call me "boy crazy." And I said, "No! I'm not!" Then he said, "Yes, you are. Why else do you flirt with me?" And he was right. I flirt with him for attention. Also because he has a good face structure. But, still, mainly for the attention. Who doesn't like a lot bit of attention?

His comment really made me sit down and think about my life, which I tend to do when I'm alone.... or with people. And I realized, "How many conversations with your lady friends are about boys?" The answer to that is: Most of them. Mary's answer to that? All of them. To which my reply is, "Hey! Come on! Sometimes I talk about guacamole!"

OK. So. Yes. Conversations do revolve around boys. But... then I was randomly looking through the saved messages on my phone... and there were a few from boys only. Not one is from a girl! OK, there are two saved messages from a girl. But that girl is me and they're both passwords. One to an alarm system and one to a secret land in World of Warcraft. Or... a padlock. Anyways, the saved messages were something sweet and cute and flirty and/or terribly gross and disgusting but made me swoon anyway because I'm terribly gross and disgusting.

I don't know when this happened {as a teenager} but apparently I'm boy crazy now {slash have been forever.} I guess when you start crushing on living, talking human beings that you know with faces you can touch and not posters of people you've never met on your wall that are covered in Bonnie Bell-flavored kisses... well, your love life certainly spices right up. And when the spice gets stirred into the pot, you've got one heaping bowl of Boy Crazy!

Nope? That didn't work? I'll work on it.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-10-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

1. the best sign.

found on the lovely You Are My Fave.

2. i mean, i'd never get it. but IT'S AWESOME.
pulp fiction is the best.
found here. {thanks kathryn!}

3. really awesome nails.
Cupcakes and Cashmere.

4. if you've ever been out dancing with me where I'm really drunk,
or at my work holiday party..
you'll know this is my signature move.
i will most definitely do it at my wedding.
found on A Cup of Jo.

5. adorable hair bow! (and hair color;)
A Beautiful Mess.

6. i absolutely want to be the hamburglar for halloween now.
What I Wore.

7. a little bit adorable.

8. cute chevron clutch. the three c's!

9. a beautifully done tattoo.

10. disco feet!

i'm not going to lie, might be one of my favorite "things to love" to date.
also, i am working today. i hate it.
happy monday :)

Sweetums.

2011-10-07T06:59:00.000-07:00

Do you watch "Parks and Recreation?" Well you should. One of the interns at my work left the new Pawnee book on my desk today and I've been flipping through it... it's pretty amazing. Pawnee, Indiana is the town where the show is based. And the town itself is basically a character. Sort of like Springfield in "The Simpsons."

Pawnee's slogan is, "First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity." Sweetums candy factory is hugely responsible for this. Here's a list of Sweetums candy factory's products:

*Fruityums - Chewy fruit candies
*Icyums - Wintergreen gum
*Frooties! - soda pop, really just a 32 oz. can of corn syrup.
*Gusherz - Nougat-filled chocolates
*Nutz 'N Stuf - Candy snack mix with nuts, licorice bites, gummy bears, red hots, pretzels and beef jerky nuggets.
*Jus' Stuf - Candy snack mix (just beef jerky nuggets and licorice)
*Kandy Nailz - Candy fingernails
*Lil' Nooses - Licorice ropes
*Puppy Pops - Dog bone-shaped shortbread biscuits for people
*Poppy Pups - Bagel-shaped dog bones for dogs
*Wateryums - Hard candy with refreshing water inside
*Earring Pops - Earring-shaped candy (can actually pierce ears, contains metal)
*Metalyums - Candy-scented eleven-inch industrial construction screws (not for consumption)
*Nougat in Yo' Face - Facial cream (not for consumption)
*Sweetums Peanut Butter - Not for consumption
*Teef Saverz - Sugarfree gum
*Teef Killerz - Extra sugar gum
*Mike and Plenty
*Good and Ike
*Sweetums Fun Salt - Salt (high-fructose corn syrup-flavored salt)
*Sweetums Delicious SnakPak - 100-calorie snack packs
*Sweetums Delicious SnackPak - 1,000-calorie snack packs
*SwimmyYums - Pan-roasted wild striped bass dipped in chocolate
*High-fructose corn syrup

Discontinued products:
*Lithiyums - High-lithium fruit gummies
*Morphyums - High-morphine Lithiyums
*Low-fat Morphyums - Low-fat high-morphine Lithiyums
*Morphyums Zero - High-morphine Lithiyums with zero calories
*Edible Monacles
*Grandpa-Flavored Butterscotch Candies
*Marlyums - Smokeable candy cigarettes
*"Bitter Memories" Brand Licorice
*White Chocolate Eggs
*Whites-Only Chocolate Eggs
*Whites-Only White Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups for White People
*Taffy for Hispanics
*Bag of Acid
*Thimble o' Beef Stew
*Candy Actual-Canes - Intended for use as canes
*Gumdrops 'N Hair
*Butt Lollipops - theorized about, drawn up in the lab, oddly at one time considered for military applications, never actually produced.

Patty Lately

2011-10-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was making the journey up my really terrible stairs after a very long and tiring day. Not that it was bad, it was a good day! A really good day. But I hadn't slept much the night before and was going non-stop from 9am to midnight. Anyway, I had this weird moment of awesomeness. I actually sort of lost my breath (not just because of the stairs) and just thought, "My life is pretty great right now." Why, you don't ask? I'll tell you!

I have a consistent group of friends that don't make me feel like shit or make me angry or annoy me. I was talking to a friend recently who had issues with some co-workers because they don't make genuine connections and only seem to be friends with people that can get them somewhere. I'm happy to say I'm not one of those people. And none of my friends are, either. I'm friends with people who just want to have a drama-free, good time. A lot of us work together, and do we vent frustrations often? Sure. But, for the most part, we're friends because we have deeper connections and a lot more to talk about than our common denominator. Even if that "deeper connection" is boys, cats or outfit pictures to see if I look okay before I go to work in the morning.

I started interning improv classes over the summer, and I've taught a few by myself, and I'm really surprised at how much I love it. The first time, I just kept thinking that I didn't know enough to tell these people how to do this. But, I've been doing this for 6 years at this point! And I do it SO much. Of course I know what I'm talking about. And I love talking about it. And it's helping me do better work. So, that has been incredibly rewarding and great for me.

I don't know. I feel like I'm in a good place. And that I've found my "niche." I'm happy with who I am, what I do, where I want to go and all of my interests. For instance, I downloaded a lot of Sam Cooke and Otis Redding music... so I've been listening to that non-stop and I'm not going to lie, it makes me pretty damn happy.

So, my life lately has been wonderful. Even if I look like weird ugly pictures sometimes. But, right now, I'm feeling on top of the world. And I don't know if you guys feel it, but it's been a long time coming. But I know, I know... a change is gonna come. {Sam Cooke/Otis Redding reference! SLAM.}

Imma Steal Your Land.

2011-10-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

the best picture. of all time.

When I was a kid, I was always up between 7 and 8am. I loved getting up early on weekends to watch cartoons and eat cereal and play with my Barbies. I'm still an early riser, I rarely sleep past 10am... because I still want to wake up early to watch cartoons and play with Barbies. But when I do shows {all day} on Saturday, I find myself sleeping until 12 or 1 the next day. So you can imagine my chagrin when this past Sunday, after doing Saturday shows all day, I was up before 9am trying to dress up in the best Native American gear that I had.

... which was nothing. I had bought a dress, but left it at the theatre. So I wore a blue shirt dress with a camel colored sweater over it. I looked like White Irish Pocahontas... going to her first day at Harvard. But it was OK because DiBello was in jeans and Ryan was in a khaki colored corduroy cut off shorts. We really did it. Authenticity is the name of our game.

This was all to film a video with Jim Dandy, Boston's #1 two-person comedy group that more people need to know about. They're comprised of Mark O'Connell and Stephen Serwacki. They look like this:

"Hi. We're Wack and Mark. We're funny."

I'll leave out the sketch details, but I'll say this. If I could spend every tired Sunday morning with these guys {AC and friends of AC}, I would. I would quit my job, make zero dollars and never move forward with my comedy career just to hang out on a beach with these great idiots. I have so much fun. Between Mat Dann just being himself, two dogs having sex, some weird homeless {maybe?} dude yelling inappropriate things about girls' butts as they ran by but loving the shit out of us... I spent the whole morning cracking up. I like mornings like that.

So, you'll probably just have to come see the Jim Dandy show in November to see what we helped them with. They have the most hilarious minds. Nobody makes me laugh more! And no one turns me on more... than Brendan in a wig.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-10-03T02:00:00.000-07:00

1. various grilled cheese recipes. what a fun winter i'm going to have.

A Beautiful Mess.

2. this barrett loves a dot!
The Sartorialist.

3. when i have my finale singing performance before i die,
this is what i will wear.

4. vintage microphone. i've always wanted one of these.
tick tock vintage.

5. a blank page is very inspiring.
Black Eiffel.

6. what a fun place to nap!

7. gorge.

8. i love degas.

9. HITSVILLE, USA.
y'all know i love that motown sound!

10. bee nails!!!

HAPPY MONDAY!

Goodernatch!

2011-09-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

One of the great things about doing improv is the community. I'm surrounded by talented and wonderful people all the time! And I have a lot of friends. But, really, not many compare to the guys of Awkward Compliment for me. They are some of my best friends in the world. Even last night, DiBello and I did a show at Northeastern, then went to Davis Square to hang out with those idiot friends of ours for like... an hour. Then took a $30 cab ride home. Because we love them!

I miss Matt and Casey. All the time. I understand that people move and that life is a revolving door and people are constantly walking in and out of it. But I hate it! I've never missed anyone as much as those two. They're my brothers. Today is Matt's birthday. And when I realized that last night I remembered that I bought him a present that I never sent him. So, this is my temporary present to him. Until he gets the real thing... like next week. It's real cute, Matt. Like, when you open it, you'll go, "Yeah. This is a Patty gift."

Anyway, here's to Matt! The Baby Faciest of all the Baby Faces. Who would do anything for me in a heartbeat. Who would absolutely beat the shit out of anybody for me (because he likes getting into fights) (and Casey can't.) Who would help me when I'm being helped. Who would let me come over, drink bottles of wine, pass out on his couch and then he would hide my HOUSE keys so I wouldn't drive my car home drunk in a snowstorm which I would eventually do anyway... because he took my HOUSE keys. Who would give me three of the best gifts I've ever received {a giant owl, a giant picture frame with pictures of him and Casey and the above picture.} AND WHO IS THE BEST DYAD IN THE WORLD.

i love you BFG!

Funny Boner: Amy Poehler

2011-09-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

photo.

There’s something about Amy Poehler that I really like. Maybe it’s because she’s from Boston (Burlington, to be exact… home of the fanciest mall) or maybe it’s just her “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. But, damn, she’s cool.

This week, I was a comedy nerd and read two oral histories. One was about one of my favorite movies, “Wet Hot American Summer” and the other was for UCB’s 15 years in New York City. Poehler was involved in both of these! So, it’s only right that I put my funny boner in her. Oh my God, what did I just say? Forget that.

Regardless, I always thought she was great on "SNL." She was on during a time where she stood out, but a lot of the ladies were just as great. Her, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch and Tina Fey were killing it every week. It was one of those casts that meshed really well together and everyone was good. I think there are currently some funny ladies on SNL now, but Kristen Wiig is the obvious stand-out star.

But, when I saw her in “Wet Hot American Summer” I absolutely fell in love. It was such a small part in a huge cast but she was so funny! She played an authoritative camp counselor who took the art of theater very seriously and didn’t want to put on a shitty talent show. I just love that movie so much, in all its weirdness, and it was the first time I was like, “Oh! Hey! I like her!”

Then I read “Bossypants” and Tina Fey does nothing but say wonderful things about her. I’ve wrote about it before, but there was that chapter about how Jimmy Fallon said she wasn’t cute when she said something gross and Amy got serious and said, “I’m not here to be cute.” She is serious about the business of being funny, and she’s not apologizing for anything she does and it’s great.

photo.

Then, there’s the whole video interview where the guy was trying to get her to compete with Tina Fey and she refused to buy into it. And at the Emmy’s, she organized that all the Best Actress nominees would get up and take the stage when their names were called as if it were a beauty pageant. She’s so supportive of other women, and to be honest, not a lot of women are. It’s a competitive business and everyone’s fighting to be the funny lady. It’s a nice reminder, actually.

And, of course, there’s "Parks and Recreation." If you’re not watching it, then you should. I love that show because it’s hilarious, obviously. But it’s really nice to see a lead character who is nice and everybody likes. Michael Scott had his problems and he mostly irked everyone, but everyone loves Leslie Knope and would do anything for her. She’s just a passionate lady who cares about her job, and people respect her for it.

I just really like that she’s sort of changing the game. She’s a leading lady, she’s very funny, she’s friends with people and she can run with the guys. Tina Fey is a super star and Amy Poehler is, too. There’s enough room for both of them in the world! And even more ladies… there doesn’t just have to be ONE ‘it” funny lady at a time. Which is refreshing, because that’s a lot of pressure. And I’m really bad at fighting people for things.

Stuff White People Like

2011-09-27T02:00:00.000-07:00

Roberto: Patty, I was watching Star Wars this weekend and thought of you.

Me: Why?

Roberto: Don't you like Star Wars?

Me: No, I've actually never seen it.

Roberto: What? Fine. Next time I watch it I won't think of you then.

Me: What made you think I liked "Star Wars?" I've never talked about it!

Roberto: Because it's on stuff that white people like!

{i really love that little mexican! even when i'm yelling at him. because he's drunk and touching everyone inappropriately. or saying that he has to go to the bathroom and then secretly ditches everyone AT HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY for a boy. but he's just so adorable!}

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-09-26T02:00:00.000-07:00

1. does this remind anyone else of Nanny? i love it!!

A Beautiful Mess.

2. and also from A Beautiful Mess...

DIY heart jeans! so cute.

3. love this tattooed flapper print!
makes me think i'd be able to be a flapper. in the 2020's.

4. balloooooons!

5. victory rolls.

6. if you look closely, you'll see that my friend DiBello was there!
having a great time.

7. supes cute. that's where i want my next tattoo.
too bad i already got birds!

8. yes.

9. what a handsomely dressed man.
Green Wedding Shoes.

10. cute outfit. cute hair.
pinterest.

happy monday!
(that was a very vintage-y things to love post. sorry. i'm not.)

Peeves.

2011-09-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

photo.

Peeves is a poltergeist. In the Harry Potter world. Peeves are also annoying things. I think that's the technical definition.

Today is one of those days where everyone and everything is getting on my nerves. Nobody's particularly doing anything, but it's annoying nonetheless. And I'm not the only one. Everyone I've talked to is seemingly in a horrific mood. So, instead of beating it, I'm going to join it.

Things I hate:

- Loud chewing.

- Blisters.

- People who walk slow... specifically up stairs.

- The sound of high heels on a hardwood floor.

- Wanting attention but not getting it but not wanting to seek it, either. (This one is oddly specific.)

- Passive aggression.

- The response "yea" or "yeah" or "ye," although I have to admit I don't know many people who say "ye."

- Small talk with people I barely know.

- Dirty glasses and being too lazy to reach into your bag to get your cloth to clean them. (Again, specific.)

- Stomach aches.

- It being Friday at 2 and not Friday at 5:30.

- No Christmas trees year round.

- People who chew gum while improvising.

- The phrase, "This might be a stupid question..."

- Low battery iPod or phone battery.

- Overly defensive or argumentative people.

Open Letter to Ladies

2011-09-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies,

We're not perfect, right? Of course we're not. We're emotional, needy, attention-whores and it's time we admit it and stop getting mad at guys for saying these things about us. Sure, it shouldn't be held against us. Because, we're ALL that way for the most part. At this point, they should know what they're getting into, right?! But let's embrace our womanhood!

Here are some tips I have learned... from one imperfect lady to another.

1. Don't talk about how cool you are, just be cool. I think I'm great! I really do. But when I'm seeing a guy, I don't constantly say, "Man, you can hang out with whatever lady you want, I swear I won't get jealous. That's how lucky you are." I just don't get jealous (unless there's a history of lack of trust.) But in general, have faith that you're constantly exuding personality and don't have to remind everyone of it all the time.

2. ~~Don't be crazy~~ Don't think you'll feel better by making someone else feel bad. Just... stop. If someone doesn't want you or like you... stop. Stop trying to make it work! It's not going to! Feel sad, eat your feelings, drink a lot, fall asleep in your hallway or on the side of buildings (both happened to me) and let your little heart break into a million little pieces. Contacting him to make him feel bad, guilty, awkward will do NOTHING but make him pity you, and the response you get (or lack thereof) will NOT make you happy.

3. Don't sell yourself short. If you're at work and you think you deserve a promotion, ask for it. Own up to every good quality in both your personal and professional life. This means, accept compliments. If someone tells you they like your outfit, say "Thanks." and not, "What? Really? I don't know, I feel like I look weird today." And if you want a certain job and feel you're qualified, go after it. A man would never second guess something like that, why should you?

4. Pick up the pieces yourself. Don't ever expect anybody else to do it for you. And don't hold it against anyone for not fixing you. You're in charge of your own life. You're a big girl. Understand that if all you ever do is cry and leave the house in sweatpants and judge everyone around you and get mad at other people's happiness - people will stop inviting you out. Take control of yourself, put on our sassy pants, swipe on some lipstick and get out there!

5. I'm sorry I said the word "sassy pants."

Love,
Patty Barrett, or Ms. Barrett if you're nasty.

P.s. I'm sorry I said that, too.

Funny Boner: The Muppet Show.

2011-09-21T02:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted to start a new series on my blog dedicated to comedians/shows/movies that I love. It's called Funny Boner, because that is a funny name. Ha ha ha. HAHAH.

Over the weekend, I realized that there is a YouTube channel dedicated to "The Muppet Show." I mean, four seasons are on that thing. So I've been delightfully indulging in some hilarious muppets. And they are so great.

I really appreciate comedy that withstands the test of time. The show was on in the 70's, but I have been cracking up while watching it. The jokes are funny and super relatable and there is a clear formula. Aside from the fact that some of the guest stars aren't relevant anymore (and I don't even know who most of them are!) it's still REALLYenjoyable to watch.

While watching, it's easy to forget that you're watching adorable puppets and not actual people. It's weird! And trust me, I know I keep forgetting, because I keep becoming sexually attracted to different muppets and then realizing that's wrong! Right? It's wrong? Yes, Patty! Yes!

So, here's to my friends Kermit, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo the Great, Rowlf, Swedish Chef, Scooter, Beaker, Miss Piggy, etc. Watch some episodes of the show! And the following clips:

"I Never Harmed An Onion" - Rowlf.

"Cowboy Time"

and, the movie parody trailer for the upcoming The Muppet Movie:

Marcia, Jan or Cindy?

2011-09-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

I was eating food the other day with my friend when he told me he was a middle child. OF COURSE HE WAS A MIDDLE CHILD. It made so much sense to me! And I told him that. And he was like, "What?" and I was like, "Huh?" And he was like, "What does that mean?" And then I explained Middle Child Syndrome (Jan Brady-syndrome), and he didn't know what I was talking about and had never watched a single episode of "The Brady Bunch" which is just fucking insane, but anyway. He fits the mold of a middle child almost perfectly. And I've known him for like a month, so, yeah... I'd say I know it all.

I mean, not even "A Very Brady Sequel"? That is arguably the best Brady Bunch movie, and one of my favorite movies ever. Maybe. I digress.

I, on the other hand, am very much a youngest child. I'm spoiled, creative, outgoing and pretty helpless. Like, really bad at doing things without being pointed in the right direction. I mean really bad. This is what a random website tells me I am, and I agree! I'm a comedian!

More adventurous. Last born or youngest children are more likely to be “loose cannons”, according to an article in Time magazine (“The Power of Birth Order”, Oct 29, 2007). Youngest children are more likely to be an artist, entrepreneur or adventurer – and more likely to participate in physically risky sports.

Funnier. Last born children are more likely to be comedians or satirists. They’ll be outrageous or funny as a power strategy in the family.

More agreeable. Younger children tend to get along in the world better – a trait known as “agreeableness” in the Big Five Personality Traits. Compared to first born children, last borns are less likely to provoke people.

My sister is the oldest! We're the only two. So we have no middle children to worry about. Older children are known to be smarter, better educated, make more money and the favorite. They are the "protectors." Well, she is better-educated, she is a lawyer, makes more money than I do and, she'll contest this, but she's the favorite.

So, now that I've wasted your time with nerd facts, who are you? Marcia? Jan? Cindy? Alice? Sam the Butcher? And while we're at it, watch "A Very Brady Sequel." You idiots.

Things to Love on a Monday

2011-09-19T02:00:00.000-07:00

1. i want to live my life like i'm in a circus. ALWAYS.

urban outfitters... overpriced.

2. ships + balloons = yes.
found here. sent to me by kathryn!

3. oh my god. such an adorable tattoo idea. i love peter rabbit.
FUCK YEAH TATTOO {my favorite site.}

4. ooh! typewriter tags! i NEED these for nothing!

5. this is how don and betty spent new year's 1956.
happy times! AMC

6. love this cute temporary tattoo from Tattly.
cause i'm trouble!

7. a fishtail braid with yarn! super cute.
A Beautiful Mess.

8. beautiful painted portrait.
found on Oh Joy!

9. this dress actually made me gasp.
Oscar de la Renta knows how to do it, man.
Style.

10. another tattoo. can't help myself.

happy monday!

Thanks Conan!

2011-09-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

Now that we're going into the colder months, Wednesdays have sort of become our trivia day again. We've been going to Goody's and coming up with fun team names: Crepes of Wrath, Touched by an Uncle and, most recently, Toast Busters.

The way our trivia guy does it is different. At the end there are usually two questions that you can wager up to 10 points for. If you get it wrong, you lose half of what you wagered. Well, he does 20 points. So basically, even if you're winning by a lot, you can totally lose in the last two questions. Which is the worst... especially when you were in the lead, like we were on Wednesday!

So, the first question is about Finding Nemo. Easy, got it, love a good Pixar movie. The second was this, "Which country gave women rights in 1906 before any other country, but didn't gain its own independence until 1917. Its female president was re-elected in 2006."

I said, "Guys, this might be a stretch. But I know that Conan O'Brien looks like the female president of Finland and she was recently re-elected. It's a long show, but it might be Finland." And they were debating if it could be anybody else, but then they let me wager 20 and give the answer.

WE DID IT! And we were the only team who got it correctly.

So, for that, I'd like to thank Conan O'Brien for helping us get $50 off our meal that night. We're very poor and thankful.

You Can Call Me Joan

2011-09-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

I just don't feel like being me today. There's too much going on in my life that I really can't figure out. I can't make a decision. I'm anxious and confused all the time. I have too many balls in the air. And boys! Don't get me started on boys! I'm super frustrated and there's really no helping it... so, I'm going to be someone else.

I'm going to be Joan ~~Holloway~~ Harris.

When people talk to me, I'm going to look at them as if they should know the answer to their own question and they have no right wasting my time with silly things.

If anyone treats me poorly, I'm going to let them know that I hope they die in the Vietnam war. I mean, I know that's like super out of context and we're not in the Vietnam War anymore. But, still.

I'm going to walk around like I own the place, because let's face it, I do.

I'm going to flaunt my shiiit and strut my stuff.

I'm going to listen to the song "C'est Magnifique" and pretend I can play it on the accordion.

I'm going to be confident with who I am and make decisions that I want to make just because I feel like it. And if I make mistakes, then so be it. I'll handle them with grace and maturity because I understand that I'm responsible for my actions. But... I don't regret them.

And oh yeah, I'll be fucking hot!

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